Greatest Gift
by ElisaCollette
Summary: Sara and Grissom try to make a home and a life for a scared little girl who has quite the frightening past. Life gets interesting as their relationship gets complicated by the trials and tribulations of becoming parents to a four year old. COMPLETE
1. Stranger Things

Hi! I know I shouldn't be starting another story, but this popped into my head, so I hope you like it. It's my first attempt with CSI (I've been writing fanfiction for a while, just not for this show); so let me know if I should continue. Enjoy!

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Chapter 1 Stranger Things

The sun was beginning to rise and work was almost ended for the criminalists of the night shift in Las Vegas, Nevada. All of the larger cases having been wrapped up earlier in the night, several of the employees were scattered about the lab, simply waiting for the last few minutes of shift to pass. While most were finishing up paper work and straightening up workstations, Sara was on her way to her supervisor's office. She was tired. Tired of pretending she wasn't in love with the man. And tired of working with the woman who seemed to have won him over. She was resigning. She wasn't sure where she would go, but anywhere out of viewing distance of Sophia and Grissom's possible relationship was the general plan.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked lightly on the doorframe before stepping inside and closing the door behind her. Grissom turned around, saw her, and motioned for her to wait while he finished with his phone call. While waiting, she picked up the nearest book and began flipping through it, the title and contents never registering to her until he hung up the phone and spoke.

"Have you read La Fanu?" She nodded slightly as she set the book back down. "Apparently, he wrote one of the first vampire stories. But Stoker came around not long after and captured more of a general audience—"

"Grissom, we need to talk."

"What are we doing now?"

"Have a book discussion," she said dryly. "I'm turning in—" before she could get past the third word, a loud knock sounded at the door. Before Grissom could speak, the door opened to reveal Brass along with another middle-aged man and a tiny, wide-eyed little girl.

"Gil Grissom, this is Trevor McCall. He's an attorney from California and he needs to speak to you."

"Can I finish?" Sara needed to give in her resignation before she changed her mind.

"Sara, maybe you can take Hannah here to the lounge and see if she needs a drink," Brass suggested firmly. It wasn't a question; the little girl needed to be out of the room and Sara was the closest female, therefore the appointed sitter.

"I'm not good with kids," she hissed quietly.

"You'll be fine," Brass assured her. He stooped down to look at the little girl from her level and continued in a much softer, more sympathetic voice.

"Hannah, this is Sara. You should go with her while Mr. McCall talks to Dr. Grissom." The little girl didn't respond, simply continued to stare at him through her wide, frightened blue eyes. But when Sara offered her hand, the little girl grabbed it tightly and followed the older woman outside. Once in the hall, Sara stooped down so that she could fully see the tiny brunette with the bright blue eyes. Her features were perfect, her skin pale and her cheeks with just the right amount of pink. That, along with her silence, made Sara compare her to a china doll.

"Hi there," Sara said uncomfortably once she was looking directly into the little girl's piercing gaze. She kept the smile on her face but the little girl's expression worried her; something was terribly wrong with this child. "Do you want something to drink? We have water, and juice, I think—" Her voice trailed off once she realized that her speaking was having no effect on the girl. She stood back up and continued to the break room where Greg and Nick were reading through a cold case file.

"Hey Sara," Nick said as he gave his friend a questioning look.

"Nick, Greg, this is Hannah. Hannah, these are two of the guys I work with. This is Nick and this," she said with a gesture towards Greg, "is Greg. Guys, shift is over," she said as she reached over to close the folder Nick was holding. Before speaking, he realized that he had been looking at photos of a victim. Not something a little girl should see.

"Well, Hannah, it was nice to meet you," Nick said as he stood. "Have fun with Sara."

"So, what does _she_ have that I don't have?" Greg asked as he also stood.

"Out," Sara said firmly, giving Greg a good-natured glare. After he was gone, Sara turned back to the little girl, who was standing exactly where she had been upon entering the room. Reaching out carefully and gently, Sara picked her up and placed her on one of the chairs, noting along the way that she had lifted heavier field kits. Going into the refrigerator, she pulled out two bottles of water, an apple, and a piece of Catherine's chocolate; she wouldn't mind. Setting this on the table and retrieving a napkin and a knife, Sara sat down next to the little girl. She remained motionless until she saw the older woman pick up the knife. Sara saw her flinch and placed the utensil back on the table, reaching for the water instead.

"I was just going to cut the apple," she told the girl gently. "Hannah, how old are you?" Nothing. "Please?" She pressed softly. Eventually, the little girl raised her hand a bit and held out four fingers.

"Really? Wow. I'm almost thirty years older than you." The little girl looked at her in surprise. "Yeah, I know, I'm a dinosaur." Hannah smiled but then quickly returned to her fearful, frozen expression.

"Hey, was that a smile?" Sara asked, flashing a bright smile of her own. "You have a beautiful smile, Hannah. Would you like a piece of chocolate?" The little girl shook her head. "Well, thank you for answering. Maybe later for the chocolate." Before the one-sided conversation could continue, there was a knock on the door and Sara looked up to see Jackie standing there, her appearance indicating that she was headed home for the day.

"Hey," Sara said with a friendly smile.

"Hey there," the other woman said with a surprised expression. "Brass wants to see you in Grissom's office."

"Thanks. Have a good night."

"You too," the older woman said doubtfully. If her instincts were as good as she had always thought, Sara was in for quite the interesting night. Simply seeing the younger woman with a child was odd. But the way the men at the end of the corridor were acting made it much stranger.


	2. Finding a Family

Thank you so much for the reviews! It's always helpful to know when people are enjoying the story. Thanks to Juwist, csi-ds9, Denese25, Cathleen, Lyndz13, Grissomsgirl24, AngelApple1, PhDelicious, and diamond-girl-9 for reviewing. Also, to let you know, the chapters should get longer once I get rolling – I tend to be long winded. And I try not to have cliffhangers – but sometimes it's unavoidable.

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Chapter 2 Finding a Family

"Well, it looks like they want us back," Sara said with a sigh. "The big-people talk must be over. Shall we go?" She held out her hand and the little girl took it, much more quickly this time. Her grip was beginning to get weaker and Sara realized that she must be exhausted; it was doubtful, telling from the bags under her bright blue eyes, that she had recently slept. Without asking, Sara swung the little girl up onto her hip before continuing down the corridor.

Hannah must not have minded because she immediately buried her face in Sara's sweater, her fingers clasped around the older woman's neck. Upon entering Grissom's office, Sara immediately realized that something humongous had shifted. The tension was thick enough to cut with a knife and the three men looked incredibly sobered.

"Hannah," Mr. McCall said emphatically, as though she were somewhat slow. The other adults in the room were immediately offended that this man was speaking to the child with such a tone. "Hannah, pay attention." The little girl slowly turned in Sara's arms so that she was looking at the man speaking. "Hannah, Dr. Grissom here is your uncle. You'll be living with him from now on," the man said shortly. Sara sat down and tried to hide her surprise as she held the trembling little girl, whose eyes were now fixed on Grissom.

"Gil," Grissom said gruffly, "I guess you can call me Uncle Gil."

"Well, we'll leave you alone," Brass said gently. "Call Martha and me if you need anything."

"Thanks Jim." Brass and Mr. McCall exited quietly, closing the door behind them and leaving the two ladies with a very shocked Grissom.

"Hey," Sara said gently when she felt Hannah begin to sob. "Gil is a nice guy. You'll like him. He looks a little scary but he's like a big teddy bear," she assured the young girl. But Hannah continued to cry softly and Sara allowed her, simply rocking her and gently ruffling her brown curls. Grissom looked completely at a loss as he paced the length of his office, not willing to allow his eyes to come into contact with Sara's questioning gaze.

"We'll talk later," he said softly. She nodded; sighing as she hugged Hannah closer and whispered whatever reassurances came to mind. The situation was completely unreal; she hadn't known that Grissom was a brother, let alone an uncle. And now he was guardian to a tiny, fragile little soul. After the little girl calmed down and they had sat in silence for a good long time, another knock sounded at the door.

"Now what?" Sara asked in quiet frustration. Grissom shook his head, signaling for her to stay calm as he answered the door. It was Eckley, entering to see what the night shift was still doing in the building when they did not have an open case.

"We were just leaving, Eckley." After being glared at by both CSI and not given even a second's chance to inquire about the little girl, he exited the office.

"You must be tired," Sara said in a soft voice, gently rubbing Hannah's back. "You'll be okay with Gil. I promise." Despite Sara's words of reassurance, the little girl clung to her and refused to even look at her uncle. "I'll help you two get settled in, okay?" She looked at Grissom with an expression that begged for help but he was more lost than she was with the tiny child. "Hannah, do you have a coat?" She shook her head as she leaned against Sara, indicating that she didn't. Grissom helped Sara into her coat and then wrapped his around Hannah for the walk to his vehicle.

"She needs a car seat," Sara said as she buckled the belt around them both.

"We'll buy one," Grissom stated simply as he started out of the parking lot. The ride to his townhouse was silent until Sara switched on the radio and turned it to a station that was playing what seemed to be all Beatles songs. Hannah was sleeping in Sara's arms by the time they pulled into his driveway. Moving as carefully as possible, they were able to get into the house and tuck her into Grissom's bed without waking her. He pulled the blinds and closed the curtains against the morning sun while Sara surrounded the sleeping beauty with pillows.

Grissom looked at her strangely as they walked into the hallway. "She could roll," Sara said in explanation. "What in the _hell_ is going on?" Without waiting for an answer, she went into the kitchen and grabbed two glasses and a bottle of red wine. She poured while Grissom continued to pace.

"Apparently, my sister had a baby before she died."

"I didn't even know you had a sister."

"We weren't close."

"That much, I got. Where has Hannah been since she died?"

"With her father. He's not a good man, Sara. My sister was mixed up in a lot of—mistakes. She was constantly in abusive relationships. I don't personally know who Hannah's father was, but I know he was heavy into drugs."

"Was?"

"He was killed. That little girl was being raised by druggies. CYS intervened after a neighbor saw her going through a garbage can looking for food. A garbage can. Sara, that beautiful child had to fight just to get enough to eat. I can't imagine what else happened to her."

"She's here now. She's safe."

"I'm sorry you got pulled into this. I know it wasn't fair—"

"Don't worry about it."

"What did you come to see me about anyway?"

"It wasn't important," she insisted hurriedly. It seemed like her plan to resign and leave Gilbert Grissom in her past was now foiled beyond repair. She would need time to rethink the situation. "How did Hannah end up here?"

"CYS tracked me down. Since my sister wasn't married and had my last name, they were able to track me down through Hannah's birth certificate."

"I'm glad they found you. Now at least she has a chance."

"With a workaholic old bachelor who doesn't remember what day it is half the time?"

"You're not old," Sara said with a smirk. "And you don't give yourself enough credit."

"If I were half the man you thought I was—" He never finished his thought and Sara was bothered by his tone; this wasn't the time to rehash their ever-tumultuous non-relationship. It had been a long and confusing day. Adding their relationship problems to the mix would simply take her over the edge.

"I should go," Sara said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

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Thanks for reading please let me know what you think! Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates!


	3. Nightmares and Sound Sleep

Thanks so much for the reviews. I'm glad that you like the story so far. Please let me know what you think with the next update. Here's the next part, enjoy!

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Chapter 3 Nightmares and Sound Sleep

"_I should go," Sarah said, breaking the uncomfortable silence._

"Your car—"

"I'll call a cab."

"Let me call Nick or Greg—"

"They're probably sleeping. I'll be fine in a cab—" Before the conversation could continue, the otherwise silent home vibrated with the sound of a little girl's scream. They both started running at the same time but Sara reached the little girl first and saw that she was having a nightmare. Hannah was screaming and trying to fight something imaginary by kicking and flailing her arms. Sara gently crawled into the king sized bed and pulled the little girl into her arms, pinning her gently so that she couldn't hurt herself. Eventually, as Sara rocked her and soothed her cries, the little girl calmed down and her eyes flipped open, that blue gaze as soulful and knowledgeable as ever.

"It was just a dream, baby," Sara whispered softly. Hannah turned around and buried herself in Sara's arms, her sobs eventually moving into hiccup territory. "It's okay now. We're here." She was still rocking Hannah when Grissom returned from the kitchen, a glass of apple juice in his hand. He handed it to the little girl, who looked him over cautiously before accepting it. Sara helped her sip until the hiccups stopped.

"Thank you," the little girl whispered to Grissom.

"So you can talk," Sara chided with a good-natured smile. "I don't think you've been properly introduced. "Hannah Grissom, this is Gil Grissom." She continued in a whisper. "He's a good guy."

"Do you want to talk about your dream?"

"No thank you."

"Sometimes it helps."

"I don't think so," the little girl answered politely.

"Okay. I can understand that. Well, how about we get you into something better to sleep in? Does she have a bag?" The last question was directed at Grissom, who was the one who had the most information.

"Mr. McCall gave me a small bag. It's in the car."

"Well, we'll just have to look into a bubble bath while Gil goes to get your bag." Grissom tried to give Sara a look of thanks but she gave him a half smile, indicating that she didn't mind; she was just as enamored with the little girl as the little girl was with her. After Grissom left the room, Sara carried Hannah into the large bathroom and looked around.

"This is definitely a man's bathroom," Sara said with a shake of her head. Hannah almost smiled at the exasperation in the older woman's voice as she walked around in search of proper bath accoutrements. "We'll have to make our own bubble bath," she said after searching every cabinet.

"We can make bubble bath?"

"Yep," Sara said with a grin, not mentioning that this was the first sentence the girl had formed. "Wanna help?" Hannah nodded so Sara led her out into the kitchen where they located salt and an old bottle. Back in the bathroom, Sara showed Hannah how to measure the shampoo, water, and salt. They were having a lot of fun mixing by shaking the bottle when Grissom returned.

"What's going on in here?" He posed the question gently and, surprising to even herself, Hannah answered.

"We made bubbles," she said excitedly.

"I see that. What smart girls. I don't think there's anything you couldn't do."

"I don't think so either," Sara said as she reached over to tickle Hannah. The little girl giggled and they all laughed. It was a good few moments that released a lot of the earlier tension. Grissom located a nightgown in Hannah's tiny bag and Sara laid it aside after looking at it questioningly. "We'll go shopping later," she said decisively. She leaned over to run the water and she noticed that Hannah, who was standing next to her, seemed to be edging away from the tub.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Hannah didn't answer, simply continued to back away from the tub until she bumped into Grissom, who was sitting in the doorway observing. "Hannah, what's wrong?" Sara tried to take the little girl in her arms and pull her back towards the tub. Hannah refused, kicking and screaming until Sara finally gave up, turning off the water and sitting back on the tile floor in defeat. "Why no bath?"

"I'm sorry. I'll be good," the little girl said shakily.

"You're fine, sweetie. We're not mad. You're being very good," Sara assured her. "You're allowed to be afraid. Just tell me why."

"Please no," the little girl insisted, shaking her head vehemently.

"Okay," Sara assured her. "No bath. We'll find another way." Gently, she took the little girl's hand and pulled her towards the tub, which was currently filled with about an inch of water and a few bubbles. "I have you," Sara promised her. "I just want you to touch the water. Okay?" Hannah looked unconvinced but she did tentatively reach into the tub and let her hand briefly brush the water. Her other hand stayed clutched to Sara's sweater. "See? It won't hurt you. Are you sure you don't want to try?" The little girl shook her head again so Sara gave up and reached for a washcloth.

"Can we take off your dress so you can get cleaned up?" Hannah nodded, her eyes fixed on Sara's; she trusted this woman. Sara gently removed the little girl's dress and blouse and then wrapped a towel around her waist. She then wrung out the washcloth and gently washed Hannah, avoiding several suspicious and painful looking bruises. After she was dressed in her nightgown, Grissom handed her an extra toothbrush and then lifted her to the mirror so that she could see while she brushed her teeth. She did not complain when Grissom, instead of Sara, carried her into the bedroom.

"Do you think you can sleep a little longer?" Hannah answered with an involuntary yawn.

"We'll take that as a yes," Sara said with a smile. She leaned down and kissed Hannah's forehead. "Sweet dreams, baby girl."

"Sara?"

"Yep?"

"Will you stay?" So the little girl was observant enough to realize that this was not Sara's home. Sara looked uncomfortably at Grissom and bit her lip before coming up with the best possible answer.

"I'll be here when you wake up, okay?" Hannah nodded, satisfied with that answer. She snuggled into the comforter that Grissom tucked around her and had closed her eyes by the time the adults left the room.

"Keys and credit card," Sara demanded as soon as they reached the living room.

"What?"

"Your keys and your credit card," she said as she extended her hand. "I'm going to grab a few things from my place and then go shopping. She needs proper clothing for one thing. A car seat, a coat. Not to mention the fact that you probably don't have any kid-friendly food."

"Sara, you don't have to do this—" He said as he reached into his wallet and extracted a credit card and then reached for his keys.

"Like I sleep anyway," she said as she took the offered items. She started toward the door and turned back just before leaving. "Hey Griss?"

"Yeah?"

"Try not to worry too much. This will work out."

"Thanks. I needed to hear that." After an hour in Gap Kids and Carter's, Sara was pretty sure she had purchased enough to keep the little girl clothed for a year. A winter coat and shoes followed the clothes into a pile in the back of Grissom's car. A child's booster seat was purchased after that, along with several styles of childproof cups. Crystal glasses and a four year old simply did not mix. After a quick stop at her apartment to pack a bag and get a shower, Sara returned to Grissom's townhouse.

She grabbed two of the bags and let herself into the home, calling out quietly as she entered. She found her boss sitting in the hallway outside his bedroom, staring into the room.

"Still sleeping?" He nodded. "Let's talk." He followed her into the living room and they sat side by side on the sofa, staring straight ahead and remaining quiet for some time.

"Sara, I don't know what to do with this."

"You'll figure it out," she assured him.

"What if I don't?"

"Then she'll figure you out. She's a smart kid, Griss."

"Yeah, I noticed. But I don't get it. That idiot that brought her here said she was slow. He thought she should be immediately tested for autism."

"Somehow, I don't think he knew what he was talking about. She's intelligent. You don't have to spend more than five minutes with her to know that."

"But why would he suspect otherwise?"

"She wouldn't talk. He didn't understand it."

"But you did."

"Takes one to know one," Sara said simply. "She's been abused. You saw those bruises."

"Yeah. Who could do that to a little girl?"

"People are sick." It was the only explanation that she could muster; nothing else made any sense. "Did CYS give you any information? A file? Medical records?"

"Mr. McCall told me that they couldn't locate a file and they didn't have time to start one before bringing her here."

"I'll call Catherine and ask who Lindsey sees. I'll try to get an appointment for her asap."

"Sara, thank you—" She shook her head and interrupted his words.

"Here's the deal," she said firmly. "I'll help you. And you stop thanking me for the mere act of being a decent human being."

"It's a deal," he agreed. "You must be tired. You should try to get some sleep."

"I was just going suggest that. There's enough room in your bed for me. You get the couch."

"I was afraid of that." They both knew it didn't matter; neither one of them would surpass simply fulfilling the pretense of sleep. Sara changed into her pajamas and crawled into the king sized bed, being careful not to wake the peacefully sleeping Hannah. She must have actually fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, she was being watched. Normally, the feeling would have woken her up in a defensive mode but luckily she remembered where she was.


	4. New Understandings

Thanks for the reviews – it's always nice to know when people are reading and enjoying a story. The first few chapters are slow but it's going to get more interesting pretty soon. Here's the next chapter, let me know what you think!

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Chapter 4 New Understandings

Sara's eyes fluttered open slowly and she saw Hannah, lying next to her, bright blue eyes staring straight at her. "Hey there," she greeted the little girl gently. "How did you sleep?"

"No more dreams."

"Good," Sara said. "Getting hungry?"

"Not really."

"Wanna eat anyway?"

"Do I have to?"

"At least a little bit, yeah," Sara said lightly. She sat up and ran her hands through her wavy hair and grimaced when she realized that she hadn't taken the time to straighten it after her shower.

"Your hair is curly," the little girl said with a giggle.

"So is yours," Sara observed with a smile. She stretched for a minute and rolled her shoulders, trying to wake herself up; it had been the first decent sleep she'd had in a while and her body wasn't used to it. "What time is it?" She asked rhetorically as she searched the room for a clock.

"Six and a half," the little girl proclaimed proudly.

"You can read that?" Sara asked in amazement after she noticed the wall clock. Hannah nodded and Sara smiled and then laughed. "You're just full of surprises. You know, it's called six thirty."

"Because it's thirty minutes in a half?"

"Right," Sara said, her mind whirling. How could this little girl understand so much when there had been no one to teach her? "Who taught you how to read a clock?"

"The library lady."

"Did you go to the library a lot?"

"Sometimes."

"Well, let's go get something to eat." Sara offered her hand and led the little girl to the kitchen where Grissom was sitting, reading something indecipherable. "I need to call my supervisor and tell him I'll be late," she said, jokingly. "Oh! Look here. It's my boss. Griss, I'm going to be late."

"Not surprised," he said absently. He finally looked up and observed the two ladies occupying his usually empty home. Sara was standing near the counter in her flannel duck pajama pants and a blue tank top while Hannah was dressed in a nightgown that was ill made and ill fitting. Judging from the bags he had already unloaded from his car, Sara had taken care of that small problem. The child would be wearing clothes worth more money than what he paid Greg for a year of overtime. "How'd you sleep?"

"Good," Hannah said happily.

"Great," Sara answered. "Your bed is comfy, Griss."

"Why do you call him Griss?"

"It's a nickname," Sara answered. She placed Hannah in a chair at the table and started in search of food.

"There's a casserole in the oven," Grissom said while observing Sara's search. She opened the oven and looked in, then looked back at him.

"It's vegetarian."

"Well, it is supposedly my fault you can't eat meat."

"And it actually looks good."

"I do know how to cook."

"It's a good thing, because we don't," she said in an exaggerated voice with a wink to Hannah. The little girl nodded and began to squirm in her chair, looking for something to do. It was an exciting and seemingly safe new world and she wanted to see every bit of it. She settled on investigating the mystery that was Grissom.

"What are you reading?"

"A magazine," Grissom answered. Sara, who was pouring drinks and dishing out the casserole, couldn't help but smile at the confusion in his voice. He didn't know how to answer the questions of a child. They were simple questions, but the answers were not always so straightforward.

"What's it called?"

"Forensic Science Monthly."

"What's that?"

"It's what I do," Grissom answered, looking to Sara for some sort of help. She simply smiled and continued cutting Hannah's serving into more manageable pieces. She set the dishes on the table and sat down next to the little girl, waiting to hear what would come next.

"Well, what do you do?"

"He solves mysteries," Sara answered for him, after he seemed at a loss for words. She didn't want him to mention anything about the many dead bodies they dealt with; a little girl didn't need to know that much. "And apparently, he can also cook. We can be the judges of that."

"It's hot," Hannah said emphatically.

"Blow on it first," Sara suggested. The meal continued with little conversation because, despite all arguments to the contrary, they were hungry. They were almost finished when Grissom broached a subject that had been on the minds of both adults since Hannah has first appeared.

"Sara, how would you like the day off?"

"That's funny," she scoffed.

"I'm not kidding."

"I have to go to the bathroom," Hannah explained before hopping off her chair and scampering down the hall. After she was gone, Sara turned to Grissom with a glare.

"Is this a 'the-woman-should-stay-home' thing?"

"No, it's a 'she-likes-you-better-than-me' thing."

"I'll stay with her," Sara agreed after a moment of thought. "But I still require your credit card."

"I knew that was coming."

"Your bug room is going to become a little girl's bedroom."

"What about my bugs?"

"They'll have to get used to living in the basement, like normal bugs."

"Sara—"

"Gil—" The discussion went no further because Hannah returned, her eyes wide in wonder.

"Sara, where does the tub go?"

"Where does the tub go?" Sara didn't quite understand the question.

"Well, I'm off to work. Catherine is picking me up so you'll have my car. Hannah, be good for Sara. Call me if you need anything." Grissom was exiting the room before the curious child asked any more questions; he was completely overwhelmed just from sharing a meal. He was used to being alone and it was going to take him some time to get used to answering to others and planning his time around other people.

"Chicken," Sara whispered jokingly as he passed. "Have a good night," she called after him. She turned back toward the little girl and found, as usual, that Hannah was staring at her. "So, what was your question?"

"The bathtub—"

"Where does it go?" Hannah nodded. "Well, the water goes into the sewer."

"With the rats?"

"I guess there could be some rats. But only the water goes down the drain, you know that, right?"

"Molly says that anything can go down the drain and that the rats can eat you."

"No," Sara answered with a firm shake of her head.

"No?"

"Can't happen," she assured the little girl. "Only water goes down the drain. I'm a scientist. I know these things." The child still looked skeptical so Sara led her into the bathroom and sat in the dry tub, fully clothed, with a squirming Hannah in her lap. The little girl was trying desperately to jump out but Sara held on. "Sit still. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." She turned the girl so that they were facing one another and she could see those bright blue, inquisitive orbs.

"Are we going anywhere?"

"No," Hannah said slowly.

"Watch." Sara started the tap, very slowly, so that only a cup or so of water filled the end of the tub. Then she stopped the water and placed her hand over the drain while the water slowly emptied from the tub. "See? My hand is still here."

"Are all tubs like that?"

"Yes," Sara answered firmly. "There's nothing to be afraid of."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. I've been taking baths for 33 years and nothing bad has happened yet."

"Can we use the bubbles now?"

"We can use the bubbles now," Sara answered with a smile and a nod. They got out of the tub and she let it fill while she helped Hannah pick one of her outfits. The little girl was speechless at the sight of so many new clothes but eventually settled on a dark pink polo tennis dress, a white cardigan, and a pair of pink tennis shoes. After Sara threw on a pair of khakis and a black sweater, they were ready to go.


	5. New Friends and Old Fears

I wanted to thank Sharon, Elizabeth, forensicsgirl, nina90, sara, aria, ladybug07, eac-dudette, angelapple1, augusta, juwist, lin, jtbwriter, saskia2, csi-ds9, oneillite, and tarrabeena for reviewing. I really do appreciate and it does help me continue to write when I know what someone besides me is interested in the story. So, thanks! Here's the next part, hope everyone enjoys.

Also, I was wondering if Sara's decision to stay with Hannah and Grissom is believable at this point – or was it a little too quick for her to fall into the roll? Let me know what you think. Thanks!

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Chapter 5 New Friends and Old

Sara didn't think the little girl was ready for much excitement, but she did want her to get used to society at large. She imagined that Hannah hadn't seen much of the civilized world in her young life. They headed first to the build-a-bear workshop. Sara had wanted to make one since she'd first discovered the store but thought she might look ridiculous without a child. Also, she had an inkling that Hannah would love it. She was right. As soon as they entered and faced the multitude of stuffed-animal possibilities, the little girl grew very quiet as she concentrated on her decision.

"Any one?"

"Any one," Sara answered with a smile. She knelt down next to the little girl and they quietly discussed the possibilities until Hannah was struggling to decide between a brown teddy bear and a gray puppy dog.

"Is this your first time building a friend?" The sales lady asked as she came upon the two. Hannah nodded and Sara smiled in greeting at the sales girl. "Well, take all the time you need. These are special stuffed animals."

"I think the puppy," Hannah said at last.

"Wonderful choice," the sales girl acknowledged. She pulled down one of the empty puppies and pointed to the next part of the store. "If you go over there, you can stuff him."

"Her," Hannah said emphatically.

"Okay, let's go stuff her," Sara said as she took the little girl's hand. Hannah took her time picking and positioning the little cloth heart before another employee filled the puppy with just the right amount of stuffing and then sewed him shut. "What are you going to name him?"

"Griss," Hannah answered without much thought. Sara tried not to laugh but it was too funny. Not only was the dog now named after Grissom, but it was also apparently a girl dog.

"It's a good name," she assured the little girl after she regained her calm. "A very good name." They picked an outfit for the stuffed animal and took their purchases to the checkout, where Hannah was able to pick a variety of satin bows for Griss's ears.

"You daughter is beautiful," the cashier said as they watched Hannah examine of the nearby displays. Sara looked confused for a moment but then simply smiled and nodded.

"Thank you. Come on, Hannah," she called after she'd paid. The little girl scampered over and grabbed Sara's hand, waving to the sales girls while keeping Griss tucked under her arm. It took an additional hour for Hannah to pick out several books from the children's section of the humungous Barnes and Nobles. They eventually ended up with _Where the Sidewalk Ends_, a few Dr. Seuss editions, the first few books in _The Magic Treehouse_ collection, and several other books Sara picked up on a whim. She knew she was trouble in a bookstore, but she hadn't realized that she would be the same way when faced with children's books.

Back in the car, Sara was planning on heading back to Grissom's townhouse, but Hannah had other ideas. "Can we show Griss to Uncle Gil?"

"He's at work."

"Oh," Hannah answered sadly.

"I guess we could visit," Sara suggested after noticing the girl's disappointment. She turned at the next light and headed toward the lab, knowing that she would be facing a lot of odd looks by entering the place with a four year old. Parking in the closest spot available, she plucked Hannah out of her car seat and they started toward the lab. Security looked at her a bit strangely but admitted her without question. As they walked toward Grissom's office, they came across a very curious Catherine.

"Hey there," she said lightly, a smile on her face. "I thought you were off tonight."

"I am," Sara answered back "Hannah and I were just stopping by for a visit. Hannah, this is Catherine. She works with Gil and I."

"Nice to meet you, Hannah. Who's your friend?"

"This is Griss," Hannah said proudly, showing the stuffed animal to Catherine.

"Very nice," Catherine said, trying her best not to laugh. Sara avoided her eyes, knowing that if they looked at one another they would both burst into laughter. "It was nice to meet you, Hannah, have fun with Sara. Night Sara."

"Night Cath," Sara said before continuing down the hall. Luckily, Grissom was in his office when Sara and Hannah arrived. He looked up from his paperwork and smiled at the sight of the excited little girl.

"We went shopping," Hannah told him excitedly.

"Apparently Sara's good at spending my money." Sara shrugged her shoulders and plopped down on the sofa while Hannah took Griss to show her uncle. He didn't find the name as amusing as everyone else, but he wanted the little girl to be happy, so he simply went along with it. Sara flipped through a case file that has been sitting on the sofa while Grissom began to read some of _Where the Sidewalk Ends_ to Hannah, who had crawled into his lap.

"_Once I spoke the language of the flowers, Once I understood each word the caterpillar said, Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings, And shared a conversation with the housefly in my bed— _" his recitation was interrupted by a loud knock on the door.

"Hey Griss, did you forget about the meeting? Sorry," Nick said as he realized that Grissom wasn't alone in his office.

"It's alright," Grissom answered. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Hey Sara."

"Hi Nick," she answered with a smile. He walked back toward the lounge and Sara stood, reaching for the little girl. "We should probably go, baby doll."

"Sara, maybe we should introduce her around the lab. Stop the gossip before it starts."

"Grissom, the gossip has already started," she said with a smirk. "But that's probably not a bad idea. Do you want to meet the people we work with?"

"Are there lots?" Hannah asked, somewhat doubtful that she would like it at all.

"About six," Sara said as she reached out to the little girl.

"Okay." Hannah moved from Grissom's to Sara's arms, snuggling herself and Griss against the older woman's soft black sweater.

"Sounds good to me," Grissom answered, holding the door open for Sara. They walked down the hall and Hannah hid her face against Sara as they entered the room with the other CSIs. The room was silent once the three entered the room and Grissom closed the door. "You've probably noticed that there's been a little girl in the lab these past two days."

"You do pay us to be observant," Nick joked.

"I think you have a right to know what's going on. This is my niece, Hannah. She's going to be living with me from now on." Despite her earlier decision to come, Hannah was being shy and refusing to show her beautiful little face.

"It's okay," Sara whispered. "Just say hi and we'll go." Hannah slowly turned her head to look at the group of people and was slightly less intimidated when she realized that she'd already met most of them.

"Hannah, this is Nick, and Warrick—"

"Hey girl," Warrick responded with a friendly smile, causing Hannah to smile back.

"And Greg, Catherine, and Sophia." Hannah didn't smile at the last blond. In fact, she turned her face back toward Sara and laid her head down, signaling that she was done being social.

"We should go, she's getting tired," Sara said softly to Grissom. He nodded, gently ruffling Hannah's curls before leaning over to drop a kiss on the top of her head. Sara tried not to blush as he invaded her personal space but Catherine must have seen her because the older woman was looking at her knowingly as she turned to leave.

"Hey, Sara, are you on some sort of maternity leave now?" It was Greg who addressed the situation that was on everyone's mind; when would Sara be back to work. Granted, he chose words that he knew would annoy Sara.

"Greg, I'm taking a _vacation_ week," Sara said firmly but in a soft voice, glaring at him over Hannah's head. "I'll be back before you can screw up too much."

"That's what I wanted to know," Greg said lightly, smiling. Sara walked back to Grissom's office and set Hannah down on the sofa so that she could pull on her own coat.

"Are you okay?" She asked the little girl with questioning expression.

"I didn't like that lady."

"What lady?" Sara sat down next to Hannah and pulled the little girl into her lap.

"The lady with the yellow hair."

"Hannah," Sara said warningly, "Gil told you her name."

"The Sophia lady," Hannah said softly. "She wasn't nice."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know," Hannah said, her expression almost a pout. Sara could see that she was tired; that probably was the reasoning behind her irrational feelings about Sophia. Then again, she also might have picked up on Sara's and Catherine's feelings about the other woman. She was a very observant little girl and Sara realized that they were going to need to be very careful about what they divulged and how they acted when she was around.

"Well, you don't have to like her," Sara said gently. "You trust yourself if you don't think someone is a nice person. Most adults are nice people, but not everyone. Okay?"

"Why isn't everybody nice?"

"I don't know," Sara admitted softly. "Were there other people you didn't like, before today?" Hannah was quiet for a long time but she was fidgeting, playing with Sara's hair and looking like she was deep in thought. "You can tell me anything, sweetie. Gil too."

"Mr. Jack."

"Who was Mr. Jack?" Sara asked as passively as she could, not wanting to alarm Hannah into silence.

"Miss Debbie's friend."

"And Miss Debbie?"

"That's where Mr. McCall found me," Hannah answered, her eyes turning toward her lap. Sara rubbed her back and stayed silent for a few minutes, sensing that this was a difficult thing for the child to remember.

"Did Mr. Jack hurt you?"

"I didn't like him," Hannah said, her voice trembling and her eyes filling with tears. "More than anybody. I didn't like him," she repeated mournfully. "I told him no, and he didn't listen to me."

"It's okay now," Sara said in a soothing voice. "He can't hurt you anymore," she whispered as she hugged the little girl closer and continued to rub her back in gentle, reassuring circles. Sara carefully moved into a more comfortable position on the sofa and cocooned Hannah between herself and the soft black leather of the sofa back.


	6. Breakfast and Bedroom Sets

Thanks so much for letting me know what you think—and that you're liking the story. Here's the next part – enjoy (and please, continue to review – let me know what you're thinking about the story).

* * *

Chapter 6 Breakfast and Bedroom Sets

When Grissom and Nick found them and hour later, they were sound asleep, Hannah cuddled between the woman and the sofa, her face mostly buried in Sara's brown curls.

"Man, what a picture," Nick said in a low whisper. "In fact," he said with a sly grin as he pulled a camera out of his pocket, "I think I will take a picture."

"Sara's going to kill you," Grissom said absently. Nick snapped the picture anyway, never looking closely enough to see that both beautiful faces were streaked with dried tears.

"Are you going to wake them?"

"Leave them. We'll work in the break room." With that, Grissom motioned for Nick to leave the room and followed suit, closing the door and allowing the two lovely ladies to continue their sleep. He was finishing up a bit of paperwork toward the end of shift when they finally began to stir. Hannah, at least. She opened her big blue eyes and saw that Grissom was working at his desk.

"Uncle Gil, I have to use the bathroom," she said softly.

"Okay," he said softly. He stood and carefully picked her up, not wanting to wake Sara; he knew she didn't get enough sleep as it was. He took Hannah to the ladies room and stood outside to wait. Hannah was fine on her own until she realized that she couldn't reach the sink to wash her hands.

"Do you need a little help?" It was Catherine, having just exited one of the stalls. Hannah nodded shyly. "Here you go," Catherine said with a smile as she picked up the little girl and helped her wash her hands.

"Thank you," Hannah said politely.

"Any time, sweetie. Remember, I'm Catherine. You just let me know if you ever need anything, okay?"

"Okay," Hannah said with a small smile; she had found someone else that warmed her heart. It had been a mostly good two days for the little girl. By the time she got back to her uncle, he was talking to a groggy-looking Sara. The older woman was running her hand through her hair as she spoke in a hushed voice to Grissom.

"Hey baby girl," Sara said with a bright smile when she saw Hannah.

"Hi Sara."

"Did you sleep well?"

"I slept a lot today."

"That's okay, you needed it. You both did," Grissom said as he locked eyes with Sara. "So," he said, turning back to Hannah, "do you want to go out for breakfast?"

"Can Sara come?"

"If she has time," Grissom answered, not wanting to trap Sara into something she wasn't interested in. She had already spent the past two days saving him from complete ruin at the hands of a four year old.

"Sure, I'll come. As long as Gil is paying," she said playfully.

"He'll pay," Hannah answered solemnly.

"I think I'm in trouble," Grissom said with a groan. The three went back to his office and gathered their things before driving to a nearby restaurant for a nice, sit-down breakfast. They had a peaceful breakfast, Sara only slightly enraged when Hannah had never before tasted a strawberry or a piece of French toast. It was obvious that her childhood up to that point had left a lot to be desired and the two CSIs had made up their minds to change its direction. After breakfast, Sara suggested they go furniture shopping if Gil wasn't too tired. It was a popular idea and they ended up spending the morning browsing through several stores before coming across something they all loved.

The light, creamy yellow wood was perfectly cheery while being subdued and sophisticated enough that Hannah wouldn't grow out of it as she aged. The vanity had a beautiful round mirror that was etched with sunflowers in one corner. Sara insisted on the double bed, fearing that Hannah would roll out of a twin. She wasn't sure why that thought occurred to her, but it did, and Grissom didn't argue. He purchased the matching dressers, armoire, desk, nightstand, and two bookshelves to fill his spacious second bedroom. Sara also helped Hannah pick out a wicker chair in the same color with a beautiful lilac cover.

While they were on a roll, Sara suggested that they pick out the comforter and paint color. The idea didn't at first sit well with Grissom, who hadn't thought that setting up a room for Hannah would take quite so much effort. Then again, he'd never been a little girl and he had no idea what one would want. Luckily for him, Sara had been a little girl. And she was going to give Hannah everything she'd always wanted; or at least to a point – she didn't believe in spoiling children. At least not completely.

"Paint?"

"The room needs painted. And a new carpet," Sara added nonchalantly.

"Let's look then," he said, defeated. They placed the order for the furniture, which would be delivered in three days, and then continued on to the hardware store. There, Hannah quickly decided, with Sara's help, on a soft lilac-colored carpet and a similar color in wall paint that would look beautiful with the cream colored furniture. The rug would be installed the next day and the painters would arrive the day after that. By the time they finished furnishing and planning Hannah's new room, Grissom's head was spinning. He wasn't sure how he had lost control over his life, but he certainly had. It was barely lunchtime when they returned to his townhouse. Grissom started making lunch and was trying to involve Hannah, giving Sara the opportunity to make a few phone calls and schedule a doctor's appointment for the child.

Although she certainly wasn't going to like it, they needed to know that everything was all right, at least for their own peace of mind. Luckily, the doctor Lindsay usually saw had a cancellation in the mid afternoon and was willing to see Hannah. After a quiet lunch, Sara took Hannah into Grissom's bedroom and they both changed out of their slept-in clothes. Hannah watched intently as Sara took off her black and silver necklace and replaced it with a silver chain that supported a delicate purple flower that matched the color of her sweater.

Sara smiled at the little girl's attentiveness to her jewelry and rummaged through her small case for a moment before coming up with another chain. This one was a thinly braided white gold chain from which hung a delicate, brushed white-gold heart. Sara fastened it around Hannah's neck and then laughed when the little girl almost knocked her over with an unexpected bear hug.

"You keep that, okay? It's my gift to you. It'll keep you close to my heart," she whispered as she hugged the small girl.

"I love you," Hannah said warmly. She smiled brightly and ran out of the room to show Gil her new necklace.

"Love you too," Sara replied in a whisper, hurriedly wiping the tears from her eyes before joining Grissom and Hannah in the living room. Hannah wasn't quite as happy when she found out where they were headed, but she remained fairly calm as she entered the waiting room. They were called into the office fairly quickly, and greeted by a kind looking, middle-aged woman with dark hair and glasses.

"Hello Hannah," she said warmly to the little girl.

"Hi," Hannah said timidly, moving closer to Sara.

"I'm Dr. Jo." Hannah looked at her doubtfully; in her frame of reference, Joe usually referred to a boy – and she said as much. "It's short for Josephine," the doctor explained with a laugh.

"Do you think you could hop up here, so we can talk?" She patted the exam table but Hannah looked at her doubtfully again and didn't answer. Sara picked her up gently and set her on the table, sitting behind her while Grissom sat in a chair nearby. The doctor sat in a stool that put her right at Hannah's level and began asking gentle questions, trying to ascertain the child's medical history. Apparently, Hannah had never before visited a doctor. The exam went swiftly and Hannah seemed to deal well with it, only once getting upset when Dr. Jo asked her where she had gotten the scar that ran, in a jagged line, about three inches down her right hip.

"Hannah, you have been a wonderful patient. Why don't you go with Maggie and pick out a lollypop while I talk to Sara and Gil?" Hannah looked at Sara and only went with the young nurse after the older woman indicated that she should. After the little girl was out of the room, the doctor's expression changed drastically.

"When did Hannah come into your care?"

"Two days ago," Grissom answered gruffly. "We don't know a thing about her life before now."

"It wasn't good," Sara interrupted. "She told me last night that there was a man who hurt her. She didn't tell me much, but I don't have a good feeling about it. She was really upset. I didn't have a chance to talk to you about it," she said when she noticed Grissom's surprised expression.

"There are definite signs of abuse," the doctor said with a nod. "Her personality is the first indicator. She's the most serious and solemn four-year-old I've seen in years. She's carrying a lot of secrets around on those small shoulders. And that's not all. She's underweight, and well below the normal height for her age. She has never received any of the normal childhood vaccinations, so she's behind about twelve injections."

"That's not going to go over well," Sara said, clasping her hands in front of her, fidgeting worriedly.

"We won't worry about that today. She doesn't need to be afraid to come here. Perhaps we can schedule for a nurse to visit you at home and administer the vaccinations there."

"Make us the bad guys," Sara said wryly.

"She'll forgive you," the doctor answered with a good-natured smile. "It's important that she not be afraid of coming here and talking about what happened to her. I also think it's imperative that you visit a child psychologist. You can visit as a family for a while, and then possibly move her toward solo sessions. How are you related?"

"I'm her uncle. And Sara, she's a good friend. And very important to Hannah," Grissom said, before Sara could get flustered searching for an answer.

"I can see that," the doctor said with a nod. "She's a beautiful child. And I can tell you both already care for her a great deal."

"What about babysitters?" Sara asked after the conversation hit a lull.

"What about them?"

"We both work the night shift," she said with a gesture toward Gil. "But I just can't imagine leaving her with a stranger right now. She seems so fragile."

"Stick with those feelings," the doctor said gently. "It's called a mother's intuition. And you don't have to give birth to possess it," she added kindly. "You have a connection with that little girl. You'll know when the time is right for her to interact with other adults. If you have the flexibility to stay home with her during this transition time, I urge you to take it. She needs security right now more than anything else. And when you do decide she can handle being cared for by others, make certain that you trust the person. Hannah will learn to trust who you trust." Sara was slightly flustered after being complemented so intimately by a woman she barely knew. She felt Grissom's hand grasp her own trembling hands as he spoke.

"Do you have any child psychologists that you'd recommend?"

"I'll give you the number for Madeline DeMaurier. She's one of the best in the area. And I know she'll be willing to meet with you." She flipped through a filofax before writing something on her prescription pad, which she handed to Grissom.

"I'd like to see Hannah again in three months, sooner if any problems arise. And you should schedule for the nurse to visit in the next few weeks to get her started on her immunizations." Sara nodded, trying to nonchalantly wipe tears from her eyes without allowing the other two to notice.

"It's alright to be overwhelmed," Dr. Jo said kindly. "Becoming the most important person to a little girl overnight is nothing small. You two need to help one another through this as much as you need to support Hannah. This is difficult for all of you, never minimize your own feelings, it only leads to trouble."

"Thank you," Grissom said as he offered his hand. "It's been a pleasure meeting you. I can't tell you how much you've helped."

"I look forward to seeing you again. Take care. And stay for a minute, collect yourselves. Hannah will be fine with Maggie for a few minutes." She gathered her things and exited the room, leaving Grissom with a silently weeping Sara.

"Sara, it's okay," Grissom said soothingly as he reached down to hug her.

"No, it's not," she said with a sob. "She's not mine. I can't do this—"

"I'm sorry you got pulled into this. It's not fair."

"But I want it, that's the insane part," she said, baring her soul and feeling completely vulnerable.

"You're not insane. She's a beautiful little girl. And she makes anything seem possible. Even this."

"What is this?" Sara demanded, almost angrily. "Two days ago, I was ready to leave for good. And now I'm practically living in your home, sharing everything but a bed with you."

"You were going to leave?"

"It's not important," she insisted.

"Sara, it is. Your feelings are very important. And we need to talk about this—"

"But later," she said resolutely, wiping away the last tear. She pulled a compact out of her purse and a moment later, he could barely tell she had been crying. He would never understand women and their little magic tricks. When they found Hannah, she was standing in the hallway waiting patiently for them. After a light dinner, Hannah decided that she wanted to play with Griss. She carried the stuffed animal down the hall and disappeared into the bedroom, leaving Sara and Grissom with much needed time to talk.

"Sara, I don't want you to feel pressured into staying with us. But we do want you here," Grissom said slowly, choosing each word carefully.

"I just don't want to wake up one day and realize that I don't belong anywhere. I can't deal with that."

"You belong here," he said quickly, surprising them both. He drew back a bit but kept his eyes locked on hers. "I'm sorry it took something like this to make me realize how much I need you in my life. And I'm not just saying that because I'm petrified of the idea of taking care of a little girl on my own."

"How am I supposed to believe that? You asked Sophia to dinner. I've known you for almost ten years, we've been best friends, and you've never taken me to dinner."

"I did ask Sophia to dinner. As a goodbye. She's leaving the lab. I have no interest in her. And you—I'm afraid of you."'

"Afraid?" She scoffed, not at all believing his words. He nodded and took her hands, holding them gently between his own.

"Sara, there is nothing more frightening than to meet your match. A woman that could make you happy for the rest of your life. I'm a man of habit, I was afraid to let you in. Because I knew that nothing would ever be the same. And you were too important to me, I didn't want to screw things up."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." She paused, looking away for a moment as the tears began to fall. "But I believe you."

"So we're okay?"

"We will be," she answered, squeezing his hand gently.

"Sara, I want us to work."

"Then you better start buying flowers, buster," she said jokingly, pulling away in an attempt to wipe away her tears. "Seriously, Gil. If I become a part of Hannah's life now, I stay a part of her life."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Do you want me to stay home tonight, so you can go in to work?" Sara thought about it for a few minutes but eventually shook her head, her expression difficult for him to read.

"I'll stay. For right now, I think it's best. And besides, I have like 12 weeks of vacation."

"You've got 16," he said with a smirk.

"Wow."

"Yeah, you're a workaholic, Sidle."

"Look who's talking," she shot back with a smirk. "Besides, we need to get working on that room. She needs a place of her own. I guess I'll start moving the bugs—"

"Don't touch the bugs," he warned.

"Grissom, the bugs have got to go. Hannah needs her own room."

"And she'll have it," he consented. "But I'll take care of moving the pets."

"Pets are dogs, not ants."

"That's what you think," he said defensively.

"Whatever. As long as they're gone before the carpet guys come."

"Why don't you ladies drop me off a work so that you have your car?"

"Sounds good to me." Sara went into the bedroom and found Hannah sitting on the bed, talking to the stuffed dog in a singsong voice. "Hannah, we're going for a quick ride, okay?" The little girl smiled in answer and jumped down off the bed, following Sara back out into the hallway. She rode quietly in the backseat, clutching Griss and eventually falling asleep during the short drive.

"Have a good night," Grissom said, leaning over to peck her cheek before he knew what he was doing. Sara smiled and kissed him back before her expression turned into a grimace.

"This is creepily domesticated. Damn, I think I need Valium."

"You're funny," he answered with a smirk. "See you later."

* * *


	7. In Sickness

Chapter 7 In Sickness…

"G'night," she said, unable to stop the small smile that was gracing her lips. She shook her head as she pulled back out of the parking lot; this was a lot different than how she expected this week would have gone. Looking in the rearview mirror, she could see that Hannah was still sleeping so she headed straight back to Grissom's townhouse and pulled into the garage. By the time Sara got her inside, the little girl was once again awake and ready to be entertained.

"It's time for bed," Sara told her softly.

"But I'm not tired."

"I think you're more tired than you realize," Sara argued as she ruffled Hannah's curls. "We'll read first, okay? Go ahead and pick a book, I'll be right in." Sara went into the kitchen and poured a glass of wine and filled a spill-proof cup with apple juice. She sat on the bed and set her glass beside her on the nightstand along with her own book. Snuggling under a chenille blanket, she sat back and waited for Hannah to appear. Minutes later, the little girl did come bounding into the room, dressed in her pajamas, and carrying _Where the Sidewalk Ends_. She climbed up on the bed next to Sara and took the cup of juice while Sara slipped through the book to find where they had left off.

"I want to read it," Hannah said softly.

"You'll learn," Sara promised. "For tonight, I'll read. Okay?"

"Can I learn now?"

"How about you sleep now, and learn tomorrow?"

"Okay."

"Okay," Sara said with a soft smile. She put her arm around Hannah and opened the book to the next poem, which happened to be the poem that served as the name of the book.

"_There is a place where the sidewalk ends  
And before the street begins,  
And there the grass grows soft and white,  
And there the sun burns crimson bright,  
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight  
To cool in the peppermint wind._

_Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black  
And the dark street winds and bends.  
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow  
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,  
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go  
To the place where the sidewalk ends._

_Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,  
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,  
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know  
The place where the sidewalk ends. "_

_"_What's crimson?"

"A shade of redish pink. Like the color you see when the sun sets over the desert."

"That's pretty."

"Yep." Sara closed the book and put it on the nightstand.

"Why do the kids want the sidewalk to end?"

"I think because if gives them a place to play, a place where they can have fun without the craziness of the adult world."

"Did you ever find it?"

"I don't think I did," Sara said sadly.

"Can I find it?"

"Yes," she said resolutely. "But right now, it's time for bed."

"Sara—" Hannah whined softly.

"Hannah," Sara whined back mockingly. She smiled and helped the little girl under the covers. "It's time for bed." She leaned over and kissed the girl's forehead. "Now close your eyes." Hannah obediently closed them, only to peak out underneath her lashes a second later. "Hannah," Sara said in a soft warning tone. The little girl understood the tone and immediately stopped playing; she closed her eyes and rolled onto her side, hugging Griss closely. Sara brushed a lock of brown hair from her forehead and whispered, "I love you."

"Love you too," Hannah said with a giggle.

"Good night," Sara said firmly as she walked to the door, wine glass and book in hand. She couldn't quite stop smiling though as she walked down the hall and sat down in the living room. Curling onto the sofa, she settled in to read about new techniques in forensic identification. After reading the same paragraph several times, she gave up and got herself ready for bed, joining Hannah and falling into a deep sleep for the first time in months.

She was frightened when she woke to the sound of more than one voice. Hannah was still sleeping peacefully so she crept over to her purse and located her gun, tucking it into the waistband of her pajamas before carefully making her way to the door. She sighed with relief when she realized that at least two of the voices belonged to Nick and Greg. Hiding the gun back in her purse, she quietly opened the door and stepped out into the hallway.

Greg whistled when he saw her. "Now, there's a woman. Ducky pajamas. I like."

"Shut up Greg, I've got a gun."

"Even sexier," he said jokingly as he and Nick passed Sara carrying a large aquarium filled with some type of spider.

"What's going on?" Her voice was still groggy and she hadn't even thought about her hair until that moment. She ran her hands through the mass of brown curls but knew it wasn't going to help matters much.

"Grissom has used his power for evil," Warrick said with a smile, as he stood in the doorway of the second bedroom.

"He's making you guys move the bugs," Sara said with a laugh. She felt the door open behind her and turned around to see Hannah, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "Hey, Hannah. Good Morning. You remember Warrick. Nick and Greg are here too. They're helping Gil move things."

"Okay," the little girl said quietly, not looking up at anyone.

"You okay?" Sara picked her up without waiting for an answer and her heart dropped when she realized that the little girl was radiating with heat. "Hey Rick, tell Gil to come in here," she said softly. She carried Hannah back to bed and laid her there for a minute while she went to the bathroom and located a rag that she drenched in cold water and then wrung out.

"Does anything hurt?"

"My head," Hannah said softly, her throat apparently scratchy. She allowed her head to fall into Sara's lap and she curled up, not apparently interested in doing anything besides sleeping. Sara dabbed the cold cloth on her warm neck and then laid it over her forehead, trying to help sooth away some of the heat. "It pounds. Make it stop."

"I'm sorry, baby doll. I'll see what we can do." Then, Grissom walked in, a concerned expression fixed in place.

"What's going on in here?"

"Someone has a flu," Sara said gently. Grissom sat on the bed next to Sara and reached over to feel Hannah's forehead.

"Well, that's not good, sweetie. What hurts?"

"My head," Hannah repeated, more pitifully this time.

"Well, try to sleep. I'll go find something to fix you right up."

"No aspirin," Sara warned as he stood up.

"I think I can remember that," she said with a nod. He knew as well as she did, if not more, that children weren't supposed to be given anything with aspirin when they had high fevers. "Do you need anything?"

"More juice for Hannah. And maybe ice cream," she added in a whisper.

"Chocolate," Hannah said, her eyes still closed.

"I think you'll be just fine, kid," Grissom said with a laugh. "I'll be right back." He left for the store and after Hannah fell back to sleep, Sara made her way to the kitchen and started making breakfast. After a few minutes, the three coworkers were drawn to the kitchen by the smell of maple syrup and orange juice.

"Sara, I didn't think you could cook."

"I can," she said flatly. "I just don't. There's a difference," she said as she set two plates on the table.

"So, Sar, what's going on here?" Nick posed his question as he wrapped his arms around her from behind, hugging his good friend.

"What are you talking about?"

"Sara, this is insane. You've moved in and started playing house with Grissom. Are you sure about what you're doing?"

"As sure as I'm going to get," Sara answered, biting her lip in thought. "As much as it makes me nervous to start down this road with Gil, that little girl needs us both."

"She couldn't have been luckier in finding new guardians."

"Yeah," Sara scoffed. "Two workaholic geniuses who lack people skills."

"Hey, you've got friends," Warrick insisted.

"And you haven't worked since that little angel showed up at the lab," Nick added.

"It just doesn't feel like enough," Sara admitted.

"Give yourself a break," Nick said with a sigh. "You're a good person, Sara. And that little girl loves you already. You'll be fine."

"Sara, I think the kid is throwing up," Greg said in an alarmed voice from down the hall.

"Greg, you've seen worse," she scolded as she rushed past him and into the bathroom. Sure enough, Hannah was sitting in front of the toilet, throwing up the little bit she had eaten for dinner the night before. Sara pulled back her long brown hair and secured it with a plastic hair clip that she had left on the bathroom counter. Sitting behind the little girl, she held her while she continued to throw up.

"It's okay, try to calm down," she said in a soothing voice as she reached for a cup to fill with water. Hannah has stopped throwing up but she was still retching, her tiny frame heaving as she tried to stop her body from betraying her. "Try to take little breaths," Sara suggested calmly, rubbing the little girl's back. After she finally stopped, she burst into tears, sobbing hysterically, upset over what had just occurred.

"Sweetie, it's okay," Sara said softly. She helped Hannah wipe her mouth and take a few small sips of water. "Shhh," she cooed. "It's okay. Do you want to go back to bed?" Hannah shook her head, snuggled against Sara, and seemed to settle into place.

"Do you think you're going to get sick again?" A nod. "Okay, just try to stay calm, okay? Take little breaths, that helps." Hannah burrowed into Sara, closing her eyes but remaining rigid and at the ready. When she started to gag again, Sara kept her in her lap and gently held the pressure points on the inside of Hannah's left wrist. To the surprise of both, it stopped the stomach contractions and Hannah started breathing normally again.

"How did you do that?" Hannah asked weakly.

"I don't know," Sara admitted in a whisper. She and Hannah were still sitting on the bathroom floor when Grissom returned with the fever medication. He crouched down next to them and gave Hannah a sympathetic half-smile.

"Not feeling so good, sweetie?" Hannah shook her head, but smiled a little bit as she spoke.

"Sara knows magic," she informed him.

"Pressure points," Sara whispered when Grissom looked at her suspiciously. He nodded, understanding what the little girl meant. "Hannah, do you think you're ready to get back in bed? We'll get a bucket to put in there in case you get sick again."

"Okay," the little girl said with a tiny sigh. She pulled her arms around Sara's neck but it was Grissom who lifted her up and then offered his hand to Sara to help her up off the bathroom tile. "I'm sorry," Hannah said weakly as they walked into the bedroom.

"You don't have to be sorry," Sara assured her. "You don't feel good, you can't help it."

"Miss Debbie got mad if I got sick."

"Well, Sara and I are not Miss Debbie," Grissom said firmly. Before he could tuck the little girl back into bed, Sara stopped him, picking out a fresh nightgown.

"You might feel better if you change," she suggested. She and Grissom helped the weak Hannah change into a new, soft cotton nightgown and then tucked her in under the warm covers.

"Too hot," Hannah moaned crossly as she kicked the covers off.

"At least keep the sheet," Sara said as gently pulled it back up over the girl. The four year old was sleeping fitfully within minutes and Sara laid down, exhausted, at the end of the bed.

"Not in here," Grissom said gruffly, as he picked Sara up, "you'll get sick too."

"Put me down," she said faintly, "the guys—"

"Will have something to take back to the henhouse," Grissom said with a chuckle. He carried her into the living room and laid her down on the sofa, tucking a flannel blanket around her before turning back to his colleagues. "We need to get those bugs moved. Sara won't appreciate you three being here when she gets sick."

"You think she will?"

"She's spent the past 48 solid hours with a little girl who now has the stomach flu. I don't think there's a way she wouldn't have gotten it," Grissom answered in a matter-of-fact tone. The four men finished their work and Nick even helped with the dishes before leaving. About two hours after they left, Sara woke up with a start and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door in his face. He waited a moment and entered anyway, kneeling behind her and holding her hair while she relinquished the contents of her stomach. After she finished, she laid her head wearily on the bathtub.

"This is not funny," she snapped when she saw the smirk on his face.

"I know, honey, I'm sorry. But you're not the cheeriest patient."

"This is humiliating. I haven't had the stomach flu since I was five. And now I get sick on your bathroom floor."

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"You're such a man."

"I think I'll take that as a compliment."

"You would."

"Come on, honey, you should be in bed."

"This is your fault," she said wearily as he picked her up.

"How?"

"I don't know," she whined. "But it is."

"Go to sleep, Sara." He tucked her into bed and checked on Hannah, whose fever was completely broken and falling. He hoped that Sara would recover as quickly; she wouldn't be nearly as cooperative as the four year old.


	8. A Date on the Horizon

I wanted to thank everyone for the reviews – I really do appreciate it. I'm always trying to improve my writing and my plot lines, and so I'm always open for suggestions and constructive criticism. It's always nice to know that others are enjoying a story that I'm working on – so please keep up the reviews.

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Chapter 8 A Date on the Horizon

The next two days passed quickly for Grissom since he spent most of it taking care of his two very sick girls. He was forced to call off work for both himself and Sara in order to stay home with the two ladies. To make matters more complicated, the painters and the carpet layers showed up and he had no idea what to do with them; he was terrified that they would make too much noise and wake Sara and Hannah. But by the end of the week, the bedroom looked like a little girl's dreamscape and his two girls were sitting on the sofa, watching a _Peter Pan_ marathon. _Peter Pan, Hook, and Finding Neverland_. If Grissom never heard of another boy named Peter, it would be too soon. But Hannah was enchanted with the stories and Sara seemed happy too, not fidgeting nearly as much as usual.

Grissom was giving Hannah her bath and Sara was nodding off on the sofa when the telephone rang. She picked it up wearily and answered.

"Sara?"

"Hi Catherine. How are you?"

"Better than you, I hear."

"Eh, just a little flu bug. I feel much better today."

"You're an awful liar. What can I do?"

"I need to get out of this house." She wasn't sure why she said it; she still didn't feel great, but she was also growing increasingly restless. She hadn't been in a situation before where she was made to rest while sick; usually she kept going until it got bad enough that she simply collapsed and slept off the cold or flu.

"Done."

"What? No, Cath, I can't go anywhere—"

"Yes, you can. Lindsay and I are coming over to stay with Hannah and you and Grissom are going out. We'll be there in half an hour." Before Sara could argue further, Catherine had disconnected their call.

"Gil! Gilbert! Gilbert Grissom!"

"Yes, Sara?" He appeared in the living room, drying his hands on a towel, and not looking terribly pleased at being bellowed for.

"Sorry. But I'm tired," she said pitifully.

"I know, sweetheart," he said as his expression softened a bit, "what is it?"

"Catherine has this crazy idea that we need to get out. So she's coming over to stay with Hannah."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Uh, nowhere," Sara said with a shake of her head and a shrug of her shoulders.

"She's right. You need to get out. Get dressed," he said as he tugged the fleece blanket away from her.

"Hey! I don't want to go."

"Sara Jane Sidle, get dressed. We're going out."

"You did not just use my middle name," she said, astonished, her eyes narrowing in disbelief.

"And I'll use it again. Now get dressed and be ready in twenty minutes."

"I don't like you," she whined as she stood up and made her way to the bathroom.

"Well, I love you. I suppose that will be enough." His words were accompanied by an amused laugh as Sara locked herself into the bathroom. She appeared, exactly thirty minutes later, to a living room full of onlookers. Grissom smiled when he saw her trademark smirk as she waltzed in, looking better than she had in days. She was dressed in a simple ensemble of well-fitted jeans, black boots, and a thin, dark pink sweater, and she had complemented the outfit with just the right amount of jewelry to make it look incredibly classy. He also appreciated the fact that she had decided to allow her curls to dry into their natural, loose locks.

"Hi Sara," Catherine said with a smile and a playful wink.

"Hey, Cath, Lindsey. How are you guys?"

"Good," Lindsay chirped, not looking up from her video game.

"Excuse her, she was raised in a strip club," Catherine added sarcastically.

"I answered," Lindsay remarked snidely.

"Yeah, I guess you did. Well, where are you guys going tonight?"

"It's a surprise," Grissom said before Sara could answer.

"Why are you here?" Hannah's question wasn't rude, simply curious. She made her way across the room to Sara and slipped her hand into the older woman's. Catherine tried not to laugh; this kid was going to be a handful – she knew how to use her cuteness all too well.

Grissom gave the honest explanation a shot but when he was finished speaking, Hannah was convinced that they were leaving her and had started crying. Sara knelt down next to her and hugged her, assuring the little girl that they would never do such a thing. "Hannah, sweetie, we'll be here when you wake up in the morning. We're just going to do some grownup things, so you're going to stay here with Catherine and Lindsay."

"You'll be back?"

"We'll be back," Sara assured her. "And tomorrow—"

"We get to finish my room," Hannah said with an excited smile.

"We're going to finish your room," Sarah agreed with a nod. "But tonight, you can have fun with Catherine and Lindsay and then we'll be here when you wake up."

"Do you have to go?" Sara didn't answer right away and Catherine could tell she was wavering. Therefore, she was making wild gestures behind Hannah, indicating that they needed to go.

"Yeah, we do," Sara finally answered. "But I promise. We'll be back."

"Promise?"

"Promise," she repeated, hugging the little girl and then dropping a kiss on her cheek.

"You too?" Hannah looked up at Grissom as she posed the question, who in turn picked her up into a hug.

"I promise too. We'll be back before you know it." He kissed her as well, setting down next to Lindsay. "You be good for Catherine." Hannah nodded solemnly and watched the three adults walk toward the door. Sara kept looking back at the two little girls, squinting her eyes in thought.

"If you don't go now, you won't have a life until she goes to college," Catherine whispered softly. "Go, enjoy yourself. Make Gil work for this beautiful newfound family of his."

"I'll see what I can do," Sara said, smiling a bit. "Thanks Cath."

"Anytime. Now go," she said, shooing them both out and locking the doors afterward before going back up to the living room.

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Thanks to the following people for reviews of the last few chapters – I really appreciate and enjoy your feedback!

kendra is cheese, MissJorja17, heartcat, Christiangirl, saskia2, ToMyGrave, Natasha, Lin, Mooch, Ms. Elizabeth Granger, palephoenix, Magick, jtbwriter, LadyBelle84, smrozier, The Pink Lemming, eac-dudette, freakytiki05, djkittycat, forensicsgirl, Mandy, diamond-girl-9, wanda57, Augusta, csibugman, Chicklit, Stephenie, wp1fan, SpectralLady, Elizabeth Kelly, candaceFABULOUS, Buzzy, csi-ds9, Sam, kk, Denese25, dew2adidas, Ladybug07


	9. Families, Friends, and Parties

Thanks so much for the reviews! I really do appreciate it – and it's helpful to the writing process. In this chapter, Brass is mentioned – and he has a wife. I realize that he is divorced on the show, but I didn't remember that until just now. So, for the purpose of my story, he's happily married. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter – let me know what you think!

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Chapter 10 Families, Friends, and Parties

The car ride was silent after Sara asked where they were going and he replied cryptically. He allowed only that it was surprise – one that wouldn't require too much energy. Sara smiled and laid her head against the seat; it was good their outing didn't require energy – she didn't have any. After a few minutes in the car, she was sleeping lightly, only to be woken when he stopped his car. "We're here," he said softly, opening his door and handing his keys to a man waiting outside. Sara looked around in confusion, having lost her sense of direction while sleeping.

"Where is here?" She asked as Grissom opened her door and helped her out into the night air. They were still near the strip – she could tell that they hadn't gone far and were not out of the city. Grissom didn't answer her; he simply too her hand and led her into the mostly dark building, pulling a key from his pocket. "Where are we?"

"You'll see." It was all he would say as he led Sara into the dim doorway and down a dark hall. It wasn't until they were inside the building that she noticed he was carrying something in his other hand. She didn't have time to ask before he stopped abruptly and asked her to close her eyes.

"Gil,' she said, somewhat frustrated.

"Just close your eyes," he insisted softly. She did, groaning a bit and shaking her head. It was dark; she couldn't see anyway. She heard a light switch on and then felt Grissom lead her through one more doorway. When she opened her eyes, tears sprang to them. Before them, sprawling for as far as she could see, was a beautiful and blossoming indoor garden.

"Where are we?" By the time she had finally gotten the question out, Grissom was leading her down a faux stone pathway, toward a little clearing, complete with grass and a perimeter of wild flowers.

"The largest non-commercial indoor garden in the country. I have a friend who owns the hotel. He used to bring his wife here while they were dating. Said that if I ever wanted it—" His voice became quieter as he tilted Sara's chin so that their eyes met. "This is the first time I've found someone I wanted to share this with." Sara's tears continued to fall and she shook her head, attempting to turn and wipe them away. Grissom held her close and used his thumbs to gently brush them aside.

"Don't cry. We don't have to stay—"

"No!" She said quickly, her voice shaking. "I love it. I'm just a little emotional."

"It's probably not fair to surprise you while you still have a fever," he admitted. She shook her head and leaned against him, already exhausted from the thoughts that were rushing through her head. This was really happening. Her relationship with Grissom was falling into place; just as she always had hoped it wood. But it seemed far too easy. Pushing the negative thoughts aside, she fought to concentrate on him as he moved away to do something. Before she knew it, there was a blanket spread on the grass and he was pulling things out of a picnic basket.

"When did you have time to plan this?" She sat down slowly, trying to remain as confident in her movements as possible; she didn't want Grissom to worry and hurry her home.

"I have my secrets." Sitting down next to her, he positioned her so that she could lean against him and save some of the precious energy she had exhausted while sick. They ate a quiet picnic dinner, talking of irrelevant things and filling each other in on their most recent reads.

"Do you remember how we met?" It was Sara who posed the possibly dangerous question. Luckily, Grissom could never have forgotten.

"I believe you almost ran me over before one of my seminars at Berkley," Grissom said with a smirk.

"You were in the way," Sara assured him. "And I had plenty of time to stop. Besides, I was running late."

"So was I. Hence the hurrying through the parking lot."

"Well, I'm glad I didn't hit you. You were the only speaker worth hearing that semester." They evening continued on quickly, the two mostly conversing about their past and avoiding the topic of their semi-chaotic present.

When they returned from their date, Sara and Grissom separated in the living room after speaking with Catherine, she going toward the bedroom and he staying to help Catherine get a sleeping Lindsay out to the car. Sara entered the bedroom and began to undress, pulling on a pair of pajamas before going into the bathroom. The lamp beside the bed was on, which was not strange considering Hannah didn't like going to sleep in the dark. When she crawled under the covers and opened her book, she realized for the first time that the little girl was not actually sleeping. "Hi there," Sara said softly, setting the book aside. "I know you're not sleeping," she said after Hannah didn't answer.

"I tried."

"Catherine put you to bed two hours ago. Why couldn't you sleep?"

"I had bad thoughts."

"What do you mean?"

"You were gone so long. I thought something bad happened."

"Baby, we told you we would be gone for a while. Sometimes we have to go places and you can't always come. But we'll always come back. You don't need to worry about that. Close your eyes," Sara said gently. "We're home now. Go to sleep." Hannah did close her eyes, but she never slept that night. Sara continued to read her book, but every once in a while she saw Hannah's eyes peak open. The little girl finally fell off to sleep some time around five in the morning and Sara went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee; it was going to be a long day.

Their day was spent working on Hannah's new room – it needed to be completely finished in time for the small party they were throwing in two weeks. Sara had convinced Grissom to host an "open room" to introduce the little girl to their friends. Although Hannah had been flourishing with the two of them, she was still painfully shy and reserved around other people. Sara thought that having her introduced to people in a setting where she was comfortable might help. They spent the next day finishing little details; Sarah painted sunflowers in various places around the room while Grissom hung the creamy yellow lace curtains and finished installing the light fixtures. Hannah 'helped' whenever possible. Sara finally decided to put her in one of Grissom's old t-shirts and let her paint a little table and chair set that they had found and put into the corner of the room. It was actually a very nice job for the artwork of a four year old.

On the day of the party, they slept fairly late, waking up just in time to start decorating and cooking for their guests. Although Sara normally chose not to cook, she was looking forward to making party food; Grissom had already promised to do the dishes. She was in the kitchen only for a moment when Hannah appeared, a concerned expression on her face. She had only been alone in her room for about five minutes when she realized that Sara had left. The expression of worry was quickly replaced by a smile when Sara told her she could help with the hors d'oeuvres. After everything in the kitchen and living room was ready, Sara went into the room to change for the party. She pulled a skirt and a blouse out of her bag only to turn around and find Hannah, standing directly behind her.

"Hannah, go pick out something to wear tonight. I'll be over in a minute." She went into the bathroom, expecting that the little girl would do as she was asked. Instead, Sara opened the door ten minutes later to find Hannah sitting on the floor outside the bathroom. "What's going on with you?" She posed the question as she stooped down and picked up the little girl, carrying her into the next bedroom, "are you my shadow today?" Hannah giggled, but Sara couldn't help but worry at the strange behavior. They decided on a lavender flowered chiffon skirt with a soft, lavender wrap sweater that was embroidered with little matching flowers at the neck. A pair of white lace-edged socks and white ballet flats later, Hannah was ready.

Greg was the first to arrive, carrying a large box that he apparently gift-wrapped himself. Sara invited him in and then scolded him for bringing a gift.

"Greg, you didn't have to do that."

"The way I figure it, I missed four birthdays. I'm just making up for lost time."

"That's really sweet," Sara said with a smile as she leaned over to peck him on the cheek.

"Cheating on me already? I'm hurt," Grissom said jokingly as he appeared in the hall, Hannah in his arms.

"She's gotten tired waiting for you, old man," Greg teased back. He turned his attention to the little girl and flashed her a friendly smile. "It's nice to see you again, Miss Hannah."

"Hannah, you remember Greg," Sara prompted gently. Hannah nodded shyly and tightened her hold around Grissom's neck, indicating that she wasn't getting down; she wasn't sure yet that she liked the idea of strangers in the house. "Let's go to the living room," Sara suggested, moving that way. "Hannah, Greg brought something for you." Greg indicated the box with a smile, sitting it on the floor next to the coffee table.

"For you, my lady," he said with an exaggerated bow. Hannah giggled and then wiggled a bit, a sign for Grissom to put her down.

"Thank you," she said shyly as she moved toward the box. She looked up at Grissom and then Sara for permission. They both nodded, smiling widely as she began to rip open the paper. Grissom leaned close to Greg and said,

"You do realize, if this is a dog, I'm firing you." Greg gulped, but smiled when he saw Hannah's face as she opened the new toy. It was a beautiful set of little hand carved wooden dolls and a few sets of perfectly sized doll furniture.

"Good choice," Grissom whispered.

"Thank you!" Hannah said with a bright smile. Sara sat down next to her and carefully examined the well-made pieces.

"Greg," she asked with a growing smile, "did you make these?"

"I had help," he said with a shrug.

"They're beautiful," she said meaningfully. Hannah jumped up and said,

"They can live in my new room!" With that, she took the dolls and furniture and sped off to her room, leaving the three adults laughing and smiling happily after her.

"The kid's cute," Greg complimented. "She really likes you guys." There was a pause. "Are you sure she's normal?"

"Funny," Sara said dryly, smacking him lightly. She stood up and walked toward Hannah's room, the two men following her.

"Wow." That was all Greg could say when he saw the magnificent room that had been pulled together in such a short time. Hannah was sitting at the desk, arranging the furniture into a type of house for the dolls. Sara sat on the bed to watch while Grissom proudly explained the room to Greg; apparently he was very happy with his newfound carpentry skills. Not long after, the doorbell rang again. The party moved into the living room and everyone was snacking and talking while Hannah sat close to Sara, her fingers latched around the belt of the older woman's black skirt.

The next time the doorbell rang; it was Nick, David, and Warrick, having quite the difficult time maneuvering into the door of the house. Sara stood up and swung Hannah onto her hip before going into the hall to observe what was happening. "What did you do?" She posed the rhetorical question with a laugh as she watched them try to fit a humungous dollhouse through the front door.

"Hannah, this is for you," Warrick said with a smile.

"Yeah, we thought a new room deserved a new dollhouse," Nick added with a smile.

"Well, take it straight there. Because I don't think there's enough room in here," Grissom told them. Warrick and Nick maneuvered it into the little girl's room and set it on the floor in an empty corner. Hannah shyly thanked them all, and Greg again. She was excited and wanted to play with it, but not until Sara came with her. She pulled the older woman along and worriedly looked around when Sara stood up again. The evening went quickly and toward the end of it, they were all tired, especially Sara. Her hip ached from carrying Hannah around everywhere; the little girl had been more clingy than usual. The little girl did go to Catherine for a while, giving Sara time to talk to some of the other party guests. Jim Brass approached her and surprised her by hugging her and giving her a peck of the cheek.

"You look good, Sara."

"Thank you," she said, her smile causing her eyes to sparkle. "I broke out the dressy clothes. Even a skirt," she said as she fingered the hem, "I don't wear them often."

"Well, if I weren't married, I'd tell you that you should."

"Why thank you, Brass."

"You seem comfortable here. I'm glad. I'm happy that you and Grissom finally got some common sense."

"We're not that serious," Sara claimed.

"Sara, I haven't seen either one of you this happy—ever. And that little girl, her smile can light up a room. If I didn't know better, I'd think she was actually yours."

"I'll take that as a compliment," she said warmly. "And thank you, for your support. I don't know where this relationship is going, but I really want it to work."

"Then it will. And it couldn't have happened to two better people. You both deserve to be happy."

"About work—"

"Don't even think about it. You have more vacation accrued than anyone in the department. Or the city, actually," he added with a laugh, "so use it."

"I was actually talking about me and Grissom," she said slowly.

"Ah," Brass said, nodding as he realized what she was getting at. "Don't worry about that either. I'll talk to Catherine. You and Warrick can switch teams, then Gil won't be your immediate supervisor. Otherwise, there are no problems."

"Thank you, Brass. You're a good friend." She hugged him again and they talked for a few more minutes before Hannah tracked her down, almost frantic from the few minutes she had lost sight of both Gil and Sara.


	10. Terrors and Tantrums, Day and Night

Hi Everyone! Thanks so much for reviewing! I'll warn you – I'm feeling extremely hyper today (it's the looming graduation --senioritis seems to beworse the second time around -- college this time)– so please excuse the silliness and long-windedness of both the chapter and the thank-yous that follow.

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Chapter 10 Terrors and Tantrums, Day and Night 

After dessert, the party died down pretty quickly and their friends began to head home. It was after ten by the time Sara had given Hannah a bath and gotten her ready for bed. Grissom was sitting on Hannah's bed, _Little House on the Prairie_ in hand. The entire set of Little House books, several Madeline books, the entire Dr. Seuss collection, and a good number of Magic School Bus books, had been a present to Hannah from Brass and his wife as a 'room-warming' gift. Grissom had thanked them, teasingly complaining that now he would have to build more bookshelves. Hannah crawled up on the bed next to him and settled under the covers to listen to the story while Sara stood in the doorway, watching for a moment and then turning to leave.

"Sara," Hannah called in concern.

"I'm still here, baby. Gil is reading to you," Sara said simply.

"You too," Hannah said, emphasizing it by inching over to make more room for Sara.

"Sara might have other things to do, sweetheart."

"Oh, who are we kidding?" Sara asked as she stepped into the room and threw her arms up in mock frustration. "I have no life." She shook her head and smiled happily as she snuggled under the covers with Hannah and settled in to listen to the first chapter in the life of Laura Ingalls Wilder. After Grissom finished, Hannah of course wanted one more chapter. Just one more chapter.

"No more, bug," Grissom said firmly. "We'll read more tomorrow."

"But I want to know what happens," Hannah whined.

"Hannah, it's time for bed," Sara said, almost sternly.

"I don't want to—"

"But it's time," Grissom argued as he leaned down to hug her. "Good night, don't let the bed bugs bite."

"No bed."

"Good night," Sara said, ignoring the child's protests. She tried to hug her but when Hannah almost kicked her in an attempt to squirm away, Sara calmly stood up and exited the room, turning the light out and preparing to close the door.

"I hate you!" Hannah got the words out just before Sara closed the newly painted lavender door.

"That's okay. I love you enough for both of us," Sara replied calmly before stepping into the hallway and closing the door.

"She doesn't mean that," Grissom said softly as they stood in the hallway listening to Hannah cry mournfully.

"I know," Sara said sadly. They sat together in the living room, reading different books and sipping red wine while both thinking about the little girl who was still crying in her brand new bedroom. But they knew that there was nothing wrong; she simply did not want to go to bed and she had to learn that they were the bosses. A house run by a four year old wouldn't hold up very well. About half an hour after the fiasco, Sara and Grissom looked up because they heard the door open quietly. A minute later, Hannah appeared in the doorway, tiptoeing in her bare feet and warm cotton nightgown. Sara removed her glasses and set her book aside, waiting to see what the little girl was going to do. Grissom set his book aside as well and cleared his throat.

"I'm not supposed to be awake," Hannah whispered.

"No, I don't believe you are," Grissom answered calmly.

"I'm sorry," she said mournfully, her eyes cast to the floor. "I don't hate you. I love you too."

"We kinda knew that. But I'm always happy to hear it," Sara said gently. "But you have to remember, Hannah, when it's time for bed, it's time for bed."

"Okay."

"Okay." Sara hugged her closely and snuggled with her for a minute before Grissom spoke.

"Well, I think it's time for bed then," Grissom said, peering over his glasses at the little girl.

"I can't go to bed."

"Hannah, we just talked about this," Sara said warningly.

"I want to go to bed. But I can't."

"Well, why not?"

"The monsters might eat me."

"There are no monsters," Grissom said in a matter-of-fact fashion. He stood up and swung Hannah up into his arms before walking down the hall to her bedroom. Switching on the light, he carefully looked through every little corner and found that there were indeed no monsters. Sara stood in the doorway, watching the entire scene with a smile; she had never imagined that Grissom would be so good with a child, especially so quickly. After Hannah was back in bed, Grissom returned to the living room, where Sara was again reading her book, but he noticed that she was still at the beginning; apparently, her concentration was waning. The rest of the night was uneventful, as were the few days that followed. Hannah seemed to be doing well until later in that week, when Sara decided that it was time for her to go back home.

Grissom had just tucked Hannah into bed and returned to the living room to find Sara gathering the things that she had scattered around the room in the time she had been there.

"Going somewhere?"

"I should get home," Sara said nonchalantly. "I think it's safe to say she's settled in now. Don't worry," she added when she noticed his horrified expression. "I'll come back before shift tomorrow. I'll stay with her a few more days, until you find a sitter."

"You could always stay here—"

"This relationship is weird enough as it is," Sara commented with a smirk. "Something things need to be normal. Like me living in my apartment. And you living in yours."

"I guess you'll be glad to get back to your place."

Sara shrugged and said, "your apartment is nice. But I do need to get back."

'It's late."

"I'm a big girl Grissom. Besides," she added with a smirk, "we work at night. This is like morning to us."

"I'll help you with your bags—"

"Bag," Sara corrected him. "And I've got it. I'll call to say good morning to Hannah. She doesn't like to eat breakfast right away, but make sure she eats."

"I think I've got it," Grissom said, slightly amused. Sara spoke as though she had been doing this for 10 years instead of a few weeks.

"Sorry, I just worry—"

"It's okay. I guess I'm not the best candidate to raise a four year old girl."

"You're great with her. You two are going to be just fine. I'll see you later."

"Good night, Sara." He hugged her and kissed her gently; they were still getting used to the relationship and they still weren't completely sure what they were doing; especially since there was a child involved.

"G'night," she said before walking out the door and down to his driveway where her SUV had been parked. Grissom watched her leave and then closed and locked the door, all the while trying to shake the numbness that had fallen over him. Going into the bathroom, he noticed that she had left her toothpaste on the counter, her shampoo in the shower. He got ready for bed and got under his own blankets for the first time in over a week. As he settled in to read, he realized that his sheets smelled faintly of lilac; the shampoo that Sara had used both for herself and Hannah. Not much sleep came to Grissom that night as his mind swarmed with thoughts of the chaotic past week.

He must have fallen asleep at some point because he woke up the next morning thinking that he was having a heart attack. Once he opened his eyes, he realized that a teary-eyed Hannah was sitting on his chest. "You have to wake up. Someone stole Sara," she said mournfully. Grissom tried not to laugh; after all, the little girl was terribly upset.

"Hannah, no one stole Sara. She went home."

"Why?"

"Because she lives there," Grissom said patiently, shifting Hannah so that he could sit up. "Sara was just staying here for a few days until you got settled in. I think you knew that, sweetheart." Hannah didn't answer, her eyes simply started welling up again and she started sobbing with the appropriate accompanying wails. "Hannah, you can't be upset with Sara. She has her own life. You need to stop crying. Hannah, please." She was still crying, quite actively, when the phone rang half an hour later. Grissom was trying to get himself up and moving but that was difficult with the incessant wailing coming from his bedroom. Going into the living room, he picked up his phone and saw that it was Sara.

"Thank God," he said, before even greeting her.

"Hello to you too."

"Sorry, it's been a trying morning."

"Yeah, I can hear that. What's going on? Is that Hannah?"

"Yes. Your little angel has turned into a demon overnight," he hissed quietly, sure that the child couldn't hear him over her own tantrum.

"Gil!"

"Sorry, but it's true. I know we've only had her for a while, but I think she's a little spoiled."

"Are you suggesting that I spoiled her?" Sara's voice was dangerously calm and he knew better than to answer the question. After a moment of silence, she continued. "What happened?"

"She woke up and you weren't here. That's it."

"Should I come over?"

"Do you think we should give in to a tantrum like this?"

"Probably not," Sara admitted. "But I should have warned her I was leaving. She's so fragile right now. Let me at least talk to her."

"If she'll stop crying long enough," he said dryly. Walking back into the bedroom, he attempted to get Hannah's attention but she was ignoring him, crying whole-heartedly from her place in the middle of the bed while fiercely holding on to Griss.

"Hannah, the phone is for you. Hannah." Finally, he simply placed the phone on the bed in front of her and said softly, "Sara." Hannah sniffled a bit and then reached out suspiciously for the phone, which she eventually put to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hannah, baby, what's wrong?"

"You left," Hannah accused.

"Yeah, I did. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was going back to the apartment. But I had to."

"Why?"

"Because this is my apartment."

"Why can't your home be here?"

"Because I live here, sweetie."

"You can live here," Hannah persisted. "You and Uncle Gil can stay together."

"Sweetie, your uncle and I are only friends right now. I'm always going to be here for you, but I have to live at my place and you and Grissom have to live in his house. Do you understand?"

"No," Hannah said stubbornly. "I want you here."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I know it doesn't seem fair, but you can't always have what you want. You know you can call me anytime. And I will see you all the time, I promise."

"My throat hurts," Hannah informed her gingerly.

"That's what happens when you throw a fit all morning," Sara said, unsympathetically but gently.

"I want you to be here."

"Hannah, I'll be over when it's time for Gil to go to work. Until then, you be good for him. When I get there, we'll do something special, okay? But you need to stay with your Uncle Gil for now."

"Please, Sara," Hannah begged quietly.

"Hannah, I'll see you at dinner time," Sara said firmly. "I love you. Now, let me talk to Gil." Sara could tell that the phone was not exactly handed over gently, but it wasn't until Grissom got back on the phone that she was told it was thrown. "Do you really think I shouldn't come over?"

"If you come now, she'll think she can get away with this all the time. Why don't you come over at five? We'll all have dinner together before I go to the lab."

"I'll bring dessert," Sara said calmly, her head throbbing from the stress of it all. "Good luck with her."

"Thanks, I think I'll need it. Have a good day." Sara wouldn't have termed her day particularly good. She spent it attempting to catch up on all the things she had been neglecting while staying with Grissom and Hannah. Wash laundry, pay bills, make a few phone calls; it was a monotonous day and she was thrilled when she finally got ready to go back to Grissom's house. The moment she arrived, Hannah ran to her and clung to her side. Sara pecked Grissom on the cheek and handed him the small pie she had brought for desert before she leaned down and picked up the little girl.

Sara dropped a kiss on the top of her soft brown curls and followed Grissom into the kitchen, where he was just finishing dinner. "Did you have a good day?" The little girl nodded but Grissom raised his eyebrows suspiciously, indicating that it hadn't been anywhere near a good day. Hannah didn't talk much through the mean, which gave Sara and Grissom time to discuss the conversations they'd had with their friends the previous night. Eventually, it was time for Grissom to go to work. While gathering his things to prepare to leave, Sara noticed that Hannah was watching him like a hawk, her eyes following him constantly across the room.

"Have a good night," he said as he leaned down to kiss Hannah's forehead.

"You have to go?"

"I have to go," he answered calmly, looking at Sara questioningly over Hannah's brown curls. What was this about; she'd never seemed bothered before when he left, as long as she knew where to find Sara.

"You have to stay," Hannah insisted, taking his hand and attempting to pull him back away from the hall.

"Hannah, baby, Gil has to go to work," Sara explained gently, picking up the little girl and detaching her from Grissom. Before they really knew what was happening, Hannah had thrown herself into a frenzy, crying frantically and trying to break free of Sara's arms. Grissom stood nearby, looking on in horror, trying to understand what was going on. "Hannah, stop," Sara said firmly, not letting go of the fidgeting child. Twenty minutes later, Hannah had exhausted herself and was crying softly, clutching onto Sara for dear life. The sun had already set, leaving the Grissom living room in relative darkness since the adults had been too preoccupied to turn on a lamp. Having moved to the sofa, Sara sat in silence, her arms still wrapped around the sobbing little girl, while Grissom said motionlessly in a chair, his mind reeling.

An hour after he had originally attempted to leave the house, Grissom's cell phone rang from his jacket pocket. Moving quietly into the kitchen, he answered it gruffly. One of his coworkers was on the line, questioning his whereabouts. After all, his shift had begun almost an hour prior. He explained quickly that he wouldn't make it to work that night; there was a crisis at home that required his attention. He hated giving such fodder for the gossip mill but he wasn't used to coming up with cover stories and he wasn't about to start. After hanging up, he made his way back into the darkened living room and saw that Sara had laid the now-sleeping Hannah on the sofa and has moved to stand by the window.

Her slim figure was barely shadowed in the bit of light coming from the moon but he could see that her stance was rigid; full of stress and worry. He walked over to her and slipped his hands around her waist, wordlessly dropping a kiss on the top of her head and pulling her back so that she lay against him.

"I've never been so scared," she whispered hollowly.

"It was worse than this morning."

"What do we do?"

"I honestly don't know." After a few minutes of staring out into the chilly desert night, they separated and went about their business, he carrying Hannah to her bed and she trying to rearrange everything that had been toppled or disturbed during the little girl's tantrum. The little girl was apparently out for the night, a fact which allowed Grissom to go to work, leaving a very frightened Sara with a sleeping, but also very frightened, Hannah. Curled up with one of the books she had bought about raising adopted children, she kept vigil beside the sleeping child all night. She was just finishing her third book, _No Ordinary Life_, when Grissom arrived home from his abbreviated shift.

Sitting down next to her on the bed, he gently kissed her and then set the book aside, pulling her up into his arms and carrying her into his room. "You haven't slept all night," he accused as he laid her on the king sized bed.

"I was worried."

"You won't do her any good if you're dead on your feet."

"Griss, I need to be there in case she wakes up—"

"You'll be here," he said firmly. "I'll tell her that when she wakes up. Until then, sleep. I'm going to call the doctor, see what she thinks we should do."

"Wake me up if anything happens."

"I will," he promised, kissing her one more time. He was skeptical, but she did roll over and curl up on her side, attempting to sleep despite the worries flying through her mind. After consulting with a nurse and then Dr. Jo, it was decided that the three needed to come in to talk to the good doctor. She hadn't seemed terribly pleased when Grissom admitted that they hadn't yet inquired into the child psychologist. Hannah was still getting acclimated, the thought of the psychologist hadn't occurred to them lately.

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I really appreciate the reviews and feedback that I get for my stories. Because of that, and the fact that I'm avoiding the paper I have to write and the crusades and the Albigenses. Granted, history interests me, but really, it's hard to focus on things that happened in the 1200s when you have so many things to do in 2005… so, in the name of procrastination (and a little too much caffeine, I'm going to try to reply to the lovely reviews I've been receiving. 

**Omusubi** – I'm glad you like the story and I hope you continue to read fanfics – trust me, there are ones out there far better than mine. I have a few favorites bookmarked on my profile page, and there are some really talentedwriters on this site. Happy reading!

**Ms. Elizabeth Granger** – I'm so happy you think it's cute. I find myself 'awing…' as I write it too.

**SpectralLady** – Thanks for reading – you caught on right away – stay tuned – Hannah's issues will be revealed (and hopefully solved). Actually, I know they will be solved, because I'm the writer and I'm a sucker for happy endings.

**MissJorja17 **– I'm glad you're having fun reading this – I'm having a great time writing it – and reading the lovely reviews! Thanks again for reading and reviewing

**Juwist **– very astute observation : ) Don't worry, we're dealing with intelligent characters – they'll help Hannah.

**ToMyGrave – **Thanks for reviewing – I'm glad you're enjoying it. And if you like happy parts – keep reading – I like them too : )

**Almeida's-Angel24 – **thanks for reading – I'm happy you found my story too! And thrilled that you're having a good time reading it. And yeah, it would be great if the shows writers put them together. Until then, it's fun writing/ reading stories about them.

**Niebezpiczny Ksiezyc – **Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Neutrina –** Merci – Danke – Thank you. Sorry, I'm in a silly mood – luckily, I don't know many more languages, so I'll stop with those three. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

**Jtbwriter –** You were quick to pick up on the changes in Hannah – it'll be explained soon. Thanks so much for reading and replying – it's great to know what people think.

**jesusfreak30** – thanks for reviewing – yeah, in the story Hannah was hurt previously by grownups. But not by anyone from the CSI group – someone from her mother's less-than-appropriate group of acquaintances.

**heartcat **– Thanks for reviewing – I hope you liked the date chapter. Hopefully there will be more opportunities for me to write in little dates and things for them.

**Diamond-girl-9** – Thanks for reviewing!

**eac-dudette** – I'm glad you like it so far – I agree that they're perfect for each other – and I'm happy that you like the addition of Hannah.

**drakien **– Thanks for reading and reviewing! I hope you're computer is working better now – they do seem to have minds of their own.

**Mochaccino Love.** – thanks! I promise, unless I leave a note at the end of a chapter, I'll continue to write more. Some updates are slower than others, but they usually come.

**Mandy** – yep, the all-important three small words. Glad you liked it : )

**Guess19** – I think patience is a virtue. But it's certainly not one that I possess, so I don't blame you. I'll try to update quickly for you. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Dew2adidas **– thanks for reviewing – hope you like where the story is going.

**Magick** – I completely agree about the whole name thing. After I read it through again, I saw exactly what you meant. I meant for her to say it teasingly, but it didn't quite fit. Thanks for reading and reviewing : )

Thanks for the additional reviews and wonderfully kind comments from:

GSRbaby, c.roy, Dark-angel-ali, Sara, Smrozier, Kendra is cheese, Fanfic obsessive, csibugman, Denese25, vsky, Christiangirl, Saskia2, Natasha, lin, mooch, palephoenix, LadyBelle84, ThePinkLemming, djkittycat, forensicsgirl,

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	11. Childhood Fears

Everyone who had reviewed for this story – thank you so much! Several parts have been difficult to write and it's always easier when I have feedback so that I know how the story is being read. As a person who writes a lot, I tend to tailor my writing depending on how it's being interpreted, so the feedback is incredibly wonderful and helpful. Keep it up! I hope you enjoy this next part (well, enjoy reading it, not the content). It was difficult to write because it deals with sensitive topics, so I apologize if I didn't get it right. Let me know what you think! Thanks!

* * *

Chapter 11 Childhood Fears

Once they arrived at the doctor's office, they were surprised when the woman requested that Hannah go in by herself. After the nurse showed the reluctant little girl into an exam room, Sara and Gil were left alone in the waiting room with nothing to do but worry.

"What are we doing?" Sara spoke the sudden words after a few moments of awkward silence.

"I thought we were waiting for Hannah," Grissom answered, slightly confused.

"No, I mean with us. What is this?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. He turned to face her, taking her hands gently into his. "Sara, I love you. But as for everything else, it's just happening so fast—"

"Yeah, it is," she answered quietly. "But Grissom, I need to know what we're doing together. If you're just keeping me around to take care of Hannah—"

"Sara, I would never do that—"

"You weren't exactly knocking at my door before she showed up," Sara pointed out.

"I was afraid. Of you. Of us. Of what it would do to our careers. Our lives. But when Hannah showed up, none of that seemed important anymore. Nothing could be scarier than suddenly realizing that you're responsible for another human being. Sara, I want to be with you. Not because of your amazing mother skills. Not because you're helping me raise my niece. But because I love you. And it's time that I finally started showing it."

"Well," Sara said after a few minutes of shocked silence, "I guess that answers my question." She smiled and leaned over to kiss Grissom, but they were interrupted by the loud clearing of someone's throat. They looked up, both a bit flushed, to see a nurse standing in front of them.

"Dr. Jo would like to see you now."

"Thanks," Sara said, her cheeks fully rosy. She and Grissom stood and followed the nurse to an exam room, where Hannah was sitting on the exam table, the doctor sitting on a stood and talking to her quietly.

"Good Afternoon, Sara, Gil."

"Hi, Dr. Jo. How's our little girl here?"

"Perfect as a peach," the woman answered with a smile. "Hannah and I have just been talking about what's been bothering her. And I think it's fixable."

"Well, that's a relief," Sara quipped, taking a seat near the little girl.

"It seems that Miss Hannah is worried that you two might not come back one of these times."

"That would never happen," Sara said firmly, her eyes fixed with Hannah's bright blue orbs.

"Hannah, we're always going to be here for you. You don't need to worry about us not coming back," Grissom added. The little girl didn't seem terribly convinced, but she nodded and seemed to outwardly accept their reassurances. Soon after, the nurse led Hannah out of the room to search for a lollypop while the doctor quickly spoke with Sara and Grissom.

"She looks better than she did when you were in last," Dr. Jo said as they watched Hannah leave the room. "I'm still a bit concerned about her size, but she seems to be putting on a little weight, so I think we'll have to be happy with that for now. Her vocabulary and motor skills are amazing," she added.

"She's a smart little girl," Sara said with a nod.

"Which means she's very observant," the doctor stated. "And she's probably picked up on the fact that your job is not always safe. She mentioned something to that effect when we were talking. In addition to the normal childhood fear of abandonment, she has her previous experiences with abuse, and her fear that you two might get hurt on the job."

"The tantrums she's been having are not normal," Sara said grimly. "We're afraid she's going to hurt herself. What can we do to help her?"

"I believe that Hannah is suffering from separation anxiety. Normally, children get past this type of thing by the age of four. Developmentally, Hannah is well beyond her peers in most respects. But when it comes to attachment, you two are probably the first adults she's ever felt she was able to trust and actually become dependent upon."

"What can we do?" It was Sara who was anxious to get to the bottom of the problem and find out how to solve it; the waiting was driving her crazy.

"Reassurances are what she needs right now. Hopefully, she'll come around. If the tantrums and nightmares get to be too much, she can be medicated—"

"No," Sara said immediately, shutting down that possibility

"Do you think this is going to get better?" Grissom posed the question from his seat next to Sara, his hand loosely holding hers as she attempted not to fidget.

"I'm not qualified in this area," Dr. Jo answered honestly. "So I'm not comfortable answering that question. I think it's imperative that you get Hannah to a child psychologist. She is a beautiful and vibrant little girl, but without proper counseling, she may not mature socially or be able to function in any sort of adult reality." Sara tried not to smile as she realized that Hannah would truly fit into their lives if she had issues with people. Sara and Grissom weren't exactly the best examples of socially aware and involved adults. She hoped that their influence in the past few weeks hadn't added to Hannah's fears. She knew that she and Grissom were the last people who had the right to make Hannah deal with the real world when they didn't even do it on a daily basis.

After a few more general questions, the doctor showed them out to the waiting room, where Hannah was reading a _Dr. Seuss_ book with one of the nurses. As soon as she spotted Sara and Grissom, Hannah closed the book and hurried over to them, reaching up to Grissom with the clear intention of being picked up. Grissom did so, bringing her to eye level with the adults.

"Hannah, you take care of yourself," Dr. Jo said kindly. "And remember what we talked about." Hannah nodded, smiling shyly as she leaned against Grissom. They went home and the day was fairly uneventful from that point on, with the exception of Grissom finally placing the call to schedule an appointment with the child psychologist.

A little over a month after Hannah had come into their lives, the three traveled to the suburban office of Dr. Meredith DeMaurier, child psychologist extraordinaire. They had attempted to explain the visit to Hannah but were pretty sure that she didn't quite understand the reasoning behind it. It was quite possible that, as an innocent child, she did not yet possess the fears that kept adults from talking about painful subjects. But whatever the reason, she was chipper as they entered the child-friendly waiting room. Sara smoothed her eggplant colored suit pants as she saw in an uncomfortable chair that had been inhabited by countless nervous parents before her. Once Grissom has signed them in, he joined her and took her hand in his.

The receptionist kept Hannah busy, talking to her about some toy or another, while the doctor spoke quietly to Grissom and Sara. "We'll do the intake interview and go from there. If Hannah seems ready to talk, I'll go with it. You're my last appointment for the day, so we'll go however far she's willing to go." The two adults simply nodded, not sure if they liked the idea of seeing how long Hannah would hold up. They wanted her in one, happy piece when this visit was over.

The doctor's office was comforting, painted a dark sage and decorated more like a living room than a doctor's office. Meredith DeMaurier was a middle aged, red hair woman with bright green eyes and a kind smile. She invited them to sit down as she smoothed her white pencil suit skirt and perched on a high backed chair.

Sara sat on a sofa and Hannah immediately sat next to her, as close as possible without actually sitting in her lap. Grissom sat next to them but slightly separated; his attention was focused more on the doctor.

"Good afternoon, Sara, Hannah, Dr. Grissom. I'm Dr. DeMaurier. I hope you found your way easily enough."

"Yes, it was a straight shot," Grissom said simply.

"I'm glad you didn't have trouble. Would anyone like a drink?" After they all declined, she turned her attention to Hannah, who was suspiciously surveying the room. She was normally an enchanting little girl but looked especially beautiful in the black dress, light pink sweater, white tights, and shinny Mary Janes. Grissom wasn't sure where Sara got her sense of style for the four year old, but it was definitely the polar opposite of the simplicity and no frills with which she herself usually dressed.

"Well, Hannah, how are you today?"

"Good. Thank you, ma'am," she said softly.

"Well, you certainly are a polite little thing. Do you know why you're here today?"

"Sara said it was just to talk," Hannah said cautiously.

"Yes, we'll just talk," the woman assured her. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"Like what?"

"Anything at all. Maybe about where you lived before you came here to stay with Sara and Dr. Grissom."

"No, thank you," the little girl said quietly, burrowing further into Sara, sliding back a bit on the sofa.

"That's alright. We can just talk about now. How do you like staying with Sara and Dr. Grissom? What is your favorite thing to do?"

"I like to read," Hannah said after some thought. "But I like taking walks in the park too. We get to feed the ducks. And sometimes Greg brings his dog and I get to play with her. Her name is Gracie. She's a big dog," Hannah said with a happy smile.

"What kind of dog does Greg have?" Hannah looked at Sara for help to answer the doctor's question.

"German Shepherd mix," Sara supplied.

"Well, it sounds like you have a lot of fun. And who is this Greg?"

"Greg works with Sara. Gil is his boss."

"Sara's boss too?" The Dr. DeMaurier asked with raised eyebrows directed at the two adults.

"I don't know."

"Not really," Grissom said uncomfortably.

"Boss is such an outdated term," Sara quipped. The doctor noticed their unwillingness to confront that topic so she quickly changed it, focusing attention back on Hannah.

"Do you get to read and go to the park often?"

"We read every day. Sara says it's important. And it's fun too. And we get to go to the park a few times a week. When no one has to work."

"Do they work a lot?"

"Uncle Gil does. Sometimes Sara too," Hannah answered truthfully.

"How do you feel about that?" The questions were making Sara uncomfortable to the point where she couldn't seem to stop fidgeting. It was difficult for her to sit still on a normal basis, let alone when being practically interrogated by a stranger. She shifted slightly to remove her suit jacket while Hannah answered the doctor.

"Sad sometimes. And scared," she added softly.

"Why scared?"

"I don't know," Hannah insisted, her eyes focused on the carpet under the doctor's chair.

"I think you do," Dr. DeMaurier prodded gently. Hannah remained silent, apparently not quite interested in sharing in such great detail. But the psychologist continued on, having many years of experience with shy and frightened children. "It might help to talk about how you feel. I know I always feel better when I talk about what's bothering me. Then my friends and family can help me feel better about those things. Want to give it a try?"

"I don't like them to leave," Hannah answered stubbornly.

"I'm sure they don't want to leave you either," Dr. DeMaurier answered sympathetically. "But grownups have to work. It's the way of the world. And Gil and Sara have to work, just like everyone else. Do you know what they do at work?"

"Catch bad guys," Hannah said softly; that much she had gathered from the hushed conversations of the two adults and their coworkers. Also, it was what Brass had told her when she demanded to know, the week before, why he was taking Sara and Gil away from her.

"That's right," Dr. DeMaurier answered. "Don't you think that's important?"

"Yes," Hannah answered glumly.

"Well then, how can Sara and Gil help people and make sure the bad guys are in jail if they stay home with you?"

"I don't know," Hannah answered, her eyes tearing up. It was the first time someone had changed the perspective of the situation and made the tiny girl think that she might be hindering the capture of some bad guy or the rescue of another little girl. She began to sniffle and Sara gently pulled her into her lap, stroking her hair slowly.

"Don't cry," Sara pleaded. "None of this is your fault. Grownups worry, it's what we do," she said, glaring harshly at the doctor. "If we weren't worried about you, we'd be worried about Lindsay. Or Greg," She added wryly, "okay?" Hannah nodded, wiping away the tears with the back of her hand. Grissom leaned over and handed her his soft white handkerchief.

"Sweetheart, we don't mind staying home with you," Grissom informed her, "we just want to know what you're afraid of. Because we don't want you to be frightened."

"You're always going to be safe with us," Sara added gently. Hannah nodded, but curled up closer to Sara, hiding her face from the doctor's imposing gaze.

"Why don't we take a break?" The doctor asked kindly, standing up and moving toward the door. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Feel free to ask the receptionist for anything you need."

* * *

**Lin** – I'm happy that you think they make a cute family – and Hannah will be alright eventually – she has wonderful parents now, after all.

**Ms. Elizabeth Granger** – Thanks for complimenting on the 'discipline.' That caused a problem while I was writing. It's hard to lay down rules with a kid who is so cute, and so haunted. But I'm glad that you think it works in this story.

**SpectralLady** – thanks for the review! Yes, happy endings should always be somewhere. I'm an English major, and I've found that most of 'literature' has tragic or hard-to-determine endings. So, I find myself writing the happy ones in order to compensate.

**Denese25** – I'm glad the story is coming off as believable – it's hard, since it deals with several issues that I've never encountered, so I'm glad that it's coming together in a realistic fashion.

**dark-angel-ali** – thanks for reading and reviewing – Hannah will be okay eventually; all little kids deserve that, even fictitious ones.

**Smrozier** – Thanks for reviewing! Grissom and Sara – I'm getting there, I promise. I'm trying to decide how to realistically continue with their relationship (I don't want to make it seem as though he's keeping her around simply to help him with Hannah). Thanks for the feedback!

**Augusta** – Hannah's past will eventually be divulged in the story, pretty soon actually.

**Juwist** – I'm glad you like the story, and thanks for the review!

**Jtbwriter** – Thanks, I'm glad you like the story and the way it's working out for the little family.

Csi-ds9 – Thanks for the review – it's a real compliment – one that I very much appreciate.

**Magick** – I'm glad it's realistic. I don't yet have my own kids, but I've spent the better part of my life since the age of 12 babysitting – and I'm the oldest of 14 grandkids – I've seen witnessed my own share of tantrums, I'm glad it seemed accurate in the story. Thanks!

**Megan** – Thanks for the review, I'm glad you like the story. You'll find out a little bit more about Hannah's tantrums in this chapter.

**Paulina** – Thanks for the suggestion, I completely agree with you. I know that I need to fit in more of their relationship – I'm working on it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**Jo Jo Mobile** – thanks for reviewing – I'm glad you're liking the story. No, I don't usually end a story without a very direct 'the end,' or some other obvious ending. The last chapter will be called Epilogue, or end, or something of that nature. Don't worry, there's still more story to be written.

**Eaglesei** – Thanks for the review, I agree! That's what I'm attempting to do now, bring Sara and Grissom together for their own sakes, not just Hannah's.

**Jillyree** – I'm happy that you think I'm capturing the personality of a four year old well—I've had quite a bit of experience with kids. (Not that I think for a minute that makes me ready for my own – I'm going to be petrified when the time comes to raise my own). Thanks for reading and reviewing!

**LadyPiper1** – I hope you do well on your Geometry test! I know all about procrastination—and fan fiction is one of my favorite ways to stall too. I'm glad you like the story, and I hope you find other CSI fics that you like – there are a lot of good ones out there. Keep reading, I love to hear what you think!

**Diamond-girl-9** – Thanks so much! More about Hannah will be coming soon!


	12. Painful Revelations

Thanks so much for the reviews! I enjoy reading them and I love knowing what people are thinking about the story. Also, thank you to everyone who gave suggestions as to the Sara/Grissom relationship. I am trying to build that more slowly and realistically, but it's harder than I imagined. So, please be patient, and let me know what you think, it always helps!

* * *

Chapter 12 – Painful Revelations

After a hushed conversation, Grissom and Sara left the decision of whether or not they would stay to Hannah. The little girl pondered the possibility; certain that she wanted to get out of the current situation as soon as possible.

"We could leave?" She asked tentatively, not sure what to make of the news.

"We could leave," Sara answered gently. "But we need to talk to someone. So we'll have to find another doctor. But if you don't like Dr. DeMaurier, we won't stay."

"It's not her," Hannah whispered softly.

"I didn't think so," Sara replied. "We could stop for today. But it might be better if we talked some more. And maybe we could find a way for you not to be so afraid."

"You could quit work," Hannah said hopefully.

"Baby doll, that's not what I meant."

"I know," Hannah answered darkly.

"Hannah, do you think we could give Dr. DeMaurier one more try?" Grissom posed the question carefully, not really wanting to see the child suffer any longer but also very anxious to get to the bottom of her fears.

"Okay," the little girl answered in a whisper. She pulled away from Sara a bit and sat back on the sofa, preparing herself for another onslaught of questions. When the doctor returned, she noticed that the tiny girl seemed very determined to stay strong and do whatever her pseudo-parents thought best.

The doctor perched once more across from the newfound family and focused her attention on Hannah, who was watching her carefully. "So, Hannah, what makes you worry when Sara and Gil go to work? We'll start there."

"I don't want to be alone," Hannah informed her softly.

"Do Sara and Gil always come home after work?"

"Yes," Hannah answered.

"Then what makes you think they won't?"

"I don't know," Hannah answered softly.

"Well, I think there's a simple solution. Hannah, would you feel better if you could call Sara and Gil at certain times? That way you would know that they were okay."

"I guess that would be okay."

"I think it could be arranged," the doctor said with a gentle smile. "So what's going to make you feel better about Sara and Gil going to work?"

"I know that they will always come back."

"I'm glad you know that now. And I think they are too. Have you ever met anyone else like Sara or Gil?" The question was vague, but Hannah attacked it from the same direction the doctor was hoping she would take. Did the little girl know any other adults who happened to be decent human beings, kind in every day life?

"Catherine is nice. She stays with me sometimes. And Julie. She watches me when Sara and Gil have to go to work. And Greg is funny. And there are other nice people at the lab."

"The lab where Sara and Gil work?" Hannah nodded. "Anyone else?"

"Not really," Hannah answered with a frown.

"What other kinds of adults have you met?"

"Miss Debbie was mean," Hannah said, matter-of-factly. "And Mr. Jack was a bad man."

"Why was he bad?" Dr. DeMaurier asked. Sara and Grissom were intently listening, having all too much knowledge as to what has probably made this man bad. Children were very perceptive and rarely were so secretive about things unless they were truly taboo in the adult world.

"I can't tell," Hannah answered, her voice tapering off in a wavering tone.

"You can say anything in this room, Hannah," Dr. DeMaurier informed her, "I want you to know that you're safe here. Everyone in this room wants to help you."

"What should I say?" Hannah wanted to tell them, but she couldn't; in her four-year-mind, she wasn't sure where the adults wanted the conversation to go if she couldn't divulge anymore information.

"Do you want to talk about Mr. Jack?" The doctor posed this question despite the fact that Hannah had already offered many signs that indicated that she did not want to talk about him.

"It might help, baby doll," Sara said gently, "but only if you want."

"He was Miss Debbie's friend. He came to the house. I couldn't leave." Her voice was trembling and Sara could feel her beginning to shake.

"You're safe here. We're right here," she reminded the little girl in a whisper, rubbing her back reassuringly. She was so tiny and young to have such horrific memories.

"Mr. Jack would yell all the time and sometimes throw things. One time, he threw a glass and I got a piece in my hand. But Miss Debbie pulled it out. And he would do bad things when Miss Debbie wasn't there."

"What kinds of thing?" The psychologist prompted gently, not wanting to disrupt the flow of the little girl's story.

"Bad things," Hannah repeated hollowly. "He would touch places." Sara had heard enough; she was fighting to keep the tears at bay while Grissom attempted not to tear apart a nearby throw pillow.

"Hannah, you are such a brave little girl. We are all so proud of you for talking about such grownup and hurtful things. Do you think we could talk a little more while Sara and Gil waited outside?" Dr. DeMaurier suggested that arrangement mostly because she could see that the little girl's story was having an adverse effect on the adults. And one thing Hannah did not need to see was her safety nets falling apart. Hannah looked at the two adults questioningly and Grissom nodded, offering his consent.

"They can't leave," Hannah said softly, burrowing closer to Sara.

"We're not leaving," Sara answered, firmly.

"Hannah, Sara and Gil are going to stay right outside this room. They're not going anywhere. I just thought you and I could talk. Just between us." Hannah looked at her skeptically, and then turned her eyes to Sara.

"Only if it's okay with you, baby girl," Sara said softly.

"I guess so," Hannah answered uncomfortably. Sara and Grissom were led outside and then into an observation room, where they were able to see and hear everything going on with Hannah. Sara sat in a chair near the window and Grissom stood behind her, his hand reassuringly resting on her shoulder.

At first, Hannah seemed fine without them. But after a few minutes, she slowly regressed in manner and speech. Dr. DeMaurier asked her to play a game of checkers and Hannah pretended not to know how, despite the fact that she played it quite frequently with both Sara and Grissom.

"Hannah, let's try something else."

"Okay," the little girl consented.

"I have these two dolls. This one is you," she said, indicating the doll with the dress, "and the boy doll is Mr. Jack. Why don't you show me how they would play together?" Hannah shook her head and crossed her arms, fearfully eying the dolls.

"I need to go in there," Sara said quickly, pulling away from Grissom

"No, Sara, she's fine."

"That is not fine," Sara said frantically.

"Just give them a minute." They turned their attention back to the room in just enough time to hear Hannah say,

"I want Sara." Grissom had to physically hold Sara back, firmly taking her hands in his to stop her from running into the room. Hannah walked toward the door, intent upon leaving and going back to her guardians.

"Hannah," Dr. DeMaurier said firmly. "Sara can't help you." Sara's eyes flew open wide and she looked incredulously at Grissom; how dare this woman say such a thing to upset her little girl.

"Sara and Gil wouldn't leave," Hannah said defiantly, but they heard the terror in her voice.

"No," Dr. DeMaurier agreed. "But they aren't in this room with you."

"Are too," Hannah argued proudly.

"Where?"

"They love me, so they're always here," Hannah said, fingering her white gold heart, "Sara said so."

"She's a smart lady, your Sara. And so are you, my dear. But it's not good to keep secrets. Because they hurt, way down deep where you can't see. And Sara and Gil don't want you to hurt."

"I can't tell," Hannah said, her voice obviously vibrating with frustration.

"Why is that?"

"He'll come back."

"Hannah, do you know what your guardians do for a living?"

"What are guardians?"

"Sara and Gil. They make sure that the bad guys don't hurt more people. They will protect you. You never have to worry about Mr. Jack again."

"Really?"

"Really," Dr. DeMaurier said gently. "What if we bring them back in and we all talk about Mr. Jack. Then, there will be no more secrets. I promise, it will help. Hurtful things are easier when you share them."

"I don't want anybody to be mad."

"No one will be mad at you," Dr. DeMaurier said firmly. "You are a good little girl. Nothing that Mr. Jack did is your fault.

"Okay."

"Good," Dr. DeMaurier smiled gently. As soon as Hannah spotted the two walking into the room, she ran straight for them, jumping directly into Sara's arms.

"I want to go home," she said frantically.

"We will, baby," Sara assured her as she held her close.

"But I think that Dr. DeMaurier wants to talk a little more before we go. Is that alright with you?"

"Can we just go home?"

"We can, if you want," Sara assented, glaring at Grissom when he attempted to argue. "But this isn't going to go away until you talk about it. I wish I could make all the bad things go away, but I can't. And we can't help you unless we know what happened with Mr. Jack."

"Can I sit with you?" Hannah asked in a whisper.

"Of course you can sit with me," Sara consented. She crossed the room to a more comfortable looking sofa and sat down, pulling Hannah into her lap and putting her arms around the frightened little girl. Grissom sat next to them, offering his silent support. The doctor switched on a tape recorder and perched on another chair, not far from the small family.

Throughout the following hour, they heard terrible tales of what had occurred in just the past few months of Hannah's young life. This Jack person had, as they had feared, violated the tiny child in the worst and most unforgivable way. Hannah remained steady as she retold what she could remember but Sara had to work hard to remain calm. Eventually, she felt a strong hand wrap around hers as Grissom offered his own reassurance and stability. Despite their reluctance to fall apart in front of the little girl, Sara and Gil were both in tears by the end of the session.

"Nothing like that is ever going to happen again," Grissom told her firmly as he held his niece in his lap. "I'm so sorry those things happened. But I promise, you're safe now."

"I know," Hannah said through her weeping. She was crying because everyone else was crying; it was a natural reaction for a child. Eventually they gathered their things and prepared to leave, scheduling a much shorter session for the following week. Hannah, emotionally exhausted, was asleep in Grissom's arms before they reached the car.

"That was awful," Sara seethed as Grissom closed Hannah's door. She was standing in the parking lot, her arms crossed and her expression angry. "It went too far."

"Sara, I think the doctor knew what she was doing. Hannah's going to be fine," he said, reaching for her hand. Sara pulled away and turned, pacing a bit before addressing him again.

"She's never going to be fine," she said, tears flowing down her cheeks. "How can she be fine when someone violated her? Violated her right to be an innocent little girl? How can someone do that to a child?"

"Shh," Grissom soothed as he pulled her into his arms, successfully stopping her fidgeting. "It's okay to be upset. But not angry. Hannah won't understand it. "She may have awful memories, but she's safe now. And she knows that. We can't change the past, we can only make sure that her future is full of love and security."

"You sound like a hallmark card," Sara said with a laugh as she sniffled and attempted to wipe away some of the tears.

"I missed my calling as a greeting card phrase writer."

"Never too late to reinvent yourself," she teased.

"And let you have all the fun? Nah," he said with a shake of his head. He put his arm around her and led her to the passenger side of the car and then made sure she was settled before closing the door and rounding the car to slide into the driver's seat. Most of the ride home was silent, but Grissom could tell that Sara was still fighting tears. She had gone through several tissues since they had left the parking lot. Once Hannah was in bed for what looked to be the night, Sara found herself standing in the hallway, unsure of what to do. It was late, but she felt strange going home to her empty apartment after such an emotionally draining day.

Grissom found her staring at a shadowboxed butterfly in the hallway and at first he was at a loss for words; how did he ask her to stay? It was times like these when he wished he were more social, that he had more people to go to for advise. "I should probably go," she said quickly, blushing as she realized that he had been staring at her.

"You don't have to," he answered uncertainly.

"It's late," she returned piteously.

"I could make dinner. We could watch a movie," he said, the hopefulness in his voice evident enough to make Sara reconsider. A gently smile quickly graced her features and she took the hand that he tentatively offered.

"I'd like that," she answered softly. Kicking off her black heels, she curled up in the corner of the sofa and gratefully accepted the glass of red wine that Grissom offered her a few minutes later. Sara scrolled through the cable movie guide while she listened to Grissom moving around the kitchen, apparently preparing something edible. She quickly found a channel playing _Gone With the Wind_ and switched it on before taking a few good sips of the wine.

"I never took you as a romantic," Grissom commented as he saw Vivien Leigh sweep onto the screen.

"_Gone With the Wind_ is the quintessential romance," Sara informed him, "everyone should know it. Besides, I am a romantic. You're just thick-skulled." Grissom looked at her strangely, not quite knowing how to answer the off-handed insult. "Hey," Sara said as soon as she saw his face fall, "I'm teasing. What are you thinking?" They had spent far too long avoiding each other's feelings and she wasn't about to let something else come between them.

"I'm thinking we should have done this a long time ago," he answered gruffly.

"We are now," Sara said, her expression lighting up with a smile, "that's what matters." Their conversation was interrupted by the kitchen timer and he pointed, indicating that he should get back to the food. After finishing a small portion of the pesto pasta, Sara found that her eyes were refusing to stay open. Although the movie was one of her favorites, she couldn't seem to concentrate on it. Before she knew what was happening, she was floating in the air, slowly moving. She realized that Grissom was carrying her into his bedroom.

"I'll sleep on the sofa," she objected as he placed her under the covers.

"Stay in here," Grissom ordered softly. "Sweet dreams."


	13. An Engaging Proposal

Chapter 13 An Engaging Proposal

Several days later, they were all still quite shaken from the trip to the child psychologist. Grissom had taken off all but one workday and Sara hadn't even thought of going to the lab. On top of that, Sara had practically moved back into Grissom's home, falling asleep every night in Hannah's bed or on the sofa. On Saturday night, they decided that they all needed to get out of the house and back into society. Or at least out of the house. After a quick consultation with the newspaper, they decided on a casual dinner and an early showing of _Because of Winn-Dixie_. Hannah simply loved the movie and the two adults couldn't help but think that she was just as adorable as the little girl on screen. By the time the credits were rolling, Hannah was yawning heavily, looking to Grissom to carry her out to the car.

"I think the lady is getting a little spoiled," he teased as he placed her in the booster seat. Hannah giggled and gave him a childish kiss before he moved away and closed her door. Grissom was still smiling when he started the engine and began to drive back toward home. After a few minutes of silence, the two adults realized that Hannah was sound asleep.

"What are you thinking about work?" Grissom's question was abrupt, but not terribly surprising; Sara knew it had been coming. Since Hannah's arrival, Sara had officially been on leave from the department, only going in on a few urgent cases where they were short staffed or Grissom felt her insight was needed. In all, she had barely worked sixty hours in the previous four weeks. For a woman who was used to working 72 hours straight, it was a huge cut back. It also couldn't be easy for the lab, loosing someone who had worked so well and so frequently. The case loads of the other CSIs had increased three fold once Sara had cut back her usual hours.

"I haven't been," Sara answered evasively, looking out the window as the passed through the neon-lit streets and moved into the more residential area.

"That's not like you."

"Neither is sleeping, or cooking, or taking care of a four year old," she pointed out wryly, turning to look at him for a moment. "But I've been doing that."

"Sara, I don't want you to feel like you have to do this—"

"I don't want you to keep making me feel like I can leave at any time. That makes a person feel a little unwanted," she pointed out, her voice bordering on anger.

"Sara, I want you with me. More than anything. But I won't cost you your career."

"First of all, you haven't made me do anything or even asked me to do anything I haven't wanted to do. And second, my career isn't ruined. It's on hiatus. One that I needed, whether Hannah had come along or not. I get too involved in these cases."

"I know," he agreed gently, surprised that she had said it herself after so many years of denying her close empathy for the victims she encountered daily. "You've been thinking about something," he prodded gently. "I know you, and you couldn't go a month without mulling over some idea."

"Teaching," she said suddenly, as though spitting it out might be the easiest way to clear her mind.

"Teaching?"

"College," she said simply, letting the conversation stall for a few moments. "I love my job, I do."

"I know you do."

"But that's not all there is to life—"

"No, it's not."

"For the first time, I can imagine myself without the workaholic part. It's sort of nice. I never thought I'd be able to imagine myself outside the lab. I thought that was the only place I'd ever matter."

"Sara, you'll always matter—"

"Thank you," she said softly. "But that's not how I felt. Not until recently. And it feels nice, to be needed by someone who's actually alive." Grissom kept quiet, realizing that she needed an outlet at the moment. She continued, clearing her mind of all the unusual thoughts that had been occurring over the past few weeks.

"I was sitting with Hannah about two weeks ago, helping her build some sort of tower out of those block sets Nick gave her. She was trying to build a tower like the one in this picture of Sleeping Beauty. Eventually she did. And she was so proud of herself. So was I," she added with a small smile.

"It was such a big deal for her. I was thinking about all the things that were important to me, when I was little. I realized that my mother was never there. And I always felt so alone. I don't want Hannah to know that feeling. I want to be there while she's learning to read and when she rides her first two-wheeler. Last week, she was with Martha and she read a book. Or, at least a few words. She read her first words and I was investigating a murder on the strip. I don't want the babysitter or nanny or daycare worker helping her with school assignment or tucking her into bed. I want to be there." Her words toward the end were incredibly resolute and Grissom could tell that she had made up her mind, no matter what else she might say.

"So, you've thought about it a little?" She could see that his eyes were sparkling as he tried not to laugh at her extremely out-of-character outburst.

"A little," she answered with a smile. Grissom pulled his Tahoe into his garage and gently carried Hannah up the stairs to her bedroom. Sara carefully removed her shoes and helped him tuck her under the covers, right in the middle of the bed where no one had to worry about her falling. Turning out the light and plugging in the little crystal nightlight, the two adults returned to the living room. Grissom took Sara's hands and led her to the sofa before she could even mention leaving.

"Sara, I want you to be happy. If being with Hannah is what you want, then I'm all for it. If you want to teach, I think that's great. Greg can attest to your talent as a teacher."

"I can't teach," she said quickly, "I never finished my masters, and that's barely enough to teach at the university level. I'd need a PhD."

"So get one."

"Grissom, a PhD takes years. Not to mention the money. Forget I mentioned it—"

"I'm not forgetting it," he insisted. "This is what you want, I can tell."

"Griss, you know you can't always have what you want. I'd think you'd learned that lesson by now—"

"But we can this time," he insisted, his eyes intently staring at her, almost paralyzing he with their intensity. "You've told me what you want. I'll tell you what I want, and then we can make it happen for one another."

"It's not that easy," she said with a cautious smile, inwardly in awe of his current state of child-like optimism. She didn't see him this excited very often; he usually kept his feelings extremely well hidden.

"Sure it is," he exclaimed, "you want to go back to school. You've got the drive and the intelligence; the money won't be a problem—"

"And what is it that you want?" As she spoke, he knelt on the ground and Sara felt her heart literally skip a beat. "Grissom, what are you doing?" Her eyes grew wide as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a tiny black velvet box. "Griss, what's going on?" Clearing his throat, smiling shyly, he took Sara's left hands into his.

"Sara Sidle, will you marry me?" He flipped open the little box to reveal an antique white gold ring, engraved the entire circumference with a beautiful motif and set with a simple, elegantly cut diamond. Sara's hands flew to her face as the sobs started, but he pulled them back, his eyes begging her for an answer. She nodded as the tears continued to flow.

"Yes," she finally said between the sobs.

"Yes?"

"Yes!" A giggling voice said from the hall. They turned to see Hannah standing there, smiling broadly as she watched the scene unfold. They both laughed as Sara dried her tears. Grissom slid the ring onto her left ring finger and then kissed her before turning back to Hannah. He attempted to be stern, but he couldn't hide the merriment in his voice as he fought back the urge to grin.

"What are you doing awake, young lady?"

"I wasn't tired," she said innocently, making a face. "I heard you and Sara."

"You heard me and Sara? What did you hear?"

"You're getting married," she said with a happy giggle.

"Do you know what that means?"

"Sara's gonna live with us!" Hannah bounced across the room and hugged Gil, then Sara. "I'm happy."

"We're happy too," Sara assured her, still a bit shaken. "But it's time for bed."

"We didn't read a story," Hannah reminded her with a silly smile.

"You're right." Sara stood and offered her hand to the little girl, who took it and began pulling Sara to her room. The almost-giddy new bride-to-be took Grissom's hand and pulled him along as well.


	14. Not a Secret Anymore

Thanks so much for the reviews! I really do appreciate it. Sorry that this update took longer, but I've been busy with finals. Again, thanks for the reviews. Please continue to let me know what you think.

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Chapter 14 Not a Secret Anymore

Almost a week later, Sara received a phone call from one of her least favorite people. Conrad Eckley informed her that Cavallo wanted her to come to the lab for a meeting. Immediately. She tried to explain that she couldn't come right away, but Eckley cut her off and hung up, leaving Sara with a thirty-pound conundrum. Not knowing what else she could do, she quickly changed into something presentable and took a sleeping Hannah, nightgown, stuffed animal and all, to the lab. Greg was the unfortunate soul who Sara saw first. After being told that Grissom was out in the field, she pretty much ordered Greg to follow her. Entering Grissom's office, she laid Hannah on the sofa and covered her with a blanket from the closet. The little girl snuggled closer to her stuffed dog and changed her position a bit but didn't wake up despite the ruckus.

Dragging a chair so that it faced the sofa, Sara indicated that Greg should sit. "I shouldn't be long."

"Sara, I'm supposed to be in the lab—"

"DNA won't move while you're away. Kids will," Sara offered helpfully. "Stay here while I'm gone. Don't let her out of your sight. And if she wakes up, tell her I'll be back any minute." Without allowing Greg to argue or ask questions, she practically ran through the various buildings until she reached Cavallo's office. She stood outside for a moment to catch her breath before knocking. Upon entering, Sara was stunned to see that Grissom was sitting before the man's desk, waiting patiently. Cavallo was on the phone while Eckley was sitting nearby, a disgustingly snide smile on his face.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know," Grissom whispered. "Hannah?"

"With Greg," Sara said, almost under her breath. "I didn't know what else to do."

"You did good," he answered softly. As soon as Cavallo set the phone down, he turned toward Sara and Grissom, his expression somewhat glum.

"I'm sorry to bring you both in. You're valuable people and I know your time would be spent better elsewhere. But something has come to my attention and I feel it's my duty to address the issue before it inflates any further."

"I don't quite follow," Grissom said simply. Sara avoided Cavallo's gaze; she knew what he was going to bring up and she did not want to discuss it.

"Dr. Grissom, Ms. Sidle, I'm sure you're quite aware of the department's policy on inter-office romances. It's entirely inappropriate for a supervisor to be involved with a subordinate—"

"As you'll note, Sara has not been under my direct supervision for over a year," Grissom commented. "And earlier today, the papers were filed to move her to the swing shift, under the supervision of Catherine Willows."

"This won't look good to the public," Cavallo said, obviously still concerned. "Any cases that you've worked together may be called into question."

"We've done nothing wrong," Sara said, trying to keep her temper in check.

"Actually, Ms. Sidle has missed quite a bit of work. Over 20 days in the past month," Eckley said snidely.

"Vacation time that was requested and approved," Grissom snapped quickly.

"By the man she's sleeping with," Eckley shot back, allowing his temper to get the better of him for a moment.

"Uncalled for," Cavallo said as Grissom stood up, glaring at his colleague. "This is not personal, I'm simply thinking about what will be in the best interest of the lab. And a scandal is not what we need. I think we're done here. You know my concerns, I'm aware of yours. Tread carefully. I'd hate to lose either one of you. You're certainly some of my best criminalists."

Sara was livid; actually turning red by the time they reached the hallway. She was pacing up and down, her hands clasped together in front of her lips a she stalked back and forth down the hall. Grissom was trying to calm her, but he still wasn't quite sure what had happened. Just then, Brass came out of his office and saw them both. The first thing he noticed was the ring on Sara's left hand; she didn't normally wear jewelry on her hands as a result of the work she normally did.

"Gil, Sara."

"Hey Jim," Grissom returned absently.

"Hey, is there something you two should be sharing?"

"What?"

"Sara, that's a beautiful ring." Sara blushed and moved to take it off but Brass stopped her. "Please, don't take it off on my account. I couldn't be happier for you two. Don't worry about Eckley and Cavallo. They know what percentage of cases you two solve. Your jobs are safe. And I think this is the best thing that could have happened."

"Thanks Jim," Sara said with a sad smile.

"Well, I won't tell the rest of the lab. But you might want to. I think they'll be happy."

"We'll keep it in mind," Grissom told his friend. He put his arm around Sara's waist and they began walking back through the corridors toward their lab; as far away from the politics as they could get. As they neared his office, it was Sara who first picked up the sound of Hannah's cries. Both breaking into a run, they arrived at his office in record time to find Hannah, having a tantrum while Catherine, Nick, Jackie, and Greg looked on helplessly. Sara went straight to the little girl and picked her up, firmly embracing her so that she wasn't able to flail any more; it was a side effect of temper tantrums that could cause the little girl a lot of harm. Once she was no longer given free reign, Hannah calmed down enough to realize that Sara and Gil were in the room. Her sobs slowed, but didn't stop as Sara tried to question her.

"What happened, baby?" She whispered the words softly, smoothing Hannah's hair as she rocked her gently. Hannah continued to cry softly, her face buried in Sara's silky blouse.

"Greg, what happened?" It was Grissom who finally addressed the small crowd of coworkers who had gathered in the office.

"She just started screaming," he said innocently. "I didn't do anything."

"She saw that you and Sara were gone and flipped," Nick added helpfully.

"She was just scared," Catherine said, correcting his word usage.

"Well, thank you," Grissom said calmly. "We'll take it from here." They started to file out of the office, but Catherine stopped in her tracks when she saw something glitter from the corner of her eye. She turned and watched with wide eyes as Sara stroked Hannah's brown curls again; prominently displaying the diamond perched upon her left ring finger.

"Sara?" She asked, her voice thick with surprise. Sara looked up and saw Catherine's face and immediately knew that the older woman had seen her ring.

"Hey," Nick said, suddenly catching on, "are you two engaged?"

"Yeah," Grissom said matter-of-factly, "we are." His tone challenged someone to question it but they all declined, simply walking out while trying to hide their smiles. Sara smiled at Grissom over Hannah's head; they were both relieved to have their secret out in the open. After Hannah's sobs had slowed and she seemed to have calmed down a bit, Sara decided to try and talk to her.

"Hannah, what happened?"

"I thought you left," she said after a bit of silence.

"Sweetie, we promised you that wouldn't happen. We had to talk to our boss. And Greg was here the whole time. You're safe with him."

"I didn't know," Hannah said, sniffling.

"No, I guess you didn't," Sara said as the realization struck her. "How about this, we'll make a list. A list of people that you'll always be safe with. That way, you'll know. And you won't have to be afraid. How does that sound?"

"Okay," Hannah relented suspiciously. Grissom, thinking that the idea was ingenious, was smiling as he handed Sara and notebook and a pen. After much discussion, Hannah had a small but quality list of people she would be safe with. Catherine, Greg, Brass, Nick, and Warrick topped the list with Jackie and several other trusted coworkers filling in the short roster. To an adult, it seemed like a simple and almost silly exercise. But to Hannah, a little girl who was still very unsure of her surroundings, it made life just a tiny bit more secure.


	15. Highest Salaried Job

I'm terribly sorry for the delay. Life's been a little crazy lately with Graduation coming up this weekend and Grad school starting next week – I haven't had a lot of time to write. But I do value your feedback and love writing this story. So please continue to review. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

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Chapter 15 Highest Salaried Job

The three went home soon after and once Hannah was asleep, Sara spent a few hours at her computer, quietly typing away and methodically avoiding Grissom's questions as to what was keeping her busy. His curiosity had gotten the better of him by the time she was getting ready for bed but he attempted to hide it by pretending to be completely immersed in his latest reading material. She also tried to keep up the pretense of reading.

After fighting to concentrate for an hour, she gave up and rolled onto her side, ready to give sleep a try instead. Grissom removed his glasses and set his book aside, scooting down so that they were at eye level with one another. "Sara?" Her eyes fluttered back open and she looked at him, ready to listen. "Have you thought any more about the university?"

"Gil, it's too much— I probably wouldn't even make it in."

"You already did," he informed her.

"What?"

"I faxed your resume, professional philosophy, and references to the dean two nights ago. She said you're accepted and can start during any term."

"How did you get my philosophy? And it didn't say anything about teaching," she said suspiciously.

"Your philosophy was on your computer, which you allow me to use—"

"Well, I used to. But now that I know you're snooping—"

"And you did write about teaching. In the letter you wrote in support of my nomination for tenure back at Berkley."

"You kept that?"

"It was a flattering letter. A beautiful letter. At least talk to the dean, see what it would entail."

"I will," she promised. She paused for a moment, biting her lip a bit while thinking, "Gil—"

"Hmmm?"

"I turned in my letter of resignation to the lab—"

"I know," he said easily.

"You do?"

"Eckley was too excited not to rub it in," Grissom answered honestly. "I figured you would tell me when you were ready."

"I was going to tell you. I was just scared. It's not something I ever considered before. The lab has been my life for the past five years."

"Mine too."

"This is better," she whispered, snuggling closer to him.

"Family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them," Grissom whispered, quoting one of his many literary sources. It wasn't as intellectual as his usual quips but Sara appreciated the sentiment. Snuggling closer, she whispered,

"I love you."

"And I love you." Three days later, she did set up an appointment with the chair of the physics department at LVU. Dressed in an olive colored jacket dress, she quickly gathered her things into the briefcase that had been a Christmas gift from her college advisor and then collected some of Hannah's things into a small pink book bag. The little girl looked less than thrilled as Sara explained that she would have to stay with Catherine for a little while, but at least she refrained from throwing a fit. Pulling into Catherine's drive twenty minutes later, Sara quickly pulled Hannah out of her car seat and whisked her to the front door, already quite aware that she was running late. Lindsay answered the door, headphones in her ears, and smiled weakly at Sara. She stepped aside and Sara nudged Hannah in and called out to Catherine, who eventually came out of the kitchen, carrying a dishtowel.

"Hey, Sara, Hannah. I'm glad you could come today. We're making cookies. Do you want to help?" Hannah looked up at Sara doubtfully but Sara nodded, indicating that Hannah should go with Catherine.

"Good luck," Catherine called over her shoulder to Sara. Sara felt like she would need more than luck; she had been out of the world of academia for years, she wasn't even completely sure that she wanted to go back. But a promise was a promise. So, resume in hand and stomach churning, she arrived at her appointment with the chair of the physics department.

"Ms. Sidle," the woman said with a smile as she stood and offered her hand, "it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Dean Granger, it's an honor. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to meet with me," Sara said with a smile, settling herself in the chair opposite the woman's desk.

"Nonsense, it's I who should be honored. Your work is astounding. I notice that you haven't published in a while, but you've probably been busy."

"The lab kept me on my toes," Sara agreed, flushing a bit. She was fully aware of the fact that she hadn't truly kept up with recent scholarship.

"That's to be expected. Your lab is one of the best in the country; it's understandable that your time and effort would be concentrated on your work there. I notice that you've recently resigned from your position. Are you comfortable sharing your reasons?"

"Of course," Sara answered with a timid smile. "I have been a forensic investigator for the lab for the past five years under the direction of Dr. Grissom. Recently, I was transferred to a separate shift because Dr. Grissom and I began exploring a more personal relationship."

"And you're leaving your work at the lab to more ethically pursue this relationship?"

"Not exactly," Sara answered, offering the woman a wishful smile. If only it were that simple. "Only about six weeks ago, Dr. Grissom came into guardianship of his five year old niece. She wasn't in the best of environments and needs more attention than we can give her while both working at the lab. I would certainly make my classes and my studies with the department a priority—"

"Sara," the woman said gently, stopping the younger woman mid-sentence. She turned a cherry picture frame to face the brunette and rested her left hand on top of it. "These are my children," she said gently, "fifteen years ago. And I'm thankful for every day I had to spend with them as a result of this university. Putting your family first is not something to apologize for. It's admirable." After offering a warm smile, the woman reached for a folder and slid it across the desk to Sara. "I've read your application. We want you. We've been looking for the proper link between the physics department and the forensics program. I believe you're it. Now, you'll have to complete your master's degree before teaching, but you have barely a semester remaining."

"I'm flattered," Sara said shakily. "But are you sure?"

"I'm a stickler for first impressions," the dean answered, "And I like you. So, I think this will work out beautifully. I've marked the two seminars that will finish off your graduate credits. And then you'll simply need to take department comprehensives before August. And we'll get you enrolled in the PhD program before you know it."

"What would I be teaching?"

"I'd prefer to see you start out with something light, perhaps the freshman honors core of physics. Or the intro to Criminology course also designed for the honors college. Once you obtain your PhD, you'll be able to create your own niche in the department and teach whatever you believe the program needs."

"Wow." Sara looked and felt much like a deer-in-the-headlights.

"I'd like you to observe some of the other entry-level courses while you're completing your master's degree. It will help in planning for your own courses. The timetable is in this packet, along with the forms to register for the seminars you'll need." After a few more moments of discussion, Sara found herself walking back toward her car, her head swimming with the humungous amount of possibilities that lay before her. Once inside her car, she realized that there was a message on her cell phone.

Checking it, she found that Grissom had finally left work and picked up Hannah from Catherine's. She was left with even more time to contemplate her earlier meeting when she arrived home to find that Grissom and Hannah had gone out. Luckily Sara found Gil's hastily scribbled note before she completely panicked.

She spent a little while by herself, changing into jeans and a sweater, making a quick lunch, and even checking her email before deciding that she wasn't going to sit around and wait for Grissom and Hannah. Packing a quick picnic dinner, she called Grissom's phone and then set out for the park where he had been entertaining his niece all day. When she arrived, Sara was greeted happily by an exuberant Hannah. The little girl was simply thrilled to have both Sara and Grissom with her at the same time.

After spending some time playing 'soccer' with them and swinging with Hannah on the 'big-girl' swing, Sara suggested that they stop for their picnic dinner before they started to lose daylight. Hannah was munching contently on an apple slice when she turned her inquisitive blue eyes on Sara and asked,

"When you get married, will you be my parents?" Sara looked up in surprise and her eyes fell on Grissom's confused and frazzled blue orbs.

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The chapter title comes from this quote: _"Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love."_ Mildred B. Vermont 


	16. Confounding Comforts

I'm so sorry. I know that it's been forever since I've updated. But I have good reasons. After the chaos of Graduation and preparing for Grad school, I lost my flash drive. I had been carrying the drive around for about three months (without backing it up – I realize that this is my own fault). I had a good huge chunk of this story and a lot of others that I was working on. After mourning the loss of so much work (including a dozen or so lesson plans that I had to hand in for one of my classes)… I tried to reproduce things the best I could. So, here we go again – hope you enjoy! I've pretty much recovered from losing the documents, so I should be updating regularly. Let me know what you think about this chapter!

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Chapter 16 Confounding Comforts 

Sara and Grissom were both silent for a moment, staring at one another and trying to gracefully digest the question. It was Sara who first turned her warm gaze on the little girl and came up with the best possible answer for the moment.

"Hannah, we love you more than anything in this world. That already makes us your parents."

"We're always going to be here for you," Grissom said gruffly, knowing in the more-rational part of his brain that it was a complete lie. Despite the imperfections and anti-reality of their answer, it was exactly what the small child had wanted to hear. A bright smile graced her expression and she giggled happily as she crawled into Sara's lap and then hugged the woman.

Sara's eyes locked with Grissom's over the child's head and she knew they were in for a serious conversation later that night. They continued to eat their meal in silence, enjoying the warm day and the delicious, satisfying meal. Hannah jumped out of Sara's lap and was walking around the perimeter of the blanket, inspecting the ground for four-leaf clovers. Ever since Sara had informed her that they were a lucky charm, she had been looking for one anytime they were around grass.

Without so much as a warning, Hannah was off like a shot, running across the park toward an unknown destination. "Hannah!" Sara didn't mean to scream, but her heart had fallen when she had blinked and the little girl was gone. The little girl stopped at the sound of Sara's angry and frightened voice and turned guiltily on her heel, looking back at the pair with tears in her eyes. "Hannah, you can't just run away like that," Sara said, as gently as possible, as she approached the little girl in long strides. "Not unless you ask first."

"It's Greg," Hannah said, her lip trembling as the tears threatened to spill. Sara looked up to see that it was Greg, indeed, who was approaching them from the opposite end of the park. He had noticed the little girl and was walking toward them. One hand was on his dog's leash and the other clasped the hand of a pretty young woman; a girl that Sara could almost place, but not quite.

"It's okay," Sara whispered gently as she knelt down to peck the child's cheek. "Just ask next time, deal?" Hannah nodded and smiled, her troubles once again forgotten.

"Hey there, Grissoms," Greg said cheerfully. "Soon-to-be-Grissom," he amended with a nod to Sara.

"Hey Greg," Sara said with a warm smile.

"Hello Miss Hannah. How are you today?"

"Good. We're having a picnic."

"Sounds like fun," Greg replied. "We're taking Woolf for a walk," he explained, looking at his dog, who was patiently sitting at his feet. "This is my friend Lily. Lily, this is one of my coworkers, Sara Sidle. And my boss and her fiancé, Gil Grissom. And this beautiful little girl is Hannah," he said, causing the child to giggle and blush.

"It's nice to meet you," Grissom said, as he reached them and joined the conversation. "You look awfully familiar—"

"I work in the lab. I just started," the girl said quietly, avoiding their eyes.

"I was just showing Lily around town. She's new in Vegas," Greg said, stumbling over his words as he realized that he needed an explanation.

"Greg's a good guy. You couldn't have found a better guide," Grissom said, inadvertently giving them his blessing. Sara stood and swung Hannah onto her hip, putting them all at the same level.

"Why don't you two join us for dessert? We were just about to break it out. There's more than enough," Sara said firmly before either Greg or Lily could argue. They ate the chocolate brownies that Hannah assured them were the best she'd ever had. She may "Greg, what are you up to this weekend?"

"Lily and I were going to check out the zoo lights tonight. It sounds pretty cool." Grissom looked at Greg strangely, trying to decide what zoo lights might actually be. Sara laughed as she began to explain the concept.

"They decorate the zoo with little white Christmas lights and you can walk through and see the animals at night."

"People do this?"

"All the time," Sara answered with a smirk. "I've heard that they actually enjoy it."

"I want to go to the zoo," Hannah said suddenly, looking expectantly at Gil, who looked at Sara.

"We can go," Sara agreed. "Maybe Sunday."

"Can we go now?" Hannah wasn't being rude, she was simply excited at the prospect of extending the day that had already been filled with so much happiness.

"Not tonight," Sara said with an apologetic smile. "I think I'm about ready for bed."

"It's not dark yet," Hannah objected, beginning to pout a bit. Before Grissom or Sara could remind her to mind her manners, Lily spoke up in her soft, quiet voice.

"If you don't mind, we'd love for Hannah to come with us. We won't be out too late."

"You guys are on a date. We couldn't impose—"

"Not a problem. We'd like to take Hannah," Greg said sincerely. Sara only detected the slightest bit of disappointment in his tone, but none at all in his bright expression. She looked around to find four sets of eyes begging her to say yes. Grissom's expression clearly told her that he was terrified of dealing with a disappointed child.

"I guess it's okay," Sara said slowly, "as long as you guys don't mind."

"Not at all," Lily assured her.

"Nope," Greg agreed. "It'll be fun."

"Take your sweater," Sara said with a smile to Hannah. The little girl grinned and grabbed at the piece of pink cashmere before excitedly hugging Sara and then Grissom.

"You have our numbers if you need us," Grissom said to Greg, who nodded as he swept Hannah up, maneuvering until she was ridding on his shoulders. After the young couple and little girl were gone for a few minutes, Sara realized that she and Grissom weren't making any attempts at conversation.

"What are you thinking?" She knew it wasn't the most original question, but he did look so deep in thought at the moment that she hoped the question might lead somewhere. Grissom smiled secretively and pointed toward a nearby tree, out of which a baby bird had just fallen.

"How do we know she's ready?"

"To go with Greg?" Sara asked. Accompanying the question was a strange look and a confused laugh. She hadn't yet reached the point in the evening where things were deeply philosophical and figurative. She hadn't even finished her brownie.

"To do anything," Grissom answered emphatically. "I mean, really, who are we? How can we just decide when she's old enough to go places without us? With a friend? With which friends? The list goes on…"

"We'll figured it out together," Sara cooed reassuringly, scooting closer to him on the blanket and pulling his arms around her so that their hands could be comfortably intertwined in her lap. "For now, she's safe."

"With Greg?"

"With Greg."

"If she comes home wanting to listen to that hard rock stuff and dye her hair green, I'm blaming you."

"She's four years old. She won't even eat green food. She won't want her hair that color," Sara teased. She snuggled back into his embraced and watched as the sun began to set over the park, bringing another night to life in the forever-bustling city.

Children and teenagers scurried out of the playgrounds and away from the picnic tables, knowing that they had to be home before the streetlights ignited. Young mothers hurriedly rushed their children from the park, horrific stories of city crime dancing through their harried minds. Sara yawned and stretched a bit, stopping her people-watching long enough to peak at her watch; it was barely eight.

"Do we even know what to do with an evening minus a four-year-old?"

"I do," Grissom whispered seductively, leaning forward to kiss her passionately, pulling away just in time to leave her slightly breathless and frazzled.

"Let's go." Sara packed the picnic basket without regard to organization or care, the extra fruit going into the garbage and several discarded sandwich crusts making it back into the basket along with the glasses, plates, and everything else she could gather within twenty seconds. After making it to the Tahoe in record time, they barely buckled their belts before Grissom pulled out of the lot and onto the road that would lead them home.

"You don't think we're rushing," Sara said questioningly as she hurriedly prepared her keys as they pulled into the drive.

"Five years is not rushing," Grissom answered, turning off the car and practically running to open Sara's door. Taking the keys from her hand, he gallantly swept her off her feet and captured her lips in a soft kiss. He walked quickly up the walk and opened the door to their home with ease, throwing her keys on the hall table and then carefully placing Sara on a living room sofa.

"Gil, the living room?" Sara looked around doubtfully, not liking the public feeling that the living room held with its floor-to-ceiling windows and arched doorways.

"Wait here," he said secretively, turning on the lights and dimming them before going down the hall. Sara shrugged her shoulders and tried not to frown in frustration as she laid back on the sofa and prepared to wait. He had not counted on her exhaustion and so was not expecting her to be falling asleep when he reappeared five minutes later, a bottle of wine in hand.

"Do you want to wait?"

"No!" Sara jumped quickly out of her state of semi-sleep and rubbed the slumber from her eyes. She blushed as she realized how her answer must have sounded. "I mean, who knows when we'll have time alone again—"

"My thoughts exactly," he said as he poured two glasses of wine. Handing one to her, he sat next to her on the sofa and immediately leaned in for a kiss, finding her receptive if a bit sluggish. They continued to investigate the situation, Sara playfully going where no woman had gone in years while Grissom carefully scaled the walls that she had built to protect her fragile heart.

"Let's move this into the bedroom," he suggested gently as he rid Sara of her heavy sweater. Clad in jeans and a lace camisole, she acquiesced and allowed herself to be carried into the candle lit and flower-strewn bedroom.

"How?" She gasped. He set her on the satin covered bed and her awe was clear on her expression as she fingered the delicate white and lavender silken flower petals.

"I've been waiting for this for a long time. For you," he corrected himself. Sitting down on the bed next to her, his face took on a serious expression as he took her hands between his. "Sara, I don't know what I've done right in my life to deserve you, but I'm glad I did. I know it took me too long to figure it out, but I can't tell you how happy I am that you're still here. You complete my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Sara tried to answer but couldn't; tears were streaming down her cheeks and a large lump had formed in her throat; putting her vocal cords temporarily out of service. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Grissom and held on tightly, allowing the tears to flow.

"I love you," she admitted tenderly.

"And I love you," he answered softly, placing a kiss on the top of her brown curls before hugging her closer. Before the beautiful moment could continue, the phone began to ring. Sara sat back and began to wipe at her eyes while Grissom cursed under his breath.

"I turned it off. Only emergency calls can get through from the answering service." Sara nodded; she understood. Unfortunately, in their line of work, there were things that were more important than personal time.

"Grissom," he said gruffly as he flipped open his phone. "Okay," he said calmly, his face frozen and not giving Sara any hints as to his emotions. "We'll be right there."

"Where?"

"Hannah needs picked up from Greg's."

"That couldn't wait a few minutes?"

"Something's wrong. She's taking a tantrum. I could hear her in the background."

"Oh God," Sara whispered as she threw her clothes back on and followed Grissom back out to the Tahoe. They arrived at Greg's apartment in a matter of minutes, thanks to Grissom's decision that this was a situation that called for sirens and flashing lights. Sara reached Greg's door first and immediately went to Hannah when a startled looking Lily opened the door. Upon seeing Sara, Hannah promptly transitioned from sobs and screams to sniffles and hiccups.

"What happened?" Sara demanded, her glare aimed at an already startled looking Greg. She sat down on the soft blue sofa and gathered the tiny girl into her arms, whispering reassurances as she continued to look critically at Greg.

"We'll talk about it later," Grissom assured her, intercepting her immediate need to lash out at somebody. "Greg, I'm sure it wasn't you. She's going through some things—"

"It's cool," Greg said shakily. "We had fun before that."

"I'm so sorry Mr. Grissom, Ms. Sidle. We were fine before she fell asleep, and then she just got so upset—"

"Lily, we told you to call us Sara and Grissom. And don't apologize," Sara insisted. "She's probably just tired. She just wants to be at home." She turned her attention back to the little girl and ruffled her hair gently.

"What happened, baby doll?"

"You were gone," Hannah sniffled; her eyes alight with new tears.

"You wanted to go with Greg, remember?"

"I didn't think you wouldn't be there."

"It's okay now," Sara assured her. "Did you like the zoo lights?"

"They were pretty," the little girl whispered. Grissom interrupted them, holding out Hannah's sweater and jangling his keys; indications that he was ready to be on his way. Once inside the Tahoe, Hannah refused to sit in her car seat, instead begging to sit with Sara. Finally they compromised, putting Hannah into her seat but promising that Sara would sit in the seat beside her instead of in the front passenger seat.

The lights were barely out in Hannah's room when the little girl appeared in the doorway, her thumb in her mouth and her stuffed dog Griss under arm. Sara, who had been turning out lights in the living room while Grissom cleaned up the bedroom from their unconsummated prior plans, was startled when she passed the little girl. Kneeling on the plush beige carpet, Sara found herself at eye level with the obviously exhausted young girl.

"Hannah, what are you doing?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm cleaning up a little before bed. It's late, sweetie. You should be in bed."

"I can't sleep."

"Why not?"

"Monsters," the little girl whispered.

"Oh sweetie," Sara breathed softly, looking around for some sort of answer. She knew the problem was internal; no amount of room searching was going to allow the little girl a peaceful night of sleep. She clearly remembered her own childhood, full of nightmares that had carried all the way through to her adult life. Although she wanted to be able to take the little girl and sleep beside her to keep the monsters way, she knew that all of the books and doctors and experienced parents warned venomously against allowing a child to sleep with her parents; it was apparently an allowance that could cause future problems.

Taking the child's hand, Sara walked back into the bedroom and pulled Hannah with her. Switching on the lights, she patiently went through the room with the now-trembling girl and proved that there were not monsters. At least not in the beautiful lavender and yellow room.

Plunking Hannah back into her bed, Sara switched off the lights and tucked the child back under the plush comforters. "You need to go to sleep, sweetheart."

"There aren't really monsters," the child admitted.

"Really? What's keeping you awake?"

"I don't bad things to happen to you."

"I'm going to be right across the hall. Nothing is going to happen to me or Gil."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"No, sweetie," Sara said softly. "You need to sleep here."

"Please?"

"I'll be right across the hall, baby girl. Sleep tight." Doing her best to ignore the child's pleas and soft cries, Sara left the door open a bit and found her way to the other bedroom, tears dripping from her own eyes as she flopped down on the bed.

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Also -- thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews. I really do appreciate them, even though I haven't been able to respond recently. Please continue to let me know what you think of the chapters -- it helps me continue to write (and to know where I need to improve). Thanks again!

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	17. The Secrets of Parents

Hi everyone! Here is the next chapter – I'm not as confident about this one as I have been of others in the past. It has a lot of medical terminology and even though I've done the research, I'm not sure it sounds realistic or right in the story. You'll have to let me know what you all think so that I can prefect it for the future. Here goes : - )

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Chapter 17 The Secrets of Parents

_"The joys of parents are secret, and so are their grieves and fears."  
_-- Sir Francis Bacon

Grissom stood silently in the hallway outside Hannah's room, listening to the little girl's soft cries die down and then start up again only seconds later, full of fright and anxiety. Shaking his head in despair, he crept silently back to his own bedroom, opening the door to find Sara dressed in a purple satin nightgown, sitting at the window and staring absently out into the chilled Nevada night. "She's still awake," he said quietly as he entered. Sara didn't respond so he crossed the room to her and put his arms around her slim form.

"This can't be normal."

"Not for a normal four year old, no. But Hannah's been through so much in her short life. There's nothing abnormal about her fears."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd like to hear that from a professional. This has been going on for a while. Ever since that first visit to Dr. DeMaurier. There are days where she won't let me out of her sight. And she's been eating and sleeping less. She always seems to have an upset stomach. It just doesn't feel right."

"We'll call Dr. DeMaurier in the morning. I'm sure she'll be able to help."

"What if it doesn't get better?"

"It will," he promised. Leading her to the bed, he tucked her gently under the covers. They were both still wide-awake about an hour later when a soft knocking started at the bedroom door. Before they could react, the door opened slowly and a tiny figure appeared at the foot of their bed.

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Sweetie, it's late. You shouldn't be out of bed," Sara said, her tired voice still full of love and compassion, despite her screaming headache and complete exhaustion.

"I'm not tired," the little girl said with a yawn that gave away her lie.

"I think you might be at least a little tired," Grissom suggested, taking the situation from Sara. He knew that he usually left her to deal with Hannah in the patient, constant, and sensitive way that Sara did. It also occurred to him that Sara was burning herself out more than she ever had at work; raising a child involved far more emotion than any case that have ever been dealt. So, realizing the exhaustion of his fiancé, he took over for the moment and was faced with the frightening little girl.

"Why don't you climb up here," he said, defeated, after looking into her pleading and tearful blue eyes. "But only for tonight, okay?"

"Okay," Hannah whispered. She crawled up onto the large bed, Griss in her arms, and snuggled between Sara and Grissom. "Are you mad?" She posed the question to Sara because she fully realized that she shouldn't have gotten out of bed after Sara had tucked her in for the second time.

"No, baby. I'm not angry with you," Sara promised before pulling her arms around the little girl. "I love you so much, do you know that?" Hannah nodded slightly as she snuggled closer to Sara. Grissom settled himself on the other side of the little girl and turned the lights out. About ten minutes later, Sara could sense that the tiny child was still not even attempting to sleep.

"Close your eyes," she whispered to Hannah after beginning to gently rub the little girl's back in smooth, calming circles. Eventually Hannah fell off to sleep and Sara was surprisingly not far behind her. Grissom continued to lie awake, listening to his loves sleep and offering protection over their slumber.

"I hope we're not overreacting," Sara said the next morning as she dangled a tiny pair of silver hoops from her ears.

"Just think back to last night. We're doing the right thing. The only thing we can do," Grissom answered gruffly as he sat on the end of the bed pulling on a pair of his good shoes. They had to leave in ten minutes for Hannah's doctor's appointment. After the tantrum and insomnia from the night before and previous spells fresh in their minds, they were finally worried enough to contact the doctor.

As soon as Sara had gotten on the phone with Dr. DeMaurier's nurse, the woman had told her to bring the child in at eleven, their first open spot for the day. The episodes that Sara described to the nurse must have been alarming because the doctor actually came on the telephone herself and asked Sara to explain her concerns one more time.

Now they were anxiously waiting for the time of the appointment to come. Hannah, dressed in a navy dress, white sweater, a pair of white lace socks, and a shiny new pair of patent leather Mary Janes, was waiting glumly in the living room. She was making her unhappiness well known; she had no desire to cooperate and go to the appointment.

Brushing the imaginary imperfections from her olive-colored dress one more time, Sara finally picked up her off-white cardigan and stepped out of the bedroom. The ride out of the city and toward Dr. DeMaurier's office was a fairly silent one; no one was composed enough to attempt small talk. Sara was relieved when they weren't even asked to wait; Dr. DeMaurier was ready for them as soon as they arrived. Surprisingly, the kindly psychologist was not alone. When they entered her bright office, they found her having a cup of tea with Dr. Jo, Hannah's pediatrician.

"Good morning Hannah! Sara, Gil," Dr. DeMaurier greeted them each warmly as they filed into the large and open room. "Please, come and join us. Would any of you like something other than tea?" They all declined, but did move to sit on one of the plush sofas.

"Hannah, I hope you don't mind, but Dr. Jo and I thought we might both talk to you today. Is that alright?" Hannah nodded slowly, not sure at all if there was some sort of trick that went along with the doctor's seemingly harmless request. Although she seemed to like Dr. Jo, she seemed a bit distrustful of Dr. DeMaurier, probably because she had suffered traumatic flashbacks during her last visit.

"Do you know why you're here today?" Hannah shook her head, scooting closer to Sara on the sofa. The doctor was sitting across from them, her hands classed loosely in front of her and a friendly expression never leaving her face.

"Well, I'm going to be honest with you, Hannah. Because I think you're old enough to hear this. Sara and Gil are worried about you. Do you know why?" Again, the child shook her head, attempting not to look very interested.

"Have you been sleeping well?" Hannah again shook her head slowly. "Why do you think you've been having trouble?" Hannah shrugged her shoulders the tiniest bit and continued to creep closer to Sara, burrowing herself between the woman and the sofa. "Hannah, would it be easier to talk alone?' The little girl again refused to respond but the doctor continued to smile, showing no frustration.

Dr. Jo stood up and signaled for Sara and Gil to follow her, intending to leave Hannah alone with Dr. DeMaurier. Hannah latched onto Sara when the latter attempted to stand.

"I'll be right back," Sara promised the little girl, but it was to no avail. Reasoning with Hannah did not seem to work, even after every one of them attempted it for the next few minutes. Without warning, Dr. DeMaurier approached the sofa from behind and firmly grasped the little girl, pulling her into a clinch that didn't allow any escape. Hannah screamed and sobbed as Sara and Gil were led out of the room, not stopping even when the door was closed and she could no longer see them.

"She'll be fine in a moment," Dr. Jo attempted to reassure them, as they stood in the hallway, still able to hear the child's cries.

Sara was frozen, standing and listening in horror as Hannah called for her. She attempted to maintain her calm, but it was becoming more difficult with every one of the little girl's cries. Grissom attempted to distract her by leading her down the hall a bit and engaging the pediatrician in conversation. His own true concern lay in her presence.

"Should we be worried? Why exactly are you here?" Grissom wasn't attempting to sound callous, but his worry was causing him to be a bit short with the woman. He stood at attention in the hallway, as though he was just dying to start solving things. That's what he did for a living – address the problem and find the solution. In the back of his mind, he knew this was not going to be quite as methodical as finding a serial killer or locating a kidnapped child.

"Dr. DeMaurier called me after she spoke to Sara this morning. Hannah's symptoms are congruent with several extremely serious disorders. I don't want to alarm you—"

"Too late," Sara interrupted, her tone flat.

"—but while this could be normal stress, it may also be the manifestation of a serious psychological or even physiological disorder."

"How serious are we talking?" Grissom asked the question as his hand snaked around Sara, laying a comforting hand on the small of her back.

"Hopefully, we're looking at post traumatic stress syndrome. We know how to treat it and it's not uncommon for a child who has been under the kind of conditions Hannah has seen. There is a slight possibility of a panic disorder. Right now, simply from what I've been told and what we just witnessed, I believe the most likely possibility is an early onset of separation anxiety disorder. It occurs in children who become unhealthily dependent on one or more adults in their lives. The medical world calls the adults "major attachment figures". We really won't know more until we've had a chance to speak with Hannah and observe her, but I promise you that we're going to find a way to help."

Sara was no longer listening, but instead anxiously staring at the door they had just exited. Dr. Jo sensed her sudden increase in nervousness and motioned for them to follow her into the next room. Again, they found themselves in a comfortable observation room, being offered beverages and plush chairs in which to sit and watch. Sara sat uncomfortably on the edge of one sofa, relaxing only slightly as Grissom sat down next to her and took her hands in his. After about five minutes, Dr. DeMaurier had Hannah calmed down to the point where they could hold a conversation.

"Hannah, are you listening to me?"

"I want to go home."

"I know. And you will. Soon. But first we need to know what's bothering you."

"I want Sara and Gil."

"Hannah, you're a big girl. You've been without them before. What's different now?" The session continued for about twenty minutes. The little girl did reveal that her most pressing fear was that something was going to happen to take Gil and Sara away from her. She also seemed slightly concerned, possibly unconsciously, that she was going to lose Gil and Sara by way of them simply leaving. Although Hannah gave up very little additional information, Dr. DeMaurier seemed satisfied that she understood at least a part of what was happening.

"I think we're done for today. Let's go find Gil and Sara." Hannah raced to the door ahead of the doctor, not willing to wait before finding the two. They had stepped out into the hallway when they realized that Dr. DeMaurier was finishing and so they were there to greet the relieved child. Hannah flew into Sara's arms and after hugging her motioned for Grissom to pick her up. He did so, and she immediately buried her face in his chest; she was done being polite and social for the day.

"Hannah, I need to speak to Sara and Gil for a moment. We're going to go back into my office. You can come as well, but you need to stay across the room with Dr. Jo. Alright?" The little girl nodded against Grissom's chest, content in knowing that she would at least be able to see her pseudo parents. Medical bag discretely in hand, Dr. Jo took Hannah to one side of the room where she had already informed Sara and Gil that she wanted to perform a quick check-up.

"I'm making a temporary diagnosis of Early Onset Separation Anxiety Disorder," Dr. DeMaurier said as soon as they were out of hearing range from the child. "It sounds a lot scarier than it is," the woman said with a calming smile. "From what you've told me about the nightmares, occasional nausea, following you everywhere, and from what I've gotten from my talk with Hannah, I have no doubt that she's suffering from SAD."

"What can we do?"

"There are several choices that you need to consider. Hannah is extremely young for this option, but there is always the choice of medication—"

"No," Sara said quickly, looking at Grissom for support. He shook his head slowly, obviously agreeing with her.

"There is the option of temporarily giving her anti-anxiety medication until other forms of therapy begin to pay off. But that is certainly your decisions. Another choice would be to begin regular therapy sessions. Two, possibly three times a week. We'll work on play therapy, cognitive therapy, and relaxation techniques. It's quite possible that Hannah just simply does not know how to calm herself down when she's frightened. Also, family therapy sessions are always helpful. Including family friends and babysitters might also be beneficial. And we'll work on gradual steps of separation and hopefully get to the point where she'll be as happy as any other child when mom and dad go out for the day."

"Where do we start?" Sara asked the question a bit hollowly and the doctor could see that she was, understandably, overwhelmed.

"By taking a deep breath," the doctor answered kindly, placing a hand reassuringly on Sara's arm. "Hannah takes her cues from you two. And Sara, I can see that you're naturally an anxious person. It's important to remain calm when Hannah has a panic attack or anxiety spell. Not that you're the problem," she said quickly after seeing Sara's expression of sadness, "I'm not suggesting that at all. But Hannah will learn to deal with things in the way you deal with them – so be mindful of that. We'll start therapy sessions on Monday. Until then," she said, reaching over to her desk for a pad of paper and a pen,

"I'm writing a script for a few low-dose sedatives. You don't have to use them, but you'll have them just in case. If Hannah does become extremely anxious or is unable to recover from a panic attack, you'll have them. They'll dissolve in a few ounces of juice – the pharmacist will tell you about other options for administering them. What questions do you have for me?"

"Is this something she's going to be able to get over?"

"Dr. Grissom, with parents like you two, I believe that Hannah will not only 'get over' this road block, but she'll soar," Dr. DeMaurier said with an encouraging smile, "I have no doubt in my mind that this is only a temporary setback to her emotional development. If you have any problems tonight or tomorrow, please call me." She handed Sara a business card that help both her home phone number and her cell phone. "I'll see all three of you on Monday?"

"Yes," Sara said while Grissom nodded. They crossed the room and took hold of Hannah, who was to the point of angry at being kept there for so long. Once inside the car, she put up the same fuss about being near them and so Sara once again was forced to sit in the middle seat, her early childhood years of motion sickness coming clearly to the forefront of her mind. Upon reaching home, Grissom turned around and realized that both Sara and Hannah were sound asleep, one to avoid sickness and the other to avoid any more discussion of her fears.

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**Thanks to : **Adenara Yatman, Faith Kingsley, forensicsgirl, ToMyGrave, Ambient Flames, Ambient Flames, JenB, Ashlei, Almeida's-Angel24, jtbwriter, csi-ds9, ladybug07, Lizzy Sidle, SpectraLady, csibugman, and I appreciate your thoughts and reviews so much! Especially those of you who have been reading all along and letting me know you're there – you inspire me to continue! Thanks again to everyone.

Geeky Annie -- Of course there's nothing wrong with you if you slept in your parents' bed when you were little! Or at least I hope not, because I did the same thing for years when I was afraid of the dark or thunderstorms. But I did read somewhere about the psychological complications (but I chalked it up to a bunch of psycho-babble or bologna). But I thought it was something Sara would remember if she read it in a scienc-y journal. Thanks again for reading; I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Veronica --I know the feeling of being responsible for siblings (and cousins, and neighbors, and stray kids who walk in off the street at lunch time … kidding on that last one) – most of my life has been spent babysitting in some capacity – your siblings with learn to deal; there are some things that are just more a priority than making lunches – but I do hope you got their lunches packed okay (for your sake and theirs) – but I'm glad you got to read the story and that you're enjoying it!


	18. You Smiled

I can't believe it's been almost two months since I've updated. I'm so sorry! You're all such faithful and kind readers – and I go and take two months to post the next chapter. I know it's not a good excuse, but grad school has gotten kind of hectic. I've had some time off though and I was able to write a bit. So here is the next part. I hope you're all still reading and enjoying. Let me know what you think!

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Chapter 18 You Smiled

As they closed in on Thanksgiving Day, Sara found herself with a miraculous amount of time to ponder the holidays that she usually avoided. As she sat in the living room, flipping through a cookbook, she listened to Hannah giggling from the other side of the sofa. She wasn't sure exactly what the little girl was doing; it was supposed to be a surprise. Hannah had been working intently on the surprise since they had woken up that morning. Grissom was working overtime, but only because he had done the unthinkable; he had taken Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off from the crime lab. Catherine had called Sara immediately upon seeing the requested days to make sure that they weren't planning to elope that weekend. The intuitive friend did not know why else the workaholic would have taken off four consecutive days.

As she looked outside and saw that the daylight was beginning to dwindle; Sara fought the sense of panic that was trying to overtake her. A major holiday was arriving and, for the first time in her memory, she had people to truly share it with. In a moment of joy-induced insanity, Sara had invited the entire night shift to Thanksgiving Dinner. Having never before cooked such a feast, she was a little intimidated by the coming day but knew that Grissom would be able to help if she needed him. As she was jotting down a recipe for a particular type of cranberry sauce, Hannah came bounding out from behind he sofa carting a large bag that she secretively carried to her room.

"All done?" Sara asked when the little girl returned.

"All done," Hannah agreed with a grin. "Can we cook now? Aunt Cathy said that we had to make deserts on Wednesday. And it's Wednesday."

"We're not making any deserts, baby doll. All of our guests are bringing them. Cath and Warrick and Greg," Sara explained, her voice fading along with her heart when she saw the expectant smile leave Hannah's expression. "I guess adding a few more cookies to the mix wouldn't hurt," Sara said with an easy smile that caused Hannah to grin back. Grasping hands, the two ladies found their way into the kitchen and began to pull out the ingredients for their very own special Thanksgiving cookies.

"Are you excited about tomorrow?" Sara was measuring flour, carefully sifting it into the ingredients that Hannah was painstakingly mixing with a wooden spoon. The little girl didn't answer this question away, causing Sara to rephrase and repose it.

"I know it will be a good day," Hannah said, rather stoically.

"Are you worried about tomorrow?" She had not before thought about the possibility that Hannah was just as new to the holiday season as she was. No one knew what type of Thanksgiving or Christmas the little girl had suffered through while in the company of the people who had caused her so much pain. "What's wrong?"

There was no response but Sara could see that the small child was having a difficult time mixing the batter in the smooth, even strokes she had been using before. "Hannah, sweetie," she said softly, taking the spoon away, "you need to tell me when something is bothering you. That's the only way I can help." In their time of frequent sessions with Dr. DeMaurier, Hannah was getting much better at sharing her feelings and expressing her anxieties. Sara could not remember the last time she had to work so hard to gain insight into the child.

"I'm not really afraid," Hannah assured her. "I know nothing is going to happen."

"What's not going to happen?"

"Mr. Jack came a lot at Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"I'm so sorry, baby," Sara said sincerely as she gathered Hannah into an embrace. "I'm sorry you have to remember him. But he's never going to hurt you again. And tomorrow is going to be the first of so many great holidays. Okay?" Hannah nodded, burying her face in Sara's shoulder as she bit back tears. Despite her young age, she understood the worry she caused when she cried and had begun to attempt to hold it back. Sara continued to hold her as she carefully walked around the kitchen, turning off the oven and placing the unused eggs and milk back into the refrigerator.

When Grissom arrived home from his last shift before the holidays, he found Sara and Hannah sleeping in Hannah's bed, snuggled together around the ever-wearing Griss. Although not a very old toy, the stuffed animal was well utilized and badly worn in places where Hannah held him throughout the day and while she slept at night. Grissom attempted to leave the room without waking them but his foot landed on a creaking floorboard and Sara's eyes fluttered open immediately.

"Sorry," he whispered. She shook her head, indicating that he didn't need to apologize. Maneuvering herself carefully out from under a sleeping Hannah, Sara was eventually able to free herself and cross the room to greet Grissom with a kiss and a long hug.

"Rough day?"

"A little," she admitted tiredly. Her hands clasping his, she led him into their bedroom and away from the peacefully sleeping child. "How was your day?" She closed the door and joined him at the foot of the bed, falling once more into his warm embrace.

"I closed the Strademeyer case," he said before dropping a kiss along her throat. His nimble fingers were busily working the tiny red buttons on her blouse.

"The wife?"

"Just like you said," he answered quickly, finally liberating her from the red blouse. For the next hour, nothing bad existed in the Grissom household. Gil and Sara were finally able to consummate the love that had been blossoming for more than five years.

Sara's left hand roamed lazily over Grissom's arm as she snuggled deeper into his chest, trying to warm herself without actually moving to grab a blanket. He must have read her mind because, within a matter or seconds, she was covered in the heavy navy comforter.

"Aren't you even trying to sleep?"

"I'm not tired," Sara answered back softly. "You knew you were getting an insomniac before this started," she teased.

"I was hoping to reform you," he answered before dropping a kiss on the crown of her tousled curls.

"I've been this way since birth. My mom used to say that I was the only baby in the hospital who was wide awake for 18 hours of the day."

"Is that so?" Grissom knew it was a lame answer, but he was surprised at the passive way in which she mentioned her mother. Usually, Sara was hesitant to even admit to having a mother, never mind mentioning actual childhood memories. If it weren't for the background check that the city had conducted upon Sara's hiring, Grissom wouldn't even know the woman's name.

"Yeah. I guess things weren't so bad back then. People actually liked my parents enough to visit when I was born."

"Sara," he said, starting to argue.

"This probably isn't a good topic. I want to talk about what we're doing here—"

"Honey, you're awfully good for someone who doesn't even know what it's called," he teased, earning a light smack.

"That's not what I mean. What are we doing with us? The marriage? Hannah?"

"We're building a life," he answered easily, as though he had known the answer all along. "Sara, I want this more than anything."

"Me too. But I worry—"

"I know you do," he answered calmly. Dropping a kiss on her forehead, he pulled away a bit so that their eyes could meet. "But let's try to stop. No more worrying. We're going to enjoy tomorrow." Sara diverted her eyes and silently rolled over, seemingly giving in and attempting sleep. Twenty minutes later, just as Grissom was in those vital moments when consciousness drifted into sleep, she spoke again.

"Do you ever think about having your own kids?" Grissom's eyes shot open, his heart immediately beginning to race.

"Do you?"

"I asked you first," Sara said defensively.

"I never had before. But ever since Hannah's come along, I have thought about it. They were always our kids," he said emphatically, drawing closer to her in the dark. "You?"

"Oh, I always thought my kids would belong to Brad Pitt," she said dryly, her animated voice carrying her bright smile through the darkness. "But you were always plan B," she said, her assurance mocking.

"I don't know if I can play second fiddle," Grissom said, his tone overly serious. "You may have to give up Brad." After a pregnant pause, Sara answered in a tone that gave away how difficult it was for her to repress her bubbling laughter.

"I guess Brad and I will just have to wait for the next live time."

"Oh, I don't think so," Grissom answered, his voice warm and serious as his arms wrapped around his soon-to-be-wife. "I can't bargain for anything less than forever. This life, and everyone that follows."

"When was it?" The question threw Grissom a bit, but he went with it, realizing that Sara in an unusual mood - she was not nearly this emotionally open.

"When was what?"

"When did you know you loved me?"

"That's easy," he whispered softly, his breathe gently tickling her ear. He then offered his explanation using one of his Shakespearean lines of wisdom in a tone so lovingly that it sent a shiver down Sara's spine – "When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew."


	19. Tis a Gift

Thanks for the reviews! Here is the next chapter – I hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 19 'Tis a Gift

Sara was woken on Thursday morning by the slow but consistent stirring of her senses. Sweet aromas of blueberry muffins and strawberry filled French toast wafted down the hall while tiny bursts of giggles reached her ears and gently roused her heart. Just as she was sitting up in bed and lazily running her fingers through her sleep-tousled curls, the door cracked open and baby brown curls popped in through the crevice as Hannah attempted to listen for movement.

"Bet you can't find me," Sara whispered, trying not to laugh as she buried herself back under the covers.

"Sara, where are you?" Hannah was playing along, pretending to look for Sara in the hamper and the closet before pouncing on the bed and pulling back the soft covers. As she did, Sara pulled the little girl into the mess of blankets and began to tickle her, resulting in a whole lot of giggling from both sides. When Grissom came in bearing a breakfast tray, he found the two ladies laughing from under a pile of blankets that had somehow reached the plushy carpeted floor.

"I can't bring breakfast in bed if you're not in bed," he said, his eyes twinkling as he set the food on a nearby dresser. Helping Sara to her feel, he swept both she and Hannah back into bed before pulling the covers over them.

"Hmm," Sara said with a playful smile, "a girl could get used to this. It smells delicious," she said as Grissom handed her the tray and sat down across from her on the bed.

"The turkey smells even better," Hannah said slyly.

"Turkey already? What time is it?"

"11," Hannah said proudly, after glancing at the clock.

"I didn't mean to sleep that long," Sara said in a panic ridden voice. "I need to get up," she said, pushing Grissom out of the way and making her way out from under the covers.

"Sara, everything is fine. We've got time."

"Easy for you to say," she said, her eyes fixed and her voice sarcastic. "No one ever blames the man if Thanksgiving dinner turns chaotic—"

"What about when the man is the one cooking?"

"That really doesn't matter," she said dismissively, rummaging through her closet until she came across a long, flowing black woolen skirt and a delicate burnt colored silk sweater. Grissom sat back against the headboard and observed the scene side-by-side with Hannah. They attempted not to laugh as Sara ran around the room, picking out pieces of jewelry and hunting through the closets for a specific pair of shoes.

"Aunt Catie and the boys aren't coming until tonight," Hannah told Gil, her voice hushed. "How come Sara's worried?"

"Because she's a girl," he answered back, his voice maintaining a similar whisper as he watched Sara panic. "Should we tell her they're coming early?" Hannah shook her head, her eyes following Sara as she reached for a strawberry from the breakfast plate. A few hours later, the chaotic atmosphere of the Grissom household had quadrupled and Sara had become more antsy with each new guest arrival.

Her friends were stunned to see her dressed up for the evening but also enjoying the sight of a happy Sara. Hannah trailed Sara as closely as possible, having decided early in the afternoon that she was going to be in one of her more reclusive moods. She was dressed in a black satin party dress, a burnt orange shawl trailing behind her as she followed Sara from room to room.

"That's the girl I wanted to see," Brass said with a friendly smile as Hannah appeared in the room closely behind her pseudo mother. She wrapped her arms around Sara's legs, clinging tightly as Brass attempted to pick her up.

"She's being shy today," Sara said, excusing Hannah's behavior.

"That's alright," Brass said, stepping back a bit as he began to understand the situation. "I'm just happy to see two such beautiful ladies. It almost makes me forget about the turkey."

"Speaking of turkey," Greg said excitedly, popping up behind Brass, "is it time to eat yet?"

"Greg," Lily admonished shyly, blushing at his forwardness.

"It's alright," Sara told her quietly. "Dinner is ready. And we expect such poor manners out of Greg."

"Alright, everyone in the dinning room," Catherine bellowed over the dull roar. Sara hadn't realized how noisy it was going to be that evening. With the football game in the background, Warrick and Nick cheering in front of it, Greg playing some mindless video game with Lindsay on the other side of the room, and everyone else holding various conversations, the house practically vibrated from the din. As they gathered around the table, Sara noticed for the first time that it was not exactly as she had first set it.

The china that Grissom had surprised her with a few days prior was glistening on the smooth navy table cloth while flowers floated in a candle lit centerpiece. The napkins and crystal goblets were exactly as Sara had placed them. On top of each plate, though, was a sight that brought tears to her eyes. Hannah's project, which had been kept such a secret from Sara, had been to create beautiful little place cards. In the center of each, in a neat but childish writing was a familiar name. Her own glittery card, instead of saying Sara, boasted a beautifully scrawled _Mom_. She wiped at the salty tears with trembling fingers before sweeping Hannah into her arms and hugging her closely.

"Thank you," she whispered lightly.

"The table looks beautiful," Catherine said helpfully, pulling out the chair in front of her own "Aunt Catie." The boys also took their seats, waiting uncomfortably for the Grissom family to join them. Although they loved Sara, they were not sure how to deal with her new life. Or the fact that she cried. In front of them.

"Aunt Catie said it would be okay. And Dr. Mary too."

"It's better than okay," Sara whispered back, smoothing the child's curls as she set her down on the floor, kneeling in front of her so that their eyes could meet. "It's perfect. Thank you. I love you so much."

"I love you too," Hannah said, hugging Sara again. "Can we eat?" By that time, her voice had gotten loud enough that the whole table heard. Laughter filled the room as Sara helped Hannah into her chair and then sat in her own chair. Her momentary happiness was enough to distract her from the fact that she was a mess from the tears, but no one minded. Pretty soon the room was filled with compliments on delicious smells wafting from the center of the table. As Greg reached for the bowl of potatoes, Catherine smacked his hand.

"Hey!" He turned his eyes toward Sara, looking for sympathy.

"Were you raised in a barn? It's Thanksgiving. We have to say what we're thankful for." There was a collective groan but Catherine ignored them, her stubborn expression telling them that they weren't going to eat until they cooperated. "I'll go first. I am thankful for my beautiful daughter," she said, looking at Lindsay, who was playfully rolling her eyes. "And for my wonderful friends and coworkers." She looked at her daughter, who continued in her adolescent, almost squeaky voice.

"It's thankful for my mom. And my friends. And because Grissom made dinner and Sara just set the table."

"Lindsay!" Catherine yelled just as Nick grinned and nodded,

"I'll have to agree with that one."

"It's okay," Sara said with a wink at Lindsay, "I don't eat my cooking either."

"Since that's unanimous, it's my turn," Greg said, interrupting the potentially volatile mother-daughter moment between Catherine and Lindsay. "I'm thankful for my family. I'm equally thankful that Grissom didn't give me enough time off to go and visit them. I always have to sit at the kid's table there."

"I tried to make up a kid's table but Hannah and Lindsay didn't want to sit with you," Sara said matter-of-factly.

"That's harsh." Pretending to be hurt, Greg continued. "I'm also thankful for my coworkers, and I'm thankful that I don't have to stay in the lab all the time. And I'm thankful for Lily. Because she's really pretty. And I think she's the girl my mom always told me I'd find." At this, Lily turned bright pink. "I'd be really thankful," Greg said slowly, "If she'd agree to become my wife." As he was speaking, he had pushed his chair back and positioned himself next to Lily, on one knee.

"Oh my," she said softly, staring at the velvet ring box and then at Greg. "Oh my."

"I know it's sudden—"

"Yes."

"Yes?" Greg looked up, his eyes bright with disbelief. He knew he had been taking a chance, asking her so soon and in front of his extended family.

"Yes," she said again, her voice still soft.

"She said yes," Greg said, in disbelief, as he looked to Grissom for affirmation.

"I heard," Grissom answered, nodding and smiling slightly in approval.

"This calls for a toast," Nick said, popping open the bottle of champagne that had been sitting in front of him. Passing the glasses around the table, he waited until everyone had a glass and the two young ladies had a bit of apple juice. "To family." They all repeated the toast, raising their glasses before taking sips of the vintage drink. Catherine, always the observer, could not help but notice that none of the frothy liquid ever touched Sara's lips.

"Well, I'm thankful for my job, which I enjoy greatly. And my family in Texas, who I love dearly. And my family here in Vegas. You guys make me remember why I took this job. To help people, and to protect the people I love. And the people that are loved."

"That was beautiful," Sara said, fully aware that it was her turn.

"I'm thankful for my own beautiful daughter," she said, her words full of warm emotions. "And for Gil. I'm also thankful for all of you," she carefully glanced around the table, locking gazes with each of them, "my friends. Without you all, I would not have made it through this year." They all looked at Grissom expectantly, as it was his turn.

"_Not what we give, but what we share, for the gift without the giver is bare_."

"You're supposed to use your own words," Greg whined, recognizing the quote of James Lowell.

"Wise words are always appropriate," Grissom said calmly.

"He's saying he's thankful we're all here," Sara supplied helpfully.

"Well, so am I," Warrick said with a warm smile. His face turned serious, "but we're got to eat. The Miami game starts in twenty minutes. Sorry Sara."

"Yeah, Sara. It's nothing against you. But football—"

"Hey, I'm all for football," she said, her smile calm and friendly. "But if you guys get up from this table before dessert, I'll single handedly make sure you're never able to watch football again. Got it?" They both gulped, nodded their complete and utter understanding. Brass said a few words and dinner started. It was quiet for a few minutes as everyone began to eat but pretty soon the room filled with happy conversation and brotherly jokes as Nick and Warrick decided it was their responsibility to embarrass Greg since his biological brothers were not there to do it.

Sara thoroughly enjoyed herself, talking with her friends and with Hannah, who was busy explaining how she had made the place holders and how Grissom had very patiently taught her to write all of the names. As the evening continued on, she stopped enjoying herself just long enough to realize that this was the first Thanksgiving where she had truly been thankful for her life. And what a beautiful life it was turning out to be.


	20. The Valley of Love and Delight

Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm so glad that everyone is enjoying the story. It's especially nice to know that new people have found the story (and the show). I truly appreciate all of the feedback and am always excited to read what you all have to say about the chapters. It's not in my nature to update so quickly, but I'm on a roll, so I'm going with it. I hope you enjoy this chapter – please, share your thoughts!

Chapter 20 Valley of Love and Delight

It was not long after dinner that Lindsay fell asleep, leaning against the sofa, and Warrick carefully carried her to Grissom and Sara's bed. Soon after, Sara noticed that Hannah was rubbing her eyes and rolling them, as though trying to keep awake so that she didn't miss a moment of the festivities. Finishing up her conversation with Nick, Sara gathered the little girl into her arms and held her while she talked to Catherine for a few minutes. The two women, although still not terribly close friends, had become much friendlier with Sara out of the lab.

Half way though their conversation about the new technology the lab was trying to incorporate, Sara realized that Hannah was sound asleep.

"That has to be one of the best feelings in the world," Catherine said in glowing reference to Sara holding the sleeping child. Her voice was wistful but at the same time happy; the mothering instinct that had always played between her and Sara was reacting favorably to the fact that the younger woman was finally content.

"I should probably put her to bed," Sara said, excusing herself. As she stood, Nick appeared behind her and gently took the sleeping child. "Thanks Nicky." She followed him down the hall, and watched as he carefully laid Hannah on her bed before excusing himself. Removing the child's shoes and stockings, Sara went to the closet for a nightgown and returned to find Hannah's eyes fluttering open.

"It's time for bed," Sara assured her in a soft voice. She played with Hannah's hair for a moment, her exquisite engagement ring sparkling on her slim, pale hand. Smoothing a few of the dark curls away from the tiny child's face, Sara offered her a bright smile. "Did you have a good day?" Hannah nodded, too tired to answer otherwise. "Good," she murmured as she pulled the little girl into a sitting position and carefully freed her of the satin dress. Hannah leaned tiredly against Sara, sighing deeply as the woman rubbed her back and dressed her in a warm nightgown. Once she was tucked back under the covers, the little girl rolled onto her side and curled up around Griss, completely lost to sleep.

"Love you, baby doll," Sara said softly, leaning down to drop a kiss on the child's forehead. Sitting for a few minutes to make sure that she really was asleep, Sara eventually left the room and rejoined the party that was still alive and well in her living room.

Catherine and Gil both had serious expressions on their faces as Sara rejoined them and the young brunette was immediately worried; they looked entirely too serious.

"Catherine wants us to get married tonight," Grissom said, his eyes focused in annoyance at the blonde.

"Not tonight," she spat back, "I just think you should set a date."

"What's the rush?" Nick's comment was unwarranted, causing Sara and Grissom to become suspicious. Why would Nick care when they planned the wedding.

"It depends on what kind of wedding Sara wants," Grissom said slowly, looking to her for help.

"Small."

"See? You could do small in a matter of weeks. Why wait? You already have a kid."

"Catherine, this is our decision," Grissom said firmly. "I don't think Sara wants to rush. Or be bullied into it."

"I've waited five years," Sara answered sarcastically. "And despite appearances, I'm not getting any younger."

"See?" Catherine was smug as she sat down on the sofa next to Brass, who looked like he wanted to help his friend but didn't quite know how.

"Do you want to set a date?" Grissom's question was focused on Sara, but the entire room was intently listening for her answer.

"Everyone that matters to me is here," Sara answered quietly, "I don't have a reason to wait."

"How about the week before Christmas? It gives us a little time to plan."

"That would be great," Sara answered, a small smile gracing her lips. She would have to thank Catherine later. She watched out of the corner of her eye as Catherine gleefully received money from the guys. So they had bet on her, and lost. Served them right – she wasn't nearly as predictable as they thought.

"JP?" Catherine was visibly excited, jumping ahead of the couple with plans.

"Can we talk about that later?" Sara asked Grissom the question, completely ignoring Catherine. "We should discuss it a little."

"Of course," Grissom answered, a bit confused. He had never known Sara to be religious; he had expected her to immediately jump at the idea of a Justice of the Peace. Perhaps he had been wrong. He hoped so, because his mother would probably be very upset if he were married outside of a church.

"I want to get married in the Church," Sara said abruptly. She spoke as though it was something people normally said while drying dishes.

"I didn't know you went to church," Grissom answered honestly. "Presbyterian?"

"The Church," Sara repeated. "Roman Catholic."

"I didn't realize you attended. Or that you were Catholic."

"It was the only steady thing when I was growing up. No matter how much hitting or yelling went on in the house, mom would always kick my brother and me out the door and tell us to go to church on Sunday mornings. It was the only two hours of the weekend when I felt safe."

"Do you still go?"

"Every Sunday. Guardian Angel. 8 am Mass," she answered quickly, avoiding his eyes. She knew that it was unscientific. The reason that she had never shared her beliefs with Grissom was because she admired him too much. She did not want him to think any less of her for believing in something that was traditionally riddled with ceremony and superstition.

"I take it that you don't visit friends then," Grissom accused quietly. He was referring to the fact that she disappeared every Sunday morning under the guise of meeting friends for breakfast.

"I'm sorry I lied. I didn't know how you'd feel about that part of my life. And I didn't want you to think less of me—"

"Sara," he said seriously, stopping her fidgeting hands by placing them in his own, "I don't think any less of you. I love you. And if church is important to you, I'm willing to give it another try."

"Really?"

"Really," he answered sincerely. "I'd like to go with you this Sunday."

"Thank you," she answered quickly, offering him a shy but meaningful smile. He had done more to gain her respect and admiration in the past five minutes than he had done in the previous five years. Grissom's mind reeled as he thought about the possibilities of finding himself in church services after all those years. But if it happened to be important to Sara, he would have to give it another try. They continued to wash and dry the dishes in relative silence, listening to the clamor of their friends who were still enjoying themselves in the next room.

Lounging sleepily against her pile of pillows, Sara watched in amusement as Grissom attempted to undress and get into bed quietly. Thinking she was asleep, he was attempting to be as quiet as possible, which of course meant that he was making noise akin to a heard of elephants.

"Brass left?" She asked quietly, letting him know that she was awake.

"Just now," Grissom answered, climbing into bed. "He had a great time. Everyone did."

"So did I," Sara answered, her happy smile reverberating through her voice. She rolled onto her side and turned her crystal bedside lamp to its lowest setting. Sitting up in the dim lighting, she reached into the nightstand drawer and pulled out a carefully wrapped box, which she handed to Grissom. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Thanksgiving isn't a gift holiday," he said, slight alarm apparent in his voice. "I know, I checked with Catherine _and_ my mom."

"It's okay," Sara replied. Her laugh was light and, for a moment, he realized that her expression was one of complete happiness. "It's just something little. Open it." Upon her urging, he gently lifted the box top and peered inside. His eyes flew open wide and for a moment, Sara feared that he might pass out from the shock. He was silent, staring from the box and then at Sara, trying to grasp the concept of her gift.

"You're—" She nodded, her face lit up with a bright smile. "I know it's unexpected, but I hope you're okay with it." He nodded, unable to answer but not wanted her to think that he was upset.

"You're having a baby? We're having a baby?" He looked at her, his expression and voice panicked, "We don't know how to have a baby."

"We'll figure it out," Sara answered with a happy laugh. She crawled into Grissom's lap, carefully pulling her arms around him and hugging him tightly, letting him know that she was okay with his slight shock. Her own disbelief had been prominent until earlier that morning, when she'd gotten the results from the blood test she'd asked Doc Robbins to run.

"Thank you." She'd barely heard them, but the whispered words meant the world to both of them.


	21. Christmas in the Heart

Here is the next chapter – sorry again about the weight. I'm not sure I'm thrilled with this chapter, but it gets the story in the right direction, so I'm leaving it. I hope you all enjoy! Please let me know what you think! Thanks so much for all of you that have reviewed in the past – it keeps me inspired.

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Chapter 21 Christmas in the Heart

Sara groaned softly from her cocoon of warm blankets as the alarm gave off a shrill warning. It was not the rude and abrupt manner of being awoken that bothered her; it was the overly cheerful Christmas carols that were sure to follow. Although she normally loved Christmas, she felt it was coming entirely too quickly this year, giving her no time to prepare for the perfect holiday. And perfect it had to be, if Sara had anything to say about it.

She was immediately aware upon awaking that she was not alone in the spacious master bedroom. Sure enough, as she opened her bleary brown eyes, she caught sight of a particular young child, sitting on a sofa in the corner of the room, curled up with a soft blue blanket and one of her _Magic Treehouse _books.

"Good morning," Sara said brightly, stretching as she sat up amidst the warm blankets and comforters. Her brunette hair, freshly cut and styled into shoulder-length locks, fell haphazardly in front of her eyes as she moved. She shook it out of the way and cursed herself for allowing her hairdresser to try something new; it was a hassle, even if it did look sort of amazing.

"Morning," Hannah answered with a smile.

"How long have you been awake?" The little girl was still in her nightgown and the braids that Sara had plaited into her hair the night before, but she looked very alert despite the dark circles under her eyes.

"I only woke up when papa came home. He had a break," Hannah informed Sara timidly. She was a bright child and was fully aware of how worried Sara and Gil were about her; especially her recent sleeping habits.

"Did he leave a note?" The child nodded as her gaze fell momentarily on the nightstand before she turned back to her book.

"Hannah, sweetie, Gil was here at four this morning," Sara said after she read the short note. "Have you been awake since then?" Hannah nodded, pretending to be so entranced in her book that she failed to look up at Sara. Knowing that nothing could be solved in that moment, Sara held back the urge to lecture the young girl; it wouldn't help matters and they certainly didn't have the time. "We'll talk about this later," she added, offering the less than subtle hint that the subject was not closed. "But today we have a full day ahead. We'd better get ready."

"What are we doing?"

"Lots," Sara answered cryptically. "But first we're going to breakfast with Greg and Lily." Hannah grinned and jumped up off the sofa; she absolutely loved Greg and Lily. After their initial rocky venture together, the three had a smooth and happy relationship. Lily, Greg, and Catherine were the only people that Hannah would stay with at this point. It had been a month since they'd started regularly going to Dr. DeMaurier and while both adult saw measurable improvement, it was still upsetting that Hannah couldn't be without at least one of them for more than about an hour. After that, she still got fidgety, nervous, and physically ill.

"Go get dressed, kid-o. I'll be there in a minute to help with your hair."

"I'll wait for you," Hannah said simply, sitting patiently at the antique walnut vanity table that Grissom had bought to tastefully hide Sara's makeup and hair things. She had been thrilled to find it one day, sitting next to the window with a large bow tied around it. Although Grissom was not aware of this until after his purchase, she had spent much of her childhood wanting a similar vanity.

"That's okay. I need a few minutes to get ready. You go and pick something to wear while I get dressed."

"Can you come and help me pick?" Sara bit back a sigh; she could tell that this was going to be one of Hannah's more difficult days. Sometimes she was able to spend the entire day playing on her own as long as she knew where Sara or Gil happened to be. On other days, such as this one was appearing to be, she followed them from room to room, panicking if one of them disappeared into the bathroom. Sara knew that, with the day they had ahead, it was best to go along with the child.

As she stood, it was hard not to smile as she felt the small bulge that had begun to show at her waist. Hannah had not become aware of anything different and they were trying to decide the best way to tell her. Loosely securing her bathrobe around her nightgown, Sara took Hannah's hand and they went into the little girl's room to find suitable attire.

After a quick consultation of the closet, Sara helped Hannah decide on a red sweater, red and black plaid skirt, and a pair of white stockings with black Mary Jane shoes. Once she was dressed, Hannah followed Sara back into her bedroom and watched as the woman dressed in black slacks, a fitted red sweater, and a beautiful silk scarf that had been another gift from Grissom. Sara was not sure who had finally indicated to Grissom that giving gifts was a good idea, but she wished to thank him or her; she was certainly enjoying it.

The ride to the restaurant was quick, luckily for the sanity of Sara. She really needed to get used to the Christmas Carols that Hannah, not knowing them well before, already loved in the few days since the radio stations had begun to play them. Since Sara had never before had someone with whom to meaningfully spend the holidays, she had never allowed herself to enjoy the accoutrements of the season. They spotted Lily right away, sitting alone at a table toward the back of the restaurant.

"Good morning," Lily said kindly, her voice sweet and soft as usual. Sara knew that the bright young girl would remain in the lab for the rest of her career; she was much too timid and sensitive for the field. On the other hand, she was simply a brilliant asset in the lab, a fact that was asserted by every member of the team at one point or another.

"Hey," Sara said, her friendly smile beaming as she settled Hannah into a chair and then took her own spot across from Lily. "How are you?"

"Good," the younger woman said, her voice wavering ever so slightly. As they sat and looked at the menu, Sara carefully took inventory of the situation; Lily had shown up without Greg. On top of that, the petite scientist usually appeared perfectly put together from her tiny crystal barrettes to her perfectly painted nails. Chipped, worried nails clutched the green menu. As Sara took a critical second look, she realized that Lily's glistening hair wasn't curled as usual and her blouse showed a bit of wear, despite the fact that it was still early in the day.

Broken out of her investigative mode by a tug on her arm, Sara turned to see Hannah trying to get her attention. "Can I get Belgian Waffles?"

"If that's what you want," Sara consented. "That sounds delicious. What about you, Lily?" Lily barely answered, quietly saying that she hadn't decided yet. Breakfast continued uneventfully, filled with Hannah's chatter and Sara's occasional comment. Hannah's newest interest while out was to inspect every restroom that they came into contact with. It made Sara, who tried never to enter public restrooms, cringe every time the child announced that she had to use the ladies' room. In the interest in keeping her breakfast where it was, Sara waited in the hallway outside the restroom, warning Hannah to wash her hands when she was done.

"Lily, is everything okay?"

"Not really," the young woman said honestly, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I'm sorry, you don't need to worry about this—"

"I like to think we're friends," Sara said gently, "I'm here to listen. What's up?" Lily was silent, turning slightly so that Sara could no longer see her as tears flowed down her pink cheeks. Before either woman had a chance to speak, Hannah appeared in front of them, watching inquisitively.

"Mama, what's wrong with Lily?"

"Nothing, sweetie," Sara lied as she pulled a small bottle of hand sanitizer from her purse. Motioning for Hannah to hold out her hands, Sara gave her a bit of the lotion, making the small girl sigh.

"I washed my hands," she objected.

"Public bathrooms are very dirty," Sara informed her. "Use it." Hannah obeyed but rolled her eyes, letting Sara know that she thought it was a silly precaution. As they pulled their coats on in the restaurant lobby, Sara caught sight of the time and continued with a renewed sense of hurry.

"Lily, why don't you come over tonight? Grissom and Hannah are going out. We can have a girl's night in," Sara suggested carefully, watching for the younger woman's reaction.

"That would be nice," she answered somewhat shakily.

"Come over whenever you're ready. I should be home around 4."

"Bye Lily!" Hannah waved happily before taking Sara's hand and skipping toward the car. She talked a good portion of the ride, not paying any particular attention until she noticed that Sara was pulling into an unknown parking lot. Before Hannah could panic, she noticed that they were pulling in next to Gil; he was standing outside waiting for them.

"Where are we?" Hannah looked suspiciously at the large stone building in front of them and then back at Sara, who was helping her out of the car seat.

"This is going to be your school," Sara explained, taking a moment to look around. "We don't have to stay today. We just came to visit so you can look around and meet your teacher."

"I don't want to go," Hannah said firmly, standing her ground as Sara pulled gently at her hand.

"Let's at least take a look," Sara pleaded, stooping in front of the child so that their eyes met. "If you don't like it, we'll find somewhere else. But you have to give it a chance, all right?" Hannah nodded, her expression miserable as she sighed and took Sara's hand. As soon as they reached Grissom, a woman came to the door and ushered them inside.

"You must be the Grissoms," she said pleasantly, smiling as she pulled the door close and then led them into a nearby office. "Dr. Ann is expecting you," she said. "I'm Mrs. McClure, Dr. Ann's secretary. May I take your coats?" She took their three coats and hustled out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. Sara sat on one of the large leather chairs and remained quiet as Hannah climbed into her lap. Grissom remained standing until another woman entered the room, this one dressed in a classic, sophisticated manner.

Her black pantsuit and red silk blouse were striking with her dark hair and bright green eyes. Offering them a glistening white smile, the woman closed the office door and walked closer. Instead of introducing herself to the adults, her attention focused immediately on Hannah, who was still perched nervously on Sara's lap.

"You must be Hannah," she said brightly, offering her beautifully manicured hand to the tiny girl. Hannah looked at her skeptically for a moment before accepting the hand and shaking it as best a five year old can. "I'm Dr. Ann Battiste. But everyone here calls me Dr. Ann. I'm the headmistress here at _Queen of Angels_. I'm so glad you came to visit today."

"Thank you," Hannah said politely, still uncertain how to take the situation.

"Who did you bring with you?" After a moment of silence from Hannah, Sara started to speak but Dr. Ann raised her hand slightly, indicating that they should wait. Hannah did eventually answer, introducing the adults quite eloquently in a soft, tiny voice.

"It's nice to meet you both," after shaking hands with both Sara and Grissom, the woman turned her attention back to Hannah. "I was thinking we could go on a tour first and then we'll introduce you to Mrs. Gregson, your teacher. How does that sound?"

"Okay." Hannah latched on securely to Sara's hand as they exited the spacious office and began to walk through the large stone hallways. The extroverted headmistress took them on a tour through the cafeteria, gymnasium, music room, and art room. After the art room came Hannah's absolute favorite; the library. It was large but most of the shelves were low, sitting at a convenient height for their most important customers.

"Do you like to read?" Hannah nodded absently as she walked among the shelves, her tiny fingers tracing the titles. She stopped about three feet away from them, looking puzzlingly at the shelves of books. "I can't read this one," she said, her voice conveying a slight panic. Before Sara could reach her, Dr. Ann let out a wholesome chuckle.

"Those are in German, darling. We have many books in different languages. Would you like to learn to read them?" Hannah nodded eagerly, tentatively pulling at one of the books and revealing the cover of a magic tree house volume.

"It's the Magic Tree House!"

"But this one was published in Oberammergau instead of in New York," Dr. Ann explained patiently, smiling at the tiny girl's excitement. Sara stood back and watched, tears welling in her eyes as she realized that Hannah would be just fine in school; she wouldn't be dependent on them forever. She quickly wiped them away as Hannah turned to her and ran over with the book, eagerly telling Sara about the story and how it was probably the same, even though the words look funny. They were able to eventually drag the little girl from the library and walk toward the main hall.

The headmistress indicated to them that they could enter another office, this one situated across from her own. Inside, Hannah let out a tiny, excited giggle.

"Dr. Mary, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you, my darling," the older woman said with a bright smile.

"This is my new school," Hannah explained simply, as though that was perfectly sufficient.

"That is wonderful," the woman said emphatically, kneeling down to Hannah's level. "How do you like it so far?"

"It's big," the child answered. "I like the library."

"It is magnificent. I see you've met my friend Dr. Ann," she said, looking up at the younger woman, who was still standing in the doorway. Hannah nodded, looking questioningly between the two women.

"What are you doing here, Dr. Mary?"

"This is where I work, my dear."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Every day?"

"Every one," the woman confirmed. "Some days not as long as others. I have to work at my private office too."

"What do you do here?"

"Oh, I'm just here to listen. Or talk. Just whenever one of the students wants to come talk to me. You're welcome to come too. You remember that, okay?"

"Okay."

"Now, you go on. You still have to meet your teacher! Have a wonderful day. And I'll see you on Friday, right?" Hannah smiled and turned on her heel, ducking back into the hallway and making her way toward the hall that had already been pointed out to her earlier in the tour. Sara, Grissom, and the headmistress hurried to catch up.

"I think she'll adjust just fine," Dr. Ann said with a smile. Sara smiled back hesitantly, hoping that the woman was right. They stopped in front of Mrs. Gregson's door and Dr. Ann knocked lightly, waiting a few moments until a petite woman with long, gently curled, dark hair opened it.

"Good morning Mrs. Gregson. This is Hannah Grissom, your new student. We wanted her to have a chance to meet her class before she starts with us after the holiday."

"I'm so glad you're here, Hannah," the woman said, her voice a mixture of happiness and magic. "This is such a wonderful day to come. Please, come in. You can bring your parents too." The woman stepped aside; her simple black dress swinging gracefully as she let the group into her brightly decorated room. Although the room was fairly quiet save the light strains of Brahms coming from hidden speakers, the nine children were all working busily.

"Today, we're creating our own winter holiday stories to share with the class. We had the choice to work in groups or alone. We just started now. Would you like to work with us?" Without waiting for an answer, she looked to Sara, "Will you be staying long enough?"

"Is that okay, Hannah?" Hannah nodded, her eyes wide as she took in the scene.

"Wonderful," Mrs. Gregson said enthusiastically. From where, no one could see – but the woman pulled out a bell and rang it once. The result was amazing; eight children immediately looked up and fixed their eyes and attention on their teacher. "_Mes enfants_, we have a new addition to our class. She will be joining us after the winter holidays. But for today she's going to help us with out stories. This is Hannah. Let's introduce ourselves." One by one, the children tentatively walked up to Hannah and told her their names. A tiny blond named Grace was followed by Katrina, Olivia, Serena, Josh, Michael, Matthew, Jason, and Lucas.

After everyone else had gone back to his or her projects, the small redhead named Katrina tugged gently on Hannah's sleeve. "You can help me and Livie. We're making a puppet show."

"That's very nice of you, Katie," the teacher said in genuine praise. When Hannah looked up at Sara for permission to go, her mother nodded, smiling her allowance. The two little girls scampered across the room to a large puppet stage where a small Asian child, apparently Olivia, was sifting through dolls and puppets. After they had gone, Mrs. Gregson turned her attention to the anxious parents.

"I think she'll be busy for a while. You're welcome to leave her for a while, if you still have things to discuss with the headmistress."

"That would be lovely," Dr. Ann said, having just thought the same thing. "We'll go back to my office and finish up a bit of paperwork while the children are working." Sara gave Grissom a worried glace; she didn't want to leave Hannah. Placing his hand on the small of her back, he gently led Sara out of the room, not giving her enough time to object.

"I think Hannah is going to fit in just beautifully," the headmistress said enthusiastically as she perched herself on a chair in her office. "Do you two have any questions yet?"

"Do you have any half day programs?" Sara asked, her voice indicating that she was only slightly kidding. Most of her brain was distraught at the idea of leaving Hannah all day.

"Mrs. Grissom, I understand your concern. But Hannah will be fine—"

"She's been through a lot in her life," Sara argued, ignoring the fact that the woman had mistakenly assumed that she and Grissom were married. It would be the truth soon enough; it was simpler not to argue.

"I'm aware of that. That's the reason this school exists. To make sure that children like Hannah don't grow up with the fear and abuse that's already been instilled in them. Mrs. Gregor is a certified teacher and a licensed children's counselor. Hannah's daily needs will be met with every resource available. And she'll meet with Dr. DeMaurier twice a week, more often if necessary. But from what I've seen of Hannah, I'd say you've already done an amazing job in creating a safe environment for her. Between your home and our school, Hannah will have every advantage in her education and her social experiences."

"This is a good day for her," Sara said stonily. "But she has bad ones too."

"We understand that. The children are never pushed."

"If she can't handle being here on a particularly bad day?"

"You'll be called immediately. I understand this is a hard thing, Mrs. Grissom. But I truly believe that this is a positive place for Hannah. I believe that Dr. DeMaurier thinks so too. She's been recommending Hannah since she first took on her case."

"She's just so young to be in school all day. I don't think waiting another year will hurt—"

"If you come to that decision, I have to respect that. But from my experience, children flourish if placed in the best possible environments as early as possible. Social interaction is key with a child who has been victim to Hannah's years of trauma. The earlier she begins learning and playing in a safe social environment, the less likely she is to have lasting effects from the past few years."

"We want whatever's best for Hannah," Grissom said simply, reassuringly rubbing Sara's hand between his own.

"Then I propose we give this a chance. After the holidays, Hannah can start and we'll talk about her progress from there." The remainder of the meeting was full of paperwork and details, pulling on information that Sara and Grissom has absolutely no way of knowing. Eventually, they made their way back to the first grade classroom where the children were just setting up to tell their stories. Sitting on a carpet in the back of the room, the three adults watched as the bright, energetic children wove stories of Christmas, Chanukah, and many different winter traditions. Hannah played several parts in a puppet show where a fox and a bear learned about the spirit of Christmas.


	22. Reaching for Your Hand

Thanks so much for your reviews - it's always nice to know what the readers think. About the wedding, it hasn't happened yet. It the last chapter, if you look again, it mentions that Sara doesn't correct the woman who calls her Mrs. Grissom. So, she isn't yet, but she hopefully will be. Here is the next chapter, enjoy!

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Chapter 22 Reaching for Your Hand

Determined to make the most of their last days together before school began, Sara made it her mission to entertain Hannah constantly. One week after Thanksgiving, she was attempting to decorate the house for the holidays when she realized that there simply weren't enough decorations, even after she had brought her own meager additions from her apartment. A trip to the hardware store and several decorating stores was apparently in order. Hannah agreed, looking forward to having an input into which ornaments they would purchase.

It was a beautiful day, warm for even a Las Vegas winter. As Sara began to unload their purchases from her vehicle, Hannah proceeded to play in the yard with the neighbor's dog, which had snuck over to visit the little girl. "Do you want to decorate outside first?" Hannah nodded, once again throwing the rubber toy that the collie had eagerly brought with him. "All right," Sara agreed. "I'll be right out. I'll just take these inside— Stay right here." Hannah nodded again, not even looking up as she continued to play with the dog. Sara was in the house for less than two minutes, just long enough to place the bags in the hallway and grab the decorations that they had purchased for decorating the yard.

As she exited the house, two bags of decorations in her hands, Sara caught sight of two cars pulling up the private drive, the leading one sporting the insignia of the LVPD. She walked slowly down the walkway to meet the two people who had parked and were stepping out of their cars. She knew the officer, Kevin, to be a rookie for the department. Although he was fairly new, he had met the two CSIs and had gained much respect for them; he knew that both Sara and Gil took their jobs seriously and always worked in the best interest of the victims and their families. The assignment he had received on arriving at work that morning was his worst yet; he had tried several times to trade with his fellow officers but no one at the department was willing to face an ambushed Sara Sidle.

"Good morning Kevin. Can I help you?"

"Hi Miss Sidle. Sorry to bother you—"

"It's no bother, we were just getting ready to decorate. What's up?"

"This is Miss Gardner, from CYS." Sara attempted not to allow her brown eyes to fall into a glare as she turned to look at the woman who had stepped out of the second car.

"We have an injunction from Hannah's paternal grandparents in Oregon. They're suing for full custody. We'll be taking her into state custody until the matter can be settled."

"You've got to be kidding me," Sara said abruptly, her voice ringing with fear.

"We have every right to place the child into protective custody until a proper hearing can be held," the woman answered evenly, not the slightest bit ruffled by Sara's dark glare and protective stance.

"You're not taking her anywhere," Sara snarled as she snatched the papers that the woman was dangling from between her bright red, perfectly manicured nails.

"Miss Sidle, I don't want to do this, but Miss Gardner has the legal right to take Hannah into the custody of CYS."

"Well, she's not going anywhere until I've at least read these papers," Sara said as calmly as possible, hoping the quick thinking would at least buy her a few minutes. Before either the police officer or the CYS caseworker could respond, Sara felt a slight tugging on her jeans. Looking down, she saw that Hannah had heard them arguing and was standing next to her, trying to reach for her hand.

"Hello Hannah," Miss Gardner said in an over-exaggerated baby voice. Hannah did not respond but instead looked at Sara, silently asking about the presence of this foolish woman.

Sara was frozen for a moment, pulled out of her panic only by the slight breeze that suddenly came along and rustled the papers that she still clasped firmly in one hand. Swinging Hannah onto her hip, Sara nodded to the two intruders and walked toward the house, not stopping her steady pace until she was inside and able to lock the door. Hannah stood helplessly in the hallway, looking to her protector and wondering what had upset the woman who was usually so calm and steadfast.

"Mama, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, sweetie," Sara lied quickly, leading the young girl into her own bedroom. "I'm going to make lunch and call Gil, alright?" She stooped down, putting herself on equal level with the small girl. "I need you to help me, okay?" Her voice was serious and Hannah sensed the tone and nodded, a sincere expression gracing her young face. "I want you to stay in your room, alright? No matter who you hear out there," Sara said, pointing in the general direction of the rest of the house, "I want you to stay right here. Until Gil or I come for you. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise," Hannah said with a firm nod. Sara swept her up into a firm hug and then kissed her cheek.

"I love you so much," she whispered softly.

"Love you too," Hannah said with a scared smile. Sara smiled back, hoping that the young child didn't realize the gravity of their current situation. Making her way to the den, Sara picked up the cordless phone and called Grissom's cell. After reaching his voicemail four times, she realized that he was probably at a scene and unable to take her call. Dialing the next number she knew by heart, Sara prayed under her breath for an answer.

"Hey kid."

"Brass, you have to do something," she spit out in one breath.

"Slow down, Sara. What's wrong?"

"There are people here. They're trying to take Hannah. They have some sort of injunction. From a Judge Hanes in Oregon. I don't know what to do. They can't have her."

"Calm down. We can to fix this. Where's Hannah now?"

"In her room."

"Good. And the CYS rep?"

"Outside."

"Did you try Gil?"

"He's not answering. I tried all of his numbers."

"We'll find him, sweetheart. Don't worry. Do you know if Gil has an attorney?"

"Jason Briggs," Sara answered automatically, wondering momentarily how she even knew that small fact.

"Okay. Here's what I want you to do. Call Jason, get him there. Tell him Gil will be there as soon as possible. And I'll work on getting a court order from Judge Brinkman to keep Hannah with you. All you need to do is call Jason and then stay with Hannah. Alright?"

"Okay," Sara said irritably, not feeling that the situation was improving.

"You did good, Sara. You're doing great. I'll see you soon." After hanging up with Brass, Sara searched for the number for Gil's attorney and found it within minutes. The young man was extremely understanding with the frantic woman and promised to head directly to Gil's home. Once she was finished with that call, Sara fell into a sort of automatic drive. She made a quick lunch, as she had been doing for weeks, and took it into Hannah. The little girl was playing with her dollhouse, making voices for each of the wooden figures as she moved them around into miniature tableaus.

"Hey baby doll," Sara said as brightly as possible as she entered the room. Hannah looked up with a warm smile, genuinely happy to see her pseudo-mother. Just as they were finishing their meal, Sara heard the front door open and excused herself to see who had arrived. She was relieved when she saw not only Brass and Jason, but also Grissom, walk into the front hall. Her smile faded when she saw that Grissom was also inviting the woman from CYS into their living room. The woman was saying something about not being invited in earlier and Sara bristled.

"I'm sure Sara would have had better manners if she hadn't been ambushed in her own home," Grissom said, in a voice that almost begot the fact that he was insulting this other woman. The woman grumbled a bit but stopped scowling as she sat down and rudely turned down Grissom's offer of a beverage.

Sara went immediately to Grissom's side and felt her heart rate slow to its normal pace as he clasped her hand in his and then moved to reassuringly place his hand on the small of her back. As Jason began to speak, Sara allowed her guard to fall and she almost didn't listen to the young attorney; everything was going to be all right, just as long as Grissom was present.

"Well, I don't feel there's much to discuss at this juncture," Jason said bluntly to Miss. Gardner. "We have a court order to keep Hannah in her current arrangement until a proper hearing can be held. And the request for Oregon jurisdiction was already denied by Judge Brinkman as a result of Mr. Grissom's job and the minor's inability to travel."

"Since when is age a factor in ability to travel?"

"It has nothing to do with Miss Grissom's age. Her doctor, Dr. Josephine McKenna, was contacted and upon initial notification, feels that the young girl is unable to travel for long periods of time or distance."

"We will want to perform our own evaluations," Mrs. Gardner snapped.

"Of course. That can be arranged at a later time. For right now, I believe that the Grissoms have been bothered for long enough. I'm sure officer Markovich will be kind enough to show you to your car." Jason spoke quickly and firmly enough that the woman had no time to argue before she was being led out of the house by the amused and relieved police officer.

After they were gone, Jason took a few moments to explain to them what Hannah's paternal grandparents were trying to do and then left to file some paperwork. When he was gone, Sara and Grissom realized that Hannah was standing outside her door, quietly listening to the happenings in the living room. Luckily, the quickly ascertained that she had not overheard anything that might worry or upset her. She merely looked curious when they found her standing in the hallway.

"You were such a good girl today," Grissom said as he picked up the tiny girl. "You helped Sara so much."

"Why is Mama crying?"

"I'm just tired," Sara answered shakily, attempting to stop the tears that were obviously upsetting the young girl. "I'm fine." She stroked Hannah's hair lightly and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "I think I'm going to take a quick nap before dinner." Slowly, she made her way down the hallway and into her own bedroom, where Grissom found her minutes later curled up in a ball on the bed.

"It's okay now," he assured her, his hand falling reassuringly on her back.

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. Jason has it under control."

"I was so scared," she said shakily, the sobs she had been biting back all afternoon finally coming to the surface.

"You did good," he replied firmly, drawing her up into his strong embrace. "You did everything right. And Hannah is going to be just fine. She's not going anywhere. You need to settle down, honey. It's not good for you to be this upset." He had realized that she was shaking quite readily and her pulse was racing. Rubbing her back for a few minutes and whispering reassurances did not work as much as he would have liked. After half an hour of the rapid pulse and what he deemed to be a semi-irregular heartbeat, he went for his phone. Placing a quick call to someone he knew he could trust, he helped Sara into her shoes and jacket.

"What are you doing?"

"Don't worry, we just need to get you checked out."

"No," she whined softly, attempting to pull away from him.

"Honey, your heart rate is not good," he said honestly. "I think you're having a panic attack."

"I'm fine," she said, her hands shaking wildly as she reached up to brush a lock of hair from her eyes.

"I want a professional judge of that," Grissom answered stubbornly. "Cath is on her way over to sit with Hannah. We won't be gone long." Sensing that she had no real choice in the matter, Sara gave in and allowed Grissom to carry her to the Tahoe. Catherine watched in worry as the pair drove off but managed to put on a happy smile to share with Lindsey and Hannah as she engaged them in the activity for the evening; a Disney movie marathon complete with popcorn and pizza. Hannah insisted that Sara didn't allow her to drink soda after dinner but Catherine talked her into it, saying that it was a special occasion.

At Dessert Palms, they waited for an hour simply to see the triage nurse. At that point, Grissom was cranky enough to pull rank. After discovering that they both worked for the city and were fairly high up in the pecking order, a doctor was immediately called. He was a young man, younger than both Grissom and Sara. Sara uncomfortably wondered if he was even as old as Greg.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Lucas Whitter. What seems to be the problem, Ms. Sidle?"

"Nothing. I'm fine—" Grissom ignored Sara's assertion and continued on his own, filling in the doctor on the doctor on the day's events.

"Sara's had an extremely stressful day and I'm worried about her blood pressure. Not to mention the other side effects of stress." The doctor cocked his eyebrow as he flipped through the chart and noted Sara's blood pressure as it had been taken by the nurse.

"I'd like for you to be admitted," he said immediately, causing Sara to cringe. "We'll have to start and IV drip to get this pressure under control. I see that you're expecting. An elevated blood pressure, even for a short time, is not good for the baby."

"I can't stay here," she said immediately, attempting to sit up in the bed,

"Sara—"

"No," she said forcefully, tears welling in her eyes. "I'm not staying."

"Ms. Sidle, we can't allow you to leave with such a high blood pressure."

"You can't keep me here," she said, sounding slightly childish. Grissom rubbed her shoulders reassuringly and whispered something in her ear before asking the doctor to step out into the hall. Once there, Grissom took on a serious, professional tone that was usual reserved for beaurocratic nonsense.

"Dr. Whitter, I understand your concern. Trust me, I share it. But keeping Sara here is not going to help her calm down."

"We can start her on prescription anxiety meds, but I don't feel comfortable releasing her, especially since she's expecting. If nothing else, we need to run an EKG to make sure that her palpitations aren't related to something more serious than stress."

"I know Sara. I've seen her like this before. And she's only going to become more distressed if she stays here. At least at home there's a chance she might rest."

"All right," the doctor finally agreed, realizing that he was too tired to content with the two scientists; it was probably better that they left. "But I'm documenting that this was against my recommendation. She's not leaving until after she starts the medications and has and EKG. And she should see her primary care doctor as soon as possible."

"Agreed," Grissom said with a solemn nod of his head, "Thank you." Less than two hours later, they arrived home to a much larger than expected crowd. Catherine was there with a sleeping Lindsey, but they were also accompanied by Greg, Lily, Nick, and Warrick.

Immediately mortified because all of her friends knew what was going on, Sara hid her face in Grissom's chest as she leaned against him for support. Offering an apologetic glance to his friends and coworkers, Grissom carefully picked up his fiancée and carried her down the hall and into their bedroom. Once she was tucked into bed, he offered her a glass of juice and the small sedative that the doctor had prescribed. Sara looked at it strangely, her expression indicating that she was not about to compliantly follow the doctor's orders.

"Sara, take it. You need the rest. I'll be right here. And Hannah's not going anywhere."

"I don't want to," she said, almost pathetically.

"I know you don't want to, honey. But you need to. Please take your medicine." After a moment of indecisiveness, Sara took the pill from his hand and dropped it into her mouth. Five minutes and a lake of tears later, she was sleeping soundly. Grissom closed the bedroom door and made his way back into the living room, looking for an explanation for the presence of their friends.

"We want to help," Nick said as soon as Grissom reentered the room.

Grissom was silent, overwhelmed at the unforeseen offer. He paced the living room and ended up in front of the front window, from where he could see the rain that had already begun to fall. "I don't know that you can."

"Sara will need help with Hannah until she's feeling better," Lily said quietly. "I'm free during the day."

"Thank you," Grissom said sincerely, turning to face them. "We appreciate all of you. I'll let you know. Right now, it's a just a lot to digest."

"Gil," Catherine said quietly, "you're not in this alone."

"I know that," he said with an appreciative smile. "Is Hannah asleep?"

"I doubt it," Catherine answered truthfully. "She's a perceptive kid. She's worried about you and Sara. But she and Lindsey are both in bed. Linds and I are going to stay tonight. You don't need to worry about Hannah. You just concentrate on Sara."

"Thanks Cat. All of you." He didn't look at any of them, but the tone of his voice was more than enough gratitude for them. They knew Grissom and knew that he appreciated their support; especially at a time so unpredictable.


	23. Ready or Not

Chapter 23 Ready or Not

"You're not married."

"We actually knew that, but thanks." Her automatic reply was sarcastic and clear but the lawyer's words still echoed in Sara's mind, nearly five minutes after they had been uttered. Grissom had immediately jumped in, offering the miniscule details that might have negated Jason's blunt assertion. Unfortunately, Sara knew that no judge was going to look at the miniscule details. He or she would see that the two weren't married, hear reports that they were known workaholics, catch wind of Sara's slight issues with alcohol, and make a life-altering decision. Grissom and Jason had moved on from their relationship, focusing instead on the child's education and medical care, both of which had been astounding since her arrival.

"I'm going to check on Hannah." Sara said hollowly, standing up and leaving the dining room table before either of the men could react. She walked resolutely down the hallway, her hands occasionally trembling as her fingertips brushed the painted walls, giving her an extra bit of much-needed balance. The rooms still spun every time she stood up too quickly but she was hiding it from Grissom; he didn't need any more to worry about.

The afternoon sunlight was streaming in through Hannah's open curtains, illuminating the little girl as she played quietly in the corner, setting her beloved dolls in tiny tableaus. She smiled when she saw Sara and quickly motioned for her mother to join her.

"Can we read Harry?" They had been working their way through the infamous series of books, all the while Sara becoming nervous, as the books grew darker and more difficult to explain to the inquisitive child. Only one rule in their household seemed to bother Hannah; she didn't understand why she was not allowed to read whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. The unobservant people she had lived with in her young life had allowed her to watch anything that came on the television, so why were Sara and Grissom censoring her books? She was only allowed to read certain books, Harry Potter included, when Sara or Grissom was reading with her. They attempted to explain but their reasons were rational only to parents; they didn't want their little girl worrying over issues too monumental for her to even ponder.

"We can read Harry," Sara agreed with a nod, pulling the thick volume from the top shelf of the bookcase. She and Hannah curled up on the bed and took turns reading about the boy wizard and his trials and tribulations. As Sara finished the chapter she was designated, she looked down and noticed that Hannah was sleeping lightly, her arms wrapped tightly around Griss. Consulting her watch, Sara reasoned that it was four in the afternoon, a perfectly reasonable naptime.

Had she even known, two months ago, how much sleep a small child actually needed? Would nap time have been part of an almost daily routine? Looking over at the sleeping child, she allowed herself to consider how different her life had become in such a short amount of time. And she liked it. Hannah's life, too, had changed tremendously. Seeing the child content and peaceful, Sara knew that they had found one another for a reason. She knew then that she would do anything to make sure that this bright, vibrant, delicate child would never be hurt again.

Unfortunately, she was not accounting for the unfairness of the world. During the hearing the next day, the judge granted temporary custody to the state because of some craziness that Sara simply did not understand. Before she could question the ruling or ask Jason for a translation into common English, Hannah was being torn from her grasp. Grissom held her back and spoke unconvincing reassurances, allowing the caseworkers to lead a screaming Hannah to another room. The rest of the day was a whirlwind that landed them in a position to grasp desperately at any detail that might help them win the judge's favor when they returned to court.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course," Sara answered easily, a fake smile already plastered on her face as they entered the town hall. She was dressed in a light blue silk pantsuit, the closest thing she could find to what would seem appropriate. The pearls that circled her throat had belonged to Grissom's mother and the earrings to his grandmother. Sara wished she could have met his mother before becoming a part of the family but he assured both women that they would love one another.

"This is not the way I pictured our wedding," he said, glancing at their barren surroundings.

"We'll have a real one after this is all over. The important thing is that we stay together. Who cares if it's a little less than what we expected?"

"I care," he said softly, leaning down to kiss her lips. "And you will have your day. I promise."

"All I want," Sara said slowly, "is to spend my days with you. And that's already a dream coming true." She stopped for a moment and broke out into a grin, "I just realized how corny that sounded. And I rhymed. I sounded like Dr. Seuss."

"Dr. Seuss is a literary genius," Grissom interjected with a shrug. But he too was having a difficult time hiding his smile. They stopped talking as the judge entered the room and looked at them, taking in the sight suspiciously.

"Dr. Grissom?"

"Good to see you, your honor."

"What brings you here today? I signed that warrant in the Wilder case last night—"

"Oh, this is purely a personal trip, your honor. You've met my fiancée, Sara Sidle. We would like to get married." Twenty minutes later, they were. The sanitary, monotone feel of the ceremony was almost more than Sara could handle but she held back her tears and her objections; she knew it was necessary. When they entered the courtroom to fight again for their child, they needed to provide a completely united front.

When Grissom went to work that night, Sara decided to tag along and help him with paperwork. Without Hannah, their home seemed painfully empty. She wasn't technically supposed to be there without having the proper clearances but Grissom certainly wasn't going to tell, especially if she was going to do paperwork for him. Sitting in his office working away on closed cases, she felt her tension melting away for a short time. She still couldn't achieve the same sense of fulfillment she received from her work before the days of Hannah but she was at least able to immerse herself in something other than worry and fear.

Catherine was the first to realize that she was in the building. She stopped short as she passed the office, turning on her heal and walking over to her ex-coworker. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to keep busy," Sara answered honestly, not up to offering any sort of front.

"Sara, I'm so sorry," she said sincerely as she sat down in a chair across from the brunette. "I can't imagine what you're going through. But I know this is going to work out in the end. You and Grissom make surprisingly good parents." Sara tried to glare at Catherine but ended up smiling; it was true. No one could have imagined that they would have been successful in caring for each other, let alone a child.

"I don't know what I'm going to do if we don't get her back—"

"You're not going to have to worry about that," Catherine assured her, taking her hand and squeezing it reassuringly. As she did, she looked down and noticed Sara's glistening white gold wedding band. "What's that?"

"Catherine, we were going to tell you—"

"You got married? Without telling us! We wanted to be there!"

"Cath, calm down—"

"Catherine," Grissom said from the doorway. "I don't think Sara needs the excitement-"

"I'm fine," Sara said, interrupting his scolding. "And Catherine is just surprised."

"When did this happen?"

"Earlier today," Grissom said, walking into the room and shutting the door. "We didn't have a choice. It's not how I would have liked to marry Sara, but our lawyer thought it would be best. We'll have a reception once this is all over."

"I guess congratulations are in order," Catherine said excitedly, standing up to hug her old friend.

"We don't really want to make a big deal of this. We don't want the other lawyers to have time to analyze our reasons."

"It's still a big step for you two. Congrats. And I know everything's going to work out with Hannah." She offered them a somewhat suspicious wink before turning and leaving the room, a grin still playing across her features.

Later that night, tucked safely into bed and away from the realities of the world, Sara allowed herself to realize that she was officially Mrs. Gilbert Grissom. She was smiling to herself, peaking at her ring over the edge of her book, when Grissom joined her, two glasses of juice in hand.

"After the hearing next week, that smile is going to be permanent."

"What happens if we lose?"

"We won't lose."

"We need to—"

"We need to be positive," he finished firmly. "Hannah will be home with us." Sara nodded encouragingly, attempting her best brave-face. She accepted the glass of juice he offered and sipped from it, setting her book aside and cuddling under the covers with her new husband. Despite the happiness they feigned for one another, neither of the Grissom parents slept that night.

Two nights later, Sara and Grissom were in the same predicament; lying in bed but not anywhere near the brink of sleep. As the clock struck three, the telephone rang. Sara watched as Grissom picked it up on the second ring and then listened to the caller on the other end. "We'll be right there."

"What? What's going on?"

"Hannah's been taken to the hospital."


	24. Room to Breathe

Thanks so much for the reviews – I love to know that people are enjoying this story. I have 1-2 more chapters left before the end but I've been toying with a sequel, so let me know what you think!

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Chapter 24 Room to Breathe

"Hannah's been taken to the hospital. She hasn't eaten in three days."

"Oh my God," Sara said with a strained cry. "Is she alright?"

"I'm sure she'll be fine," Grissom promised as he hurriedly stepped into his clothes. "And Jason was already able to get us a temporary custody order based on this, so we're allowed to see her." Sara was out the door before Grissom but he got behind the wheel, turned on his sirens and sped across the city to the children's hospital. When they arrived at the hospital, Grissom dropped Sara at the entrance and drove off to find a parking space. He was back at her side as she walked into Hannah's cubical in the emergency room. The small room was occupied only by a sleeping Hannah and a young nurse who was fidgeting worriedly at the girl's bedside.

"How is she?" Grissom posed the question as Sara fell to the child's side, taking her hand and clutching it in her own.

"I'm sorry; I need ID before I can even allow you in here—"

"Understandable," Grissom grunted as he pulled out his wallet and his badge. He picked up Sara's purse and dug for hers as well. Handing them both over to the nurse, he waited while she glanced at the names.

"I'm sorry Dr. Grissom, it's protocol in cases like these—"

"It's alright. You're doing your job. I wouldn't expect any less, Ms.—"

"Gregg," she answered, extending her hand to shake his, "but please, call me Maggie."

"I'm Gil and this is my wife Sara. Please, tell us what's going on—"

"Hannah and I have been talking but we don't seem to be getting anywhere. She's one stubborn kid. She doesn't want to eat. Dr. Hart ordered a feeding tube. We had to sedate Hannah so that the tube could be inserted."

"Dear God," Sara said, almost breathlessly. "What have they done to her?"

"Sara, calm down," he knew she was talking about the court system and not the medical personnel, but the last thing they needed was to alienate everyone at the hospital.

"I will not calm down," she said, her voice crisp and angry. "The court takes away our child because apparently our home is not in her best interest and she ends up in the emergency room. Explain that, Grissom." She turned back to Hannah, once more ignoring the rest of the room.

"The foster parents are outside," the nurse offered. "But they weren't allowed in once the court order was reversed."

"Is there a possibility of permanent damage?" Grissom didn't care about the court proceedings, foster parents, or any other involved party at the moment. None of it mattered if Hannah was hurt.

"We don't believe so. Hannah has only been malnourished for the past three days. It was long enough to make her extremely weak but there shouldn't be any permanent repercussions."

"Her primary doctor—"

"She's already been notified. Dr. Jo is on her way," the nurse said with a smile.

"You know her?"

"She's a favorite around here. And she's my son's doctor," she added with a smile. "I'm going to let Dr. Hart know that you've arrived and give you all some time alone. If you need anything, just push the call button." Grissom nodded, grateful that the young woman was being so thoughtful and understanding. He closed the door after she left and moved to stand behind his wife. Placing his hands on her shoulders in a vague attempt to offer comfort, he gazed at the child before them, wondering if they would have ever realized their relationship if it were not for her beautiful and inspirational presence.

Not much had happened by the next day when it was time for Grissom to begin his shift so Sara sent him off to work, ready for a bit of time alone while Hannah slept.

"We'll be fine. She's about to got to sleep and I'm sure the lab needs you."

"I'm starting to think you're trying to get rid of me," he said in teasing suspicion. She smiled, offering him a kiss before shooing him out the door. Turning around, she walked back over to Hannah and sat down on the bed next to the girl before pulling out the book they had been reading. For the remainder of the quiet evening, she read, allowing Hannah take over for as long as she had the energy.

"_It is no wonder that in Spanish, esperanza means hope_," Sara read softly, closing the book and placing it on a nearby table. Hannah, who had been listening intently to the entire novel, looked up at Sara, excitement in her bright blue eyes.

"Could we go to Mexico?"

"Someday," Sara answered absently, ruffling Hannah's hair. "For now, I think you need to rest."

"Mama," Hannah whined, looking pitiful as she stuck out her bottom lip and tried to beg for leniency.

"Hannah, just yesterday you could barely hold your head up. You need your rest."

"Your mom's right," the nurse, Maggie, said as she peaked her head into the room. She walked all the way in, looking carefully at the monitor that was still keeping track of the child's heart rate and blood pressure. "I think she probably needs a nap too," she added in a mock-whisper. Grissom had made Hannah's nurses well aware that his wife was also to be watched for signs of fatigue.

"I'm fine," Sara objected.

"I'll sleep if you sleep," the young girl said, almost defiantly.

"Hannah, we are not talking about me—" She stopped when she saw that both Hannah and the nurse were looking at her doubtfully. "Fine," she said, throwing up her hands in frustration. "We'll both take a nap. Okay?"

"Okay," Hannah agreed in a happy, content voice. She snuggled down under the covers and leaned against Sara before closing her eyes. Sara glared unhappily at the nurse but eventually closed her own eyes and succumbed to the slumber that had evaded her for over 24 hours.

Sara stirred suddenly as she fell out of her dream and into the strange reality. It took her a moment to realize where she was; still in the same small hospital room with Hannah. Sometime in the night she had moved from the bed and situated herself in a recliner in the room. The child was sitting up in bed, giggling as Lily and Maggie created an impromptu puppet show from the various stuffed gifts people had been bringing. The young nurse realized that Sara was awake and quickly fell back into a professional stance. "Can I get you anything, Mrs. Grissom?"

"I'm fine Maggie. Thank you. Lily, I didn't realize you were here."

"We didn't want to wake you," Lily said sheepishly.

"You didn't," Sara assured them. "How are you feeling, sweetie?"

"Good," Hannah said with a bright smile, "Dr. Hart says I can go home soon. Are you going to take me home?"

"Of course," Sara said firmly, standing from the uncomfortable chair and moving to sit next to the young child. She was still groggy and her mannerisms a bit shaky but she remained firm, assuring Hannah that she was going _home_, not just leaving the hospital. They were watching Hannah eat breakfast when Grissom arrived with his lawyer and an unknown woman in tow. Jason and the woman stayed outside the door as Grissom entered, grinning at both his wife and Hannah.

"Good morning," he said before he dropped a kiss on Hannah's forehead.

"Hey," Sara said, offering him a questioning expression as she stood to meet him. He caught her in a deep, loving kiss before leaning down to whisper,

"Let's talk outside." Hannah and Lily were giggling across the room, watching with amused and delighted smiles.

"Sara, this is Deborah McLaughlin, the new case worker assigned to Hannah's case. She has an interesting view on the situation and she has some news for us. We thought you might appreciate it."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Grissom," the woman said, extending her hand. Sara shook it but also shook her head,

"Please, call me Sara. Especially if you have good news. With the grins these two are trying to hide, I think you do."

"I've just come from speaking with Judge Warner. He sees no reason that Hannah should be taken from your care. The court apologizes for taking her in the first place and would like to reassure you that Hannah's case is closed. The paternal grandparents have no claim on the child since they have offered no support or contact since her birth."

"Finally," Sara mumbled, allowing herself to sag a bit against Grissom in complete relief. The absolute fear that she had been harboring since the day the first social worker had arrived at her doorstep melted away as a genuine smile graced her countenance.

"She's ours?"

"She's ours," Grissom answered with a smile and a nod. "The formal adoption papers are already filed. Jason did that this morning. We should be able to get them through by next week."

"How should we tell her?"

"Together," Grissom answered simply, taking Sara's hand and leading her back into the hospital room.

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I'd like to thank the following readers for the recent, wonderfully kind and, as always, inspiring reviews. Thanks again to : Cuddy Cabin, Gris's butterfly, Bower, Gris's butterfly, Lady Piper1, Buzzy, CookieK2, bored-forever, SarahHutchens, csi-ds9, MYSTICAL PANTHER, Lanta, buffygirl52789, Ashleigh24, jtbwriter, forensicsgirl97, ayesha84, stwbrryCSI, phelipa, scififreakmi, anonymous01, imzadipyrgirl, tardychick, secondhandroses, Sidle Chick, hockeymom, drakien, Christieanne-Anna, royalsweetheart, CSIfreak89, djkittycat, Ladybug07. A special thanks to those who have been faithful readers and reviewers since the very beginning such as Lady Piper1, jtbwriter, csi-ds9, djkittycat, Ladybug07, Ashleigh24, SpectralLady, tardychick, and MissJorja17. If I missed anyone who has been a faithful reader, it was not intentional and know that I am still extremely thankful (and humbled) for the fact that you read and review! 


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